By Michelle Strauss

Means of transportation

When a woman arrived home from work she noticed something rather peculiar: a man was riding her bike down the street away from her house. Fortunately, she was able to use her camera phone in time to capture an image of what the man looked like. The photo shows a man with long, curly, red hair and beard, black work boots, a tan utility jacket, and blue jeans, a description that perfectly matches the animated character of Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons. If you have seen a cartoon character with a red and silver bike, send in your tip ASAP.

A UPS mess

A woman frantically searched for packages she ordered a few nights before to help her furnish the rest of her apartment. When she got home from work, she noticed her packages were not there. She proceeded to call UPS to confirm that her packages were delivered; they were delivered that morning while she was at work. The packages were placed on her porch and then stolen while she was away. The items she should have received that day were two bed comforters, a coffeemaker, a small microwave, and a blue-ray player. Although the perp may not have known what he was stealing at the time, he was probably able to furnishing his living space with the items in the woman’s packages.

Through the looking glass

A local blue-collar woman had her large sedan parked in front of her house. One stormy evening, a robber entered her vehicle. The robber only took the woman’s prescription glasses. Maybe the robber was looking to read a new book or to be able to see other unlocked sedans from great distances. There was no sign of forced entry. Nonetheless, the local police are on the lookout for this nearsighted perp.

A sign of relief

An elderly man contacted the police to report a crime. The man caught his next-door neighbor blatantly urinating on his front door and the screen protecting the door. The elderly man thought that this was considered harassment and wanted it documented by the police.

In need of a proper perch

A woman called the police when she noticed her two large outdoor chairs were missing in action. She believes the chairs were stolen in the middle of the night while there was heavy traffic on her street. The chairs were rather large, weighing about 50 pounds each, so they would have needed to be transported in a large vehicle. Although there are no surveillance cameras in her area, police are on the lookout for the chairs, as well as the possible perps. Someone must have been really desperate for a new place to sit in these upcoming summertime afternoons.

Shopping spree

This wasn’t your typical shopping spree. No cameras were following the perp, and no one was running through a store with fun music in the background. Instead, a large man with a stocky build went into a local clothing store. He selected some clothing items, changed into them in the dressing room, and collected his original clothes. Then he calmly left the store with his street clothes in his hands. The district manager of the establishment followed him into the next store where he began the same routine as before. When the man tried to leave, the district manager stopped him. The police were dispatched to the scene to find the man adorned in various Ohio State clothing items.

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Reach Dayton City Paper freelance writer Michelle Strauss at

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