Conspiracy theorist

Conspiracy theorist

Abandoned puppies

by Mark Luedtke


Photo: [l to r] The author’s daschund and the two puppies left outside his house


On January 31 of this year, my girlfriend and I were forced to take care of two abandoned puppies. I took my dachshund out in the evening as usual, but as we walked onto the porch, she raced to the stairs to investigate what turned out to be two fat little puppies laid out on the guarding of the stairs down from the porch like two loaves of bread. It wasn’t very cold at the time, but a severe cold front was due to come through that night.

The poor puppies mewed like kittens, and they were so fat they couldn’t walk. They crawled away from my dog and fell off the guarding into the shrub nearby. I took my dog away from them to do her business, then I picked up one of the puppies and carried it back inside with me. My girlfriend didn’t hesitate to take it when I got back in the house and told her it had been abandoned. I went back and picked up the other puppy – which, having been left alone outside was crying like it was dying by that time – and brought it back in.

Man, I was mad. Whoever abandoned those puppies had obviously targeted us to care for them. I don’t know if the coward had watched and knew we were home or not. He must have. If we had been out of town those puppies would have frozen to death, but the puppies were warm and perfectly placed like I’d missed the coward who abandoned them by seconds at most.

Within minutes of bringing them into the house the puppies acted as if they owned the place. It was like they had decided our home was their new home and they were pretty happy about it. My dog played with them. They clumsily chased her around the house. They picked up her toys and played with them. They tugged with each other and wrestled as if they’d lived here their whole lives. Then they would crawl in our laps and fall asleep. Fifteen minutes later, they would start all over again. It was cute – they were so joyous – but it was heartbreaking because we couldn’t keep them. We knew we were going to shatter their happiness again when we took them to a shelter in the morning.

It turns out the puppies weren’t really fat. The coward must have stuffed them with a tremendous amount of food before he abandoned them. In the morning, they bounded around like you would expect puppies to do. Although only a couple months old, they were already as big as my dachshund, and their rambunctiousness made it doubly clear we couldn’t keep them.

I called several shelters in the morning, but none could take them. Finally we decided to take them to the Humane Society at 1661 Nicholas Road. The puppies’ first thought was we were playing a game as we piled them into the laundry basket and they jumped back out, but when they figured out we were taking them away all the joy disappeared. We felt guilty taking their hope from them. My girlfriend couldn’t look at them during the trip.

Fortunately, the people at the Humane Society were extremely helpful. They did a quick health check before accepting the puppies. They said they had foster families immediately available to house break them and give them basic training so they could be adopted. After they had taken them, they charged us $15, which I found odd. They should have told us there was a cost up front, but it was worth it to see them taken care of. I don’t appreciate being used by the coward who abandoned the puppies, but it was fun to share their joy for a little while despite the bittersweet nature of the experience.


The views and opinions expressed in Conspiracy Theorist are the views and/or opinions of the author and do not reflect the views and/or opinions of the Dayton City Paper or Dayton City Media and are published strictly for entertainment purposes only.

Mark Luedtke is an electrical engineer with a degree from the University of Cincinnati and currently works for a Dayton attorney. He can be reached at

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