A rocky road

Recently, a woman called the police when a rather shocking incident occurred on her way home from work. The woman observed a group of ten people crossing the road as she pulled up to a stoplight near her house. The car in front of her seemed harmless…but that was not the case. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place when the car was stoned by the woman in the passenger’s seat of the car in front of her. This woman must have been under a lot of pressure to have the stones to get out of her car and randomly pelt this woman’s car for no reason while calling her “nana.” She could not have made a ‘boulder’ move. The victim certainly did not take her car for ‘granite’ for she had recently purchased her Ford Taurus. After this…her car was certainly not rock solid.


A few nights ago, local deputies responded to a damaging call. The call came from a local, beloved store in our beautiful city that tragically gets hit with crime frequently. The security officers of the establishment met with the responding cops to discuss what had happened. The security officers described a man with several tattoos and wore a black and white camo shirt broke into a deep rage and destroyed a window…completely busted open. Eye-witness accounts detail the man as being possibly intoxicated and wanting to damage the property purposefully (this being due to the fact that after one strike it did not break…however after the second strike the window shattered!) Cops are still looking for this Jazmine Sullivan wannabe. Although he didn’t ‘bust the window out your car’ he certainly busted a huge window at this convenience store!

Lil Richie

A few weeks ago, cops responded to a damsel in distress. Police were dispatched to the scene. The woman who called the police was waiting for the cops to arrive on the scene in her car parked outside the residence of the supposed perp. The woman went to the residence to purchase an iPhone 7 based off an ad she found on Facebook. The individual who was “selling” the phone went by the name “Richie Richie.” When the woman arrived to purchase the phone, something seemed a little fishy. The woman gave “Richie Richie” $250 for the phone, he handed her the phone and everything seemed ok. However, as he left the scene, she realized the phone still had a passcode on it. The woman flagged him down to make sure the passcode could be removed from her newly purchased phone. “Richie Richie” told her that “his sister could take the passcode off the phone.” So, she followed him to his home and he went inside to supposedly take the passcode off the phone. Unfortunately, he didn’t return for several minutes and after she knocked on the door and there was an answer from a woman who had never heard of “Richie Richie” she contacted the police. His get rich quick scheme might have seemed like a good idea to the man at the time but now he will have to pay for his crime.

A fashion emergency

At a local clothing boutique, a cashier witnessed a woman shoplift several items from the store. The woman placed various articles of clothing into her large leather tote bag upon arrival to the establishment. Then perused through the aisles, checked price tags…ya know the usual thing we all do when we shop…but she found certain items especially enticing. She may not be getting ready for fashion week but we know for certain that her wardrobe received an upgrade this weekend.

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Reach Dayton City Paper freelance writer Michelle Strauss at MichelleStrauss@DaytonCityPaper.com

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