… And the first post-apocalyptic Grammy goes to?

Local musician Dutch Peters readies album to be released in event of Apocalypse

 By W.C. Ruffnel

“War is just a war/A Ford is just a Ford/When fire rains from the sky/You’ll wish you were in my bunker.”

-Dutch Peters, “I’m Prepared”

Dutch Peters is no stranger to extenuating circumstances. When was 12, he claims that he survived a head-on collision between not only a Ford Ranger, but also an Apache helicopter.

“They were after my father,” said Peters. “He wasn’t exactly a law-abiding man. So when my old man Peters started stockpiling munitions, it was go time.”

Despite this early and tragic misstep, to most, Dutch Peters has led a relatively quiet and normal life … except when you take into account he has been building and living in an underground bunker which doubles as a recording studio.

“I wouldn’t say I’m a ‘doomsday prepper,’” he said, fingerless gloves grazing his acoustic guitar. “But when doomsday comes, I’m prepared.”

The underground bunker, which Dutch lovingly refers to as “Ol’ Miss,” contains an impressive amount of canned goods, batteries and musical equipment. On one wall hang several second-hand guitars, on another, several high-powered rifles. In the center of the spacious room, Peters’ recording console sits next to his bed. An enormous contraption rigged together from salvaged bits and remnants from his previous life, the console boasts 24 tracks and something Peters refers to as Dutch-O-Phonics. “I’ve worked in a recording studio my entire life.”

But he isn’t willing to divulge which one, or what artists he worked with.

“Let’s just say between the cadre of snobbish and somewhat nebbish locals and the big stars, my distaste for recording other people’s music has grown into the stratosphere – which is exactly where I expect Hell to start raining from.”

Peters’ album, When It Comes I’ll Be Ready, Volume 1, is a 40-song opus boasting lyrical themes ranging from the apocalypse to a long lost love, a woman who he refuses to name. The music is an interesting blend between lo-fi acoustic and ‘80s-styled techno, due largely in part to a Casio keyboard which he boasts has “over 50 sounds, all realistic.” The music is moody; the lyrics weaving a tale of a man who has put his life at stake to build an underground bunker.

“I’ve lost my job, my family, my friends,” said Peters. “All because they didn’t feel I was making the right decisions. But on Dec. 21, they’ll all realize being in this bunker is the only decision worth making.”

The album is set to be released post-apocalyptically, and Peters isn’t worried about finding an audience. He imagines a world with plenty of survivors, but has a very creative way to distribute it. When It Comes I’ll Be Ready, Volume 1 will be available on cassette only, and each copy comes complete with a small cassette player containing several batteries. Limited to 175 copies, he anticipates it being the “only seller or at least probably number one” on the market.

“How many people can claim that they’re actually not only releasing an album, but releasing an album in this manner?” Peters beamed, holding several copies. “I’m thinking so far ahead of the curve I’m not convinced I won’t be hunted down or at least given a position in the New World Order.”

According to Peters, it will be only a matter of months before the New World Order is established after the apocalypse. The “goods” will fight the “poors,” and he plans to lead the music for the resistance.

“Historically speaking, poor people always fight real good,” said Peters, wistfully glancing at his munitions wall. “I’m aware of this. I’m (sic) unafraid to admit that after the apocalypse, with my albums I’ll be considered wealthy. There’s no denying that. I’m hoping my music will inspire the rest of us rich folk to beat down their uprising.”

“They’ll come with nothing/And try to take what we have/But as a group we can/Stop the poor man”

-Dutch Peters, “From Poor To Sore”

Peters is aware that his fully-realized futuristic scenario and ideologies seem a bit far-fetched, but he isn’t budging from them. He claims he has it on “good faith and plenty of intel” that this will most likely be the outcome – one of the many reasons Peters grinned from ear to ear throughout the duration of our conversation.

“I don’t want to be too cocky, but my next album is already mostly finished,” he said. “It’s called When It Came I Was Ready, Vol. 1. It’s awaiting a few touch-ups and the follow up to that is already a little beyond the drawing board. I can guarantee anyone and everyone will be paying attention when they realize how right my albums are.”

It’s scary to imagine a world where Dutch Peters is right, but then again, it may be much scarier to imagine a world where we continue to live the way we have been. Shine on, Dutch, you crazy diamond.

“My country tis-of-thee/Sweet land of misery/Can’t kill me/With a Ford Ranger nor Apache”

-Dutch Peters, “Sweet Land of Misery”

Dutch Peters’ album “When It Comes I Will Be Ready Vol. 1” will be available from Dutch Peters after the apocalypse.

Reach DCP freelance writer W.C. Ruffnel at WCRuffnel@DaytonCityPaper.com.

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