Home makeover

Two sisters, one apartment, one vision…this could be an opening line to an HGTV show but that’s not the case for this crime. Last week two sisters got into an altercation in the apartment when one of the sisters came over and didn’t like how her sister had her apartment set up. A fight broke loose and was taken outside. The fight went wild over the apartment décor to the point where one of the sisters tried to run the other over with her car. That’s when the local authorities were contacted. No decision has been made on the paint color.

Doll man

Just a few days ago a robbery took place in a local apartment. The complainant of this crime was not home at the time of the incident. The victim realized when they returned home that the door to their residence had been forced open and various items of sentimental value were taken. The items removed from the residence include none other than various dolls and valuable figurines. There are no suspects at this time but the police are on the lookout for this doll collector.

Fifty cents

We have all heard the childhood joke,” what concert costs $.45? 50 cent featuring Nickelback!” But for this victim there was no punchline. The victim left their vehicle unsecure on the curb in front of their house. The perp was able to easily break into the vehicle to take the 50 cents that were left lying in the console and cup-holder.

Fast and Furious

A man drove down a street when suddenly, he saw a Pontiac enter the opposite lane, heading for a frontal collision with him. The driver slammed on his breaks and the Pontiac driver did the same. The Pontiac driver exited his vehicle and the man recognized him—he had made a theft report against this man a week ago. The man saw the Pontiac driver wave an unknown object in the air, so he threw his car in reverse and sped away. Turning his car around, the man got stuck at a red light. The Pontiac came up behind him and its driver revved the engine to intimidate the man. In order to avoid the Pontiac, the man quickly switched lanes, cutting off the cars behind him. Luckily, those cars were able to cut the Pontiac off, too, which allowed the man to escape. Eventually, the man stopped in a secluded area to contact the authorities about this fast and furious menace.

Fool Manchu

That morning, a woman heard a knock on her door. She snuck a peek out the window to see who was knocking. There stood a 40-something white man with a light Fu Manchu beard and moustache in “unknown color” shorts. She did not answer the door because she thought it was just a solicitor, and maybe her mom told her not to talk to 40-something-year-old white men with light Fu Manchus. A short while later, she looked outside and saw the same man now with a green Sawzall and red hand grinder in the backyard. She called her husband to confirm he hadn’t sent someone over to borrow tools, but he said he did not expect anyone that day. She stuck her head outside and asked what the heck he was doing, and the man said he was simply borrowing these tools to build a fence. The woman said, “No,” and the man wrapped up the tools and set them on the back steps of the house. Despite her objections, he took them, anyway.

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Reach Dayton City Paper freelance writer Michelle Strauss at MichelleStrauss@DaytonCityPaper.com

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