Conspiracy theorist

Black Friday Is uncivilized

 by Mark Luedtke

There’s a series of car commercials running now that call Black Friday uncivilized. No kidding. It’s grossly unnatural for people to voluntarily form into herds and pack themselves into tiny areas.

Black Friday wasn’t anything like that when I was a kid. Something changed, and that something was the Department of Education. President Jimmy Carter signed it into law in 1979. Ronald Reagan vowed to repeal it, but he didn’t have the votes because Democrats controlled Congress.

Before the Department of Education existed, states used to compete on education. If one state devolved too much into brainwashing and miseducation of students, the children of that state suffered relative to the rest of the country. Parents would either move with their children to states with better schools or protest. Federalism of education provided a valuable check on the evil to which our rulers could subject children and, therefore, could get away with.

Not that state-run education was good; it was just less bad than federal-run education. The Department of Education nationalized and standardized brainwashing and miseducation of children across the country for the benefit of our supreme rulers in Washington. Parents can no longer move to another state to avoid this evil, and protests are laughed at by our self-serving rulers of both parties. Parents and students have to bend over and take it. As a result, we can add Black Friday mania to the list of bizarre, unintended consequences of locking children in government prison-schools for their entire childhoods.

Or maybe these consequences aren’t unintended. Government’s socialist schools exist to brainwash children into obeying our rulers over anything else. This is easily proved by the legion of stories of children getting in trouble for disagreeing with a teacher, even when the teacher is wrong. One letter from a teacher to a parent, well circulated on the Internet, illustrated this. Explaining the reason for a student’s detention, the teacher wrote: “Alex consistently defied me. During class, he contradicted me numerous times when I insisted that the length of one kilometer was greater than that of one mile. Every other student in class accepted my lesson without argument, but your son refused to believe what I told him, offering such rebuttals as, ‘You’re lying to the class,’ and commanding other students to challenge my curriculum. Although he was correct, Alex’s actions show a blatant disregard for authority, and a complete lack of respect for his school. In the future, Alex would be better off simply accepting my teachings without resistance.”

That should make every American’s skin crawl. And this isn’t an isolated incident. It’s government policy.

Worse, today the government doesn’t limit itself to assigning detention to students who resist this abominable system. If a student, especially a boy, stands up, speaks out, disagrees, threatens to break from the herd, his teachers bundle him off to one of government’s institutionalized drug pushing shrinks. The pusher hooks him on government’s psychotic drugs, starting him on a downward spiral guaranteed to ruin his life. Students must follow the herd or be forcibly medicated into conforming. And even though these unnatural schools control children from sunrise to sunset from the time they can walk, government always blames the parents.

Government will not tolerate independent thought or action.

The goal of this evil is to strip children of the ability for independent thought, transforming them into mindless servants of our rulers, and it works. Too many become adults who unquestioningly believe and obey. Many docilely sacrifice their lives and limbs fighting our rulers’ wars without ever realizing our rulers and their wars are making us less safe, as well as destitute.

The natural side-effect of this is people become equally mindless consumers, which also serves the interests of our rulers. Many unquestioningly believe and obey the news media, the commercials and whatever else the plutocrats tell them. Now we suffer the spectacle of Black Friday every year.

Reports of Black Friday violence have become part of tradition. With the press constantly focusing on the violence, it’s no wonder a recent poll found Americans don’t trust one another anymore.

But as usual, the press gets it all wrong. These are dog-bites-man stories. Whenever you put a tremendous number of people into a small space, there will be some incidents of violence. Black Friday feeds the news cycle. The amazing story is how peaceful people are on Black Friday. It’s a testament to the powerful human instinct for cooperation that raised us from hunter-gatherers and built the civilization we have today that so little violence occurs on Black Friday.

Slate magazine illustrated another way the press gets it wrong: “This year’s crop of capitalism horror stories aren’t just limited to the United States (and Puerto Rico).” Only somebody immersed in government’s socialist schools could blame Black Friday violence in our state-run economy on the peaceful, voluntary system of capitalism.

It’s ironic that a master of war – the ultimate expression of socialism and herd mentality – Gen. George Patton, said, “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

The views and opinions expressed in Conspiracy Theorist are the views and/or opinions of the author and do not reflect the views and/or opinions of the Dayton City Paper or Dayton City Media and are published strictly for entertainment purposes only.

 Mark Luedtke is an electrical engineer with a degree from the University of Cincinnati and currently works for a Dayton attorney. He can be reached at


Tags: , ,

Reach DCP freelance writer Mark Luedtke at

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Got an Opinion?


We are interested to hear what you think.  Please send us a message. [contact-form 4 “Opinion”]  

No Jet Engines Here


The very first thing is to learn how to pronounce it. No rhyming with the home of Baylor University in […]

Debate 9/11: Let’s Make Tammany Hall Great Again

cartoon cmyk

Third Parties have long complained that having the two major parties in charge of the election process gives Republicans and […]



No music and arts festival would truly be complete without… wrestling, right? Well, this year at Ladyfest Dayton, buckle down […]

Lives-in-progress, demo-style


Right from the start of this Jesse Peretz adaptation of Nick Hornby’s novel Juliet, Naked, there’s something warm and unfinished […]

Are ‘Friends” Electric?


Gary Numan’s Savage return to form at CVG’s Bogart’s Gary Numan with daughter Persia, who sings on the new single […]