On the beat: 06/23

My luck without women

By Jim Bucher

So, my assignment this week is answering a question: In all your years on the beat as Dayton’s TV guy, have you been approached by women who were more than a bit romantically interested?

Well, that’s a bit personal isn’t it?

And, certainly, if something did happen, I would never kiss and tell—let alone write about it. Unless of course, a big money book deal were to come my way…

I do wish the being-on-TV-thing would equal women coming out of the woodwork, you know, like a rock star. But, alas. For me, it was pretty boring.

And for me to throw around the “Hey ladies, you know I’m on TV” line never quite worked.

Plus, the majority of my time on local television here, I was married with children. That said, I knew of others who scored big time being a local celebrity—men and women.

For me though, the scene was set early on in grade school. Yep, a big fat zero on the luck-with-ladies score card.

It was third grade, and Michelle was the cute girl in class…

Well, Michelle never gave me the time me of day, at her locker or mine.

One day though, the needle started to move—Michelle took a liking to me.

“Was this a dream?” I asked myself. “Could this be happening?”

After school, we walked home hand in hand. I was in love! Or whatever an 8-year-old’s definition of love is.

Me, this skinny, gangly, goofy looking kid with the hottest chick in class, quite possibly in the entire school.

This lasted just short of 24 hours. You see, the very next day my whirlwind romance ended as quickly as it began. I was a foil for the real kid she liked, to make him jealous. And it worked.

Gary was twice the size of yours truly, and as he approached like a T-Rex blaring out, “Why are you walking home with my girl?” he pushed me, which resulted in a tumble to the hard tiled classroom floor, chipping my front tooth.

As the Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud,” but it sure does hurt like hell!

Once those two love birds got their third-grade relationship back on track—always aware Gary was lurking nearby and my teeth couldn’t take anymore—I asked Michelle why she used me in her love triangle.

“Well,” she said, “sorry about that. You’re cute, funny and all, but you’re like a brother to me. I could never date you.”

From that moment on, my fate was sealed. I was forever typecast with most potential girlfriends as their brother—someone they could never be in a relationship with.

I’m OK with that. That’s what I tell my therapist at least.

I think the closest I came to being a bad boy was with movie actress Carrie Fisher, you know “Star Wars’” Princess Leia? Yeah, that’s her.

At any rate, Ms. Fisher was in town with her one-woman show. I was lucky to nab an interview with her to air on that evening’s news broadcast.

She was witty, charming and a bit flirtatious.

It was a fun interview until the next day, when I get a phone call from her handlers asking if I’d be free to have lunch.

Wow just think, first it’s lunch and the next thing you know I’m in a T-shirt and fuzzy slippers waiting for Ms. Fisher to arrive home after a long day on a movie set with dinner on the table and ready to play with my light saber.

A call to my friend Bobby DiSalvo at Mamma DiSalvo’s Risturante is all it takes.

I arrived beforehand and Bobby rolled out the red carpet with a table in back, with candlelight plus some flowers for good measure.

The princess is gonna be treated like … a princess. I’m ready to sell my house, quit my job and become Mr. Carrie Fisher.

Much to my amazement, my princess arrived with a prince, or at the very least her palace assistant.

Yep, my romantic rendezvous turned out to be rendezvous-less with a lunch for three instead.

Well, that’s about it as far as my salacious, sexcapades go in the local TV biz, although I do have a few stories of others that involve scandalous affairs, infidelity and a naked romp under the news desk.

But … you’ll have to wait for my book.

Cheers,

Buch

A regionally known and loved local television icon for over 25 years, “Buch’s” followers describe him as trust-worthy, fun, the guy next door, a friend and role model. You can promote your business with Buch and grab your customer’s attention! Reach DCP freelance writer Jim Bucher at JimBucher@DaytonCityPaper.com.

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For over 25 years, Jim Bucher has been a regionally known and loved local television icon. “Buch’s” followers describe him as trustworthy, fun, the guy next door, a friend and role model. You can promote your business with Buch and grab your customer’s attention! Reach DCP freelance writer Jim Bucher at JimBucher@DaytonCityPaper.com.

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