Miss-ing Piggy

A complainant contacted the authorities a few weeks ago in regard to a break-in. The complainant believes that someone broke into their home to steal their beloved pet—their pig. The authorities believe the perp gained entry to the home via the bathroom window screen. However, the pet pig, at the time, was not in the house but outside the home in the backyard. This burglar, despite the opportunity, did not take any other items from the home. This perp is either looking for the next Miss Piggy or (more morbidly) a slice of bacon.

Who let the cats out?

Similar to the popular song from 2000 by the Baha Men, the victim of this crime has no idea who committed this fiendish (in this case feline) crime. A few days ago, a woman contacted the local police in search of answers. She suspects that someone may have broken into her home and left the door unlocked…and let all of her cats loose from her home. If you see anything fishy, like a group of cats that look a little lost, help them find their way home by calling in a tip.

Cow Appreciation Day

A few days ago was National Cow Appreciation Day, according to Chick-fil-A. And this perp took the appreciation of this sacred animal to new lengths. The perp entered a local convenience store and browsed through the produce section. The perp then began to place a half-gallon carton of milk into his pants, and security cameras caught him on tape. However, the man was able to leave the scene on foot because the crime wasn’t noticed until later that day upon review of the footage. The police are in search of this thief (but at least someone enjoyed the holiday, right?).

Where’s the dog?

Last week, a couple decided to enter a local home in search of a handgun. This was determined because the couple is currently suspected of stealing the missing handgun from said home. The way in which they broke into the home? Through the doggy door. The local police have leads on the suspects for this crime—but it has not yet been confirmed by Dayton City Paper if these suspects are of human or canine origins.

Rabbit foot

Last week, a local man realized his pet rabbit had been stolen. He immediately contacted the local police upon this realization. Not only had the rabbit been stolen, but the cage was missing as well. After calling the boys in blue, the owner began to take the investigation into his own hands. The owner of the rabbit followed a trail of rabbit food left behind by the bunny thief. The trail led to none other than his next-door neighbor’s home. The man confronted his neighbor and had a revelation. The neighbor stated that it was their son who committed the crime. An official summons has been requested for the son to be reprimanded for his crime by the police for breaking into the shed to steal the rabbit and its supplies. (I guess you could say this perp really needed a luckier rabbit’s foot while committing this crime.)

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Michelle Strauss
Reach Dayton City Paper freelance writer Michelle Strauss at MichelleStrauss@DaytonCityPaper.com

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