Ask Rocco: 04/07

Organic food too expensive? Sell your f—ing Lexus.

By Rocco Castellano

Several years ago I wrote a blog post about this subject and it seemed to create a category 5 shitstorm of controversy. I still don’t know why.

We live in a nation where people live way beyond their means, drive expensive cars that gobble up a week’s paycheck to make the payment (on a lease), buy homes with mortgages that leave no margin of error, where the average person is holding $9,000 of debt and mounting … and I still get the whiny, crinkled face question from idiots everyday, “How can I eat healthy?”

Vegetables are too expensive, organic food is triple the price. I’ve watched “FOOD, Inc.” a bunch of times, and I recommend you do too. Not because it’s a great movie with a great plot and the cinematography was Oscar-material, but to understand that fact that our food is not real food.

You are not going into the grocery store and filling your cart up with food that has even the notion of a nutritious substance in it. You don’t need to be a food scientist to know and see this – or taste it.

Meat that’s grass-fed and finished is going to have more omega-3 (cancer fighting nutrients), and be more juicy and a hell of a lot more flavorful than the stuff butchered on the killing floor of a factory farm. Smaller chickens that aren’t fed steroids will taste better and – excuse the reference – won’t taste like the rubber chicken the magician that just played your office party pulled out of his ass.

Food that has care built into it will always taste better and be better for you. “Care,” for all you ignoramuses out there, means someone puts in a full day – not eight hours but usually 12 hours – to make sure that food comes out of the ground nutrient-dense and tasting good. Farmers that breed livestock keep that animal on the same farm and care for it from birth until they slit its carotid artery and make it my steak.

I hope no vegans are reading this, because there will be an awful lot of vomit being cleaned up in the fair-trade coffee houses around town.

As you can tell, I’m not a vegan. But I do want my food cared for – animal, fruit or vegetable. Care means that someone gave a shit enough to know that what I was putting in my mouth needed to be good for me. It didn’t have to be processed to the point that the only way it could taste good was to fill it with sugar and something fake. Filled with fake fats, fake sugar, pumped with flavor packs made by some chemist and served to us in ready to eat, microwavable pouches. But Rocco, it’s too expensive to buy organic food. I know, I f—ing heard you already.

Eggs laid by antibiotic laden chickens sell for $1.99. Organic free range eggs sell for $3.99. I buy mine organic free range every time. I’m fairly lucky: I actually know the chickens that lay my eggs, but even if I didn’t, I would know that $4 eggs are going to be better for me in the short and long term.

When you buy something that only looks like food for a long time, you will start to look like someone that is healthy but is rotting from the inside out … until the rotting starts to show on the outside.

You ever see those stupid “don’t be a meth addict” photos? Before Johnny was a meth addict he was a handsome man, after meth he looks like a cross between Leather Face and Jiminy Cricket. Oh … was that a meth addict or a vegan? Shit I forget my metaphors. Let’s stick with Johnny the meth head … meth does a much faster job eating your body from the inside out, but the illustration is the same. Chemically-processed foods are wreaking havoc on your body for the long term, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. You can stop eating the shit you’ve been eating and begin putting healthy food into your body.

But Rocco, organic food is too expensive! I know, I heard your stupid ass the first time.

If you believe that organic food is expensive, think about all the drugs you will have to shove down your throat every fucking morning until you die one day from choking on all of them. Think about how expensive dementia, Alzheimer’s or cancer will be as you are throwing the third Big Mac down your ever-gobbling jaws. Think about how expensive and ridiculously embarrassing Viagra will be when you can’t get it up.

Maybe you don’t give a shit, maybe you live in the “shut the f— up, it will never happen to me” fantasy world.

Let’s say you do. I just say, die … but don’t tell me it’s too expensive to buy organic food because it will be much more expensive to watch you die looking like an old meth head.

So stop living beyond your means, sell the f—ing Lexus, and fill your fridge everyday with food that will help you sustain life and not take it away. Or just die.

The views and opinions expressed in Ask Rocco are the views and/or opinions of the author and do not reflect the views and/or opinions of the Dayton City Paper or Dayton City Media and are published strictly for entertainment purposes.

Rocco Castellano is the author of “askROCCO Uncensored v1,” a speaker and a controversial fitness personality who has won an Emmy for his fitness training role in MTV’s Made. For more information, please visit 

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Rocco Castellano is the author of “askROCCO Uncensored v1,” a speaker and a controversial fitness personality who has won an Emmy for his fitness training role in MTV’s Made. For more information, please visit

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