Archive by Author

Shat Trek part 1

I recently watched Wrath of Khan, and it’s probably the best movie ever made.  I swear to god, don’t even try to rationally address that.  You’ll just come off as annoying and it won’t change the fact that you’re wrong. Now, any time I watch Wrath of Khan, I’m struck by the fact that Shatner […]

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Things Fred McDougall said that became much funnier as I got older and learned about history

To a roomfull of sixteen year old kids in the late 90′s:  “I hated Lyndon Johnson so much I campaigned for Barry Goldwater.” Us:  What? Fred: You heard me.  Barry Goldwater. Us: Sure…

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The Horse Story

This story is like the Haley’s Comet of Fred McDougall stories.  Everyone knew about it, but only a scant few of us were ever lucky enough to hear Fred McDougall tell it himself.  It is the greatest single story I’ve ever heard, and retelling it has been a source of great pleasure in my life. […]

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Fred McDougall and the Horse Story – a preamble

This one goes out to all the Troy High School students who had Fred McDougall for American History in high school.  I’m sure you all remember Fred if you were in his class.  He was a good teacher, and very interesting because he quoted Winston Churchill’s most offensive statements and threatened physical violence against slackers.  […]

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A History of Depression

I feel that it is important to share this with whoever happens to come across it.  Maybe it will make a difference, who knows;  I never know how many people read these anyway. I don’t remember when the spiral started, only one day I looked up and realized that I was halfway down the pipe, staring at the […]

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Santa Cruz has a lot of Hippies. And Butt Cheeks.

I just spent two blissful weeks in Santa Cruz, CA, and I must say that Surf City USA is the only place I can think of where a person can look one direction and see idyllic scenery, and turn the other direction and see the most destitute homeless hippies sifting through trash to lick out […]

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First to use DVDA in print…Awesome.

For those of you who read my debate forum column on the economy recently, you probably noticed that I referenced the Tea Party and DVDA in the same sentence.  Here’s the exact quote: “Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and forward a political philosophy which has been sorely lacking since this […]

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Debate Forum Left, 8/9/11

$14 trillion for the Corvette By Benjamin Tompkins I’m in California right now. My deadline for this article is 9 a.m. EST. It’s currently 3 a.m. PST. Why am I writing this now instead of four days ago when I had plenty of time? Because nobody does anything until they have to. Ever. Except for […]

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Debate Forum Left, 7/26/11

A parent apparent By Benjamin Tompkins I think this ruling demonstrates very clearly that the laws governing parent and child are ridiculously outdated. Well, that or the Supreme Court of Ohio doesn’t care much for ensuring that laws governing parent and child remain relevant to this century. See, last time I checked it’s 2011. Gay […]

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Old Lady Get’s Shoved, and the Universe Thinks it’s Justified

I’m back from Spain and I’m jetlagged like crazy.  Newark bumped us from our flight home on Wednesday night and made up take a 7 AM flight, thus robbing us of the opportunity to sleep off most of it.  Newark can suck my balls, by the way.  First off, it’s a {s-t} town in a […]

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News of the weird: 12/16

By Chuck Shepherd Dying to get a date Like many in society’s subgroups, people who work in “death” industries or […]

Advice Goddess: 12/16

By Amy Alkon American idle My girlfriend is beautiful, highly intelligent and interesting. She’s smart for a living (as a […]

The Docket: 12/9

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove Photo: The Miamisburg Community Holiday Event […]

Jingle ’Burg

Miamisburg Holiday Parade returns By CC Hutten Photo: The Miamisburg Community Holiday Event and Parade begins at 11:30 a.m. on […]

Advice Goddess: 12/9

By Amy Alkon Belittle Richard My girlfriend says she likes that I’m smart but says I can be “on” too […]

News of the weird: 12/9

By Chuck Shepherd Lead Story – TMI Kansas lawyer Dennis Hawver was disbarred in November for his comically bad (24 […]