Ask Rocco: 06/02

Straight guy for the queer eye

By Rocco Castellano

Now that I’ve got your attention…

I hate these f–king themed columns, especially when it comes to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and whatever else people who say they want to use equality as an excuse to stand on a soapbox and scream for attention.

In my world—the “real world”—there are no gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender, there are just people trying as hard as I am to get through this f–ked up roadmap we call life. I come from a place where prejudice was a culture. Blacks, Jews, Asians and gays were all called nasty, ignorant names.

I don’t think where I came from the sophistication rose high enough to understand bisexuality or transgender. If you weren’t judging, you weren’t living. My one-square-mile town in Northern New Jersey was a hot bed of bias and stupidity—and I’m so glad I escaped.

Being gay in America has become so convoluted that no one knows if we’re allowed to love gay people or, as the religious zealots will tell you, hate them so much that they burn in Hell with pedophiles and murderers.

This is the dumbest shit I have ever seen. People, no matter where the f–k you are from or who you love (or like, for that matter), are built from the same shit. Skin, bones, brains (well, some) blood and something that pumps that blood—a heart. I don’t want everyone singing “We are the f–king World” in unison, but we all need to get a f–king grip and stop being so stupid.

This is supposed to be a fitness column but this week I decided to throw my shorts and sneakers in the garbage and produce my own little diatribe.

I was told by all my gay friends to talk about the hyper-image consciousness that all gay men exude, even if they’re piglets with hairy backs. Then my gay female friends wanted me to give a gay woman’s workout. I told all of my gay friends that it would be a cold day in Hell where I would consider anyone of them my “gay friends.” It’s annoying.

I have friends, who I admire, care about, help, support, counsel, love, hang with, travel with, speak to … and never in my mind do I use a vernacular that would assume someone is other than a f–king person.

I know it’s hard to believe but I don’t bring up the unbelievable Kung Pow Chicken I had last night in conversation with a friend of Asian decent, unless I was actually eating it with him at the same table in the same restaurant.

So it would be just as erroneous for me to comment on how nice David Beckham’s ass is to one of my male friends who is involved with other men. I’d rather be talking about decorating or something … oh, shit, how stereotypical. My brother still says no one throws a pillow on a sofa the way I can.

Hopefully, you can see how idiotic it is to hold stereotypes and misguided views of people you don’t even know as your path to righteousness.

Fitness just happens to be the best equalizer, you will see. Getting in shape and living a healthy life doesn’t ask to know if you are gay, Italian, African-American, Catholic, stupid or intelligent. It asks you for commitment, dedication and an unwavering love for yourself. All you need is a little determination, a want for a better life, a healthier life, and the ability to wake up every morning to the challenge that life hits you in the f–king face without crying like a two year old. The more fit you are, the better prepared you will be for whatever comes at you. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or in-between, life still hits f–king hard and you need to feel strong.

There is nothing in the world better than a human being at his (or her) best, pushing the limits, accepting challenges, steamrolling the competition, working hard, working smart and having everything they ever wanted. That’s the American dream. There are no gays, lesbians, transgender or bisexuals in my world. Just like there are no African-Americans, Asians or Caucasians … only people that are fat, skinny, in-shape, athletic or just f–king lazy. I want everyone who is alive to take “pride” in who they are, what they are about and what they stand for and never give a shit what anyone else thinks, believes or wants.

Your life is what you make of it not what someone else thinks you should make of it. It still sickens me to know that many of my friends can’t face their families or have a real relationship with people once close to them because they love someone of the same sex.

It doesn’t make sense to not care for one another, unless you are a piece of shit. If you are, remember: pieces of shit come in all genders, races, sexual orientations and fitness levels. It’s us against you … I think we got this motherf–ker covered.

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Rocco Castellano is the author of “askROCCO Uncensored v1,” a speaker and a controversial fitness personality who has won an Emmy for his fitness training role in MTV’s Made. For more information, please visit roccocastellano.com.

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