By Michelle Strauss

Second time’s the charm

A few weeks ago, a woman attempted two bank robberies on the same day. The woman began her first attempt by slipping a note to the bank teller and was unsuccessful. The teller at the first bank told the woman that “she did not have that kind of money.” The woman ran out of the bank and fled in a blue pickup truck. She then attempted to rob another bank a few blocks away. The woman slipped the same note to the bank teller but this time… and it actually worked. The bank teller did what the woman told her to do, and she calmly walked out of the bank. Soon after, the woman was caught by the local detectives; but hey, maybe the third time is the charm for this woman.

Too little too late

A local woman desperately needed her car repaired a few days ago, so she contacted her mechanic. Apparently, the system the mechanic uses to pick up the cars is rather unorthodox. While the woman caught a ride to work as she was instructed, she left her keys next to the gas cap of her car so that the mechanic would be able to easily retrieve the car to be repaired. However, before the mechanic could arrive at the scene, the car had been stolen! Local police are still on the hunt for this woman’s car. If you know any information about this case, contact the local police ASAP. 

Wheel of fortune

In a small neighborhood within our beautiful city, various (and rather random) items have been stolen from homes. But the gag is…why these items, all taken within a few days? So, it could be the same perp for these various odd cases. Some of my “favorite” items listed among the stolen property include: the snacks and Polar Pop combo, three bags of socks, a set of TV dinners, a bag of used batteries, and my all-time favorite (I can’t believe someone filed a police report for this!) a fidget spinner! If you know who this serial thief may be, contact the authorities!

Classic sitcom

This story reminds me of a ’90s sitcom. The teenage daughter wants to go out, the mom says no, but the daughter takes the car anyway. Then, at a local home, a young woman stole her mother’s car in the middle of the night. The mother, however, did not seem surprised by her daughter’s actions and filed a police report. Although this case is closed, just remember what happens when you disobey your parents…

Good eats

While a woman was at a local restaurant two days ago, living her wonderful life and enjoying dinner with family, her Acura Integra was being stolen from the parking lot. The car has yet to be retrieved by the authorities. If you know who the perp may be, contact the boys in blue immediately!

Smoking kills

At a local convenience store, a man entered with one single purpose: to steal some food. Now this isn’t an Aladdin type of story, but it’s got its own charms. Just last week, the man entered the store and picked up his groceries (by means of shoplifting). After he collected the items, he fled the store in a rampage and began to rant and rave at the cashier who was on a smoke break right outside the store entrance. The suspect then fled the scene, luckily was caught, and then reprimanded by responding crews. Although this was not a chivalrous act of kindness (stealing food to give to the poor and so on), this shoplifting man sure has a ragin’ style.

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Reach Dayton City Paper freelance writer Michelle Strauss at

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