Archive by Author

The Horse Story

This story is like the Haley’s Comet of Fred McDougall stories.  Everyone knew about it, but only a scant few of us were ever lucky enough to hear Fred McDougall tell it himself.  It is the greatest single story I’ve ever heard, and retelling it has been a source of great pleasure in my life. […]

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Fred McDougall and the Horse Story – a preamble

This one goes out to all the Troy High School students who had Fred McDougall for American History in high school.  I’m sure you all remember Fred if you were in his class.  He was a good teacher, and very interesting because he quoted Winston Churchill’s most offensive statements and threatened physical violence against slackers.  […]

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A History of Depression

I feel that it is important to share this with whoever happens to come across it.  Maybe it will make a difference, who knows;  I never know how many people read these anyway. I don’t remember when the spiral started, only one day I looked up and realized that I was halfway down the pipe, staring at the […]

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Santa Cruz has a lot of Hippies. And Butt Cheeks.

I just spent two blissful weeks in Santa Cruz, CA, and I must say that Surf City USA is the only place I can think of where a person can look one direction and see idyllic scenery, and turn the other direction and see the most destitute homeless hippies sifting through trash to lick out […]

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First to use DVDA in print…Awesome.

For those of you who read my debate forum column on the economy recently, you probably noticed that I referenced the Tea Party and DVDA in the same sentence.  Here’s the exact quote: “Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and forward a political philosophy which has been sorely lacking since this […]

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Debate Forum Left, 8/9/11

$14 trillion for the Corvette By Benjamin Tompkins I’m in California right now. My deadline for this article is 9 a.m. EST. It’s currently 3 a.m. PST. Why am I writing this now instead of four days ago when I had plenty of time? Because nobody does anything until they have to. Ever. Except for […]

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Debate Forum Left, 7/26/11

A parent apparent By Benjamin Tompkins I think this ruling demonstrates very clearly that the laws governing parent and child are ridiculously outdated. Well, that or the Supreme Court of Ohio doesn’t care much for ensuring that laws governing parent and child remain relevant to this century. See, last time I checked it’s 2011. Gay […]

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Old Lady Get’s Shoved, and the Universe Thinks it’s Justified

I’m back from Spain and I’m jetlagged like crazy.  Newark bumped us from our flight home on Wednesday night and made up take a 7 AM flight, thus robbing us of the opportunity to sleep off most of it.  Newark can suck my balls, by the way.  First off, it’s a {s-t} town in a […]

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Security Guard Stories pt. 2

The following is an email sent to my brother and various other close friends in regards to ridiculous people I used to know.  Certain names and places have been altered because I don’t ever, ever want to have any contact with most of the people in this story.  Ever. Hello.  This email pertains to a […]

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Debate Forum Left, 7/5/11

Is this alcohol or lead poisoning? By Benjamin Tompkins If you drive about 30 minutes back into the high country on highway 285 in Colorado, just before you pitch off the map into the timeless oblivion of the deep back country, you will come across a sleepy little town on the edge of civilization. It’s […]

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News of the weird: 11/18

With Chuck Shepherd The other world series In October, another premier world sports event reached its climax, with one team […]

Advice Goddess 11/18/14

Along came polygraph by Amy Alkon   I’m an aspiring comedian – seriously aspiring – so I’m out most nights […]

The Docket: 11/18

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove A new trend? A 36-year-old woman […]

Advice Goddess: 11/11

By Amy Alkon Scold rush  I try to be direct, but my girlfriend often sees this as meanness. For example, […]

The Docket 11/11/14

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove Hail seizure! Officers responded to a […]

news of the weird 11/11

by Chuck Shepherd Lead Story – Baby beauty Amanda Collins, 28, took “beauty pageant mom” to the next level (down) […]