Archive by Author

Ha! See if this is the tag line for you

This is the little bio line for another harsh, conservative opinion column masquerading as legitimate commentary on the front of FoxNews’ page: Michael Goodwin is a Fox News contributor and New York Post columnist. To continue reading his column on other topics, including Sarah Palin, click here. Yeah.  Can’t f-ing wait to check out his […]

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FoxNews test of objectivity – replace “Obama” with “Reagan”

Fair and balanced huh?  A lot of you don’t know this, but the only reason Obama ordered the bin Laden hit was to garner political capital.  Oh yeah, political capital that was actually stolen from the years and years of groundwork GW Bush did in…Iraq.  Listen, I know a lot about not being objective.  I’ve […]

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Debate Forum Left: 5/3/11

That’s “Therapists,” and I Hate You By Ben Tompkins Conspiracy theorists are an interesting bunch. I don’t recommend talking to them for long periods of time, because very quickly you realize that if you distill the content of their conversation, conspiracy theorists don’t talk about conspiracies. They’re really talking about themselves and their massively overblown […]

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Commentary Forum: Ben Tompkins 4/26/11

JobsBlowhio By Ben Tompkins I generally don’t get asked to write things like this. If any of you have bothered to read my bio, you might notice that I live in Colorado, and as such I’m not a natural go-to guy when Dayton needs some perspective on state and local political issues. It’s not that […]

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Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome

This one’s for the ladies.  Appendix A Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome is defined (by me) as a hateful, cyclical set of self-defeating, empty relationship skills that inevitably result in the sufferer whining to their emotionally stable and normal friends about how they always seem to end up dating douchebags.  It works something like this: A semi-naive […]

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Security Guard Stories pt. 1

I don’t know why comedians works so hard to pull new material out of their butts.  As near as a I can tell, the funniest stuff in the universe is already being played out every day by collections of moderately-to-severely disturbed/bitter/hateful/annoying/sociopathic troves of pure comedy genius roaming the face of the planet completely unaware of their super […]

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Debate Forum Left: 4/12/11

Obama a flip-flopper? Quit your crying. By Ben Tompkins I have never in my entire life seen any president take so much crap for things beyond his control. Ever since 2008, when then-Senator Obama said if he were president he would try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and his co-conspirators in a civilian court in New York […]

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God the Father?

This has been bugging me for a long time, and I’ve only recently been able to put my finger on it.  I’ve got a really good friend who’s mom is turbo Christian.  Like, ridiculously Christian.  She’s one of those Christians who always seems to find a way in every single conversation to kick over some […]

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Commentary Forum: 3/22/11

A difficult, but nuclear reality By Benjamin Tomkins The hardest part of writing about human tragedies is figuring out how to start talking. Preliminary estimates of the death toll in Japan are somewhere in the 10,000s. That number is a little large for my limited, hyper-simian brain to deal with when it comes to suffering […]

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Why people get hit

Hi. I’ve decided to start a new thread dealing with what stupid things we’ve all done that had absolutely no need to happen other than our own personal stupidity. Ideally, someone gave you a smack, but it’s OK if you just jacked up your car or destroyed your house. Please add on as you see […]

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News of the weird: 01/20

By Chuck Shepherd Man’s other best friends People’s love for their pets reached a new high in December when a […]

Chew on this: 01/20

Get more in the know about your dough By Jayne Powers Sometimes, we don’t know when we think we did […]

The Docket: 01/13

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove Bus-ted A 35-year-old man was arrested at the main […]

Public art, sans gallery

Life imitates art in Yellow Springs By Tammy Newsom Photo: Davis Street Propeller Bush, artist: Bruce Parker; photo: Yellow Springs […]

News of the weird: 01/13

By Chuck Shepherd Annals of Injustice Richard Rosario is in year 18 of a 25-to-life sentence for murder, even though […]

Advice Goddess 01/13/2015

You’ve got bail I am not attracted to “nice guys.” I’m in my early 30s, and I don’t think I […]