Why I do what I do

From the big coasters to my small iced tea

By Jim Bucher

This and that, that and this…

It’s time for my bi-monthly column off my meds.

So, this may be all over the map.

If you follow me, chances are you’re not taking your meds either.

Things on my mind…

Why do I drive way out of the way to purchase gas that may be 20 cents less per gallon?

By the time I travel to and fro I’ve wasted my savings.

I’ll tell you why: It’s the purpose of the thing. Like many, I’m fed up with gas rising 35 cents per gallon with no obvious reason, then it drops a couple of pennies over the next month. Just in time to rise again. It’s a sick little game and if I can save 3 or 4 bucks per fill-up, heck, I’ll drive to Findlay.

Don’t give ’em an extra penny!

Why do I waste money every week on the lottery?

I’ll tell you why. Even if the odds of winning are astronomical and they say you have a better chance being hit by lightning… My take is, somebody is gonna win. May as well be me.

If you don’t see my column next week, you’ll know why.

Why do I constantly get upset at the timing of the traffic lights on North Main from Great Miami Boulevard to the on-ramps of I-75?

I’ll tell you why: I’m a glutton for punishment. Never can make any of them. It’s a good three minutes from that stretch of road to get on the highway.

And the traffic light timing people obviously don’t travel that way to work. It’s just dumb. Like they’re expecting I-10 Los Angeles congestion or something. Hell, maybe it’s being operated by someone in Cali, who knows, but people in charge, can you please revisit this headache? Just sayin’.

Why do I purchase unsweetened iced tea at McDonald’s like five times a day when I can make it at home?

I’ll tell you why, it’s only a buck. I know, I know, that’s $5 a day, but I get a freshly brewed cup, put in a little sweetener, and I’m off.

No pitchers in the fridge, no tea bags to deal with, no additional water usage at my house. (Can you tell I’m trying to convince myself?)

Just seems a little easier this way.

Why do my children leave dishes in the sink?

I’ll tell you why, pure laziness.

Yep, in my kitchen you physically can’t get the dishwasher any closer to the sink. But I’m constantly reminded, “Dad, they need to soak?”

Ah, no they don’t. Unless it’s caked with spaghetti sauce or Parmesan cheese, it should go right in the dishwasher.

And another thing, why would you eat the last of the turkey cold cuts and put the empty package back in the fridge?

Probably the same reason no one replaces the toilet paper roll and worst of all, no one admits it. Guess someone sneaks in at night and leaves a sliver of TP.

Just don’t get it. Better minds than I have tried figuring out that one.

Why can’t I handle thrill rides at Kings Island anymore?

I’ll tell you why, because the thrill is gone. Let me explain: As a kid I was fearless; nothing scared me except for the monster under my bed, but that is for another time.

I don’t know if we were young and dumb, but at my age now, what was once a thrill is now simply frightening.

Sheer terror is another thought that comes to mind.

Not sure if your brain fluid handling all the balance and equilibrium stuff has dried up or what.

You’d hit The Beast or Vortex coasters and run around to ride again and again.

Now just a couple of times takes a few days to recover. Can anyone say “traction”?

Why do I DVR shows and never seem to watch them?

Hell, I still have Tonight Shows with Jay Leno to catch up on.

I’ll tell you why. Actually, this I can’t explain. I’m deleting them now, but saving all my episodes of the Late Show with David Letterman. I do miss him, but I can’t wait for his new Netflix show to begin. Welcome back, Dave!

So, there you have it. Some thoughts from a “meds-less mind.”

What’s on yours? Would love to hear from you regardless if you’re on something legally or illegally or not.

We’ll see you all next week. In the meantime, I’m due for a refill.

Cheers,

Buch

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Jim Bucher
For over 25 years, Jim Bucher has been a regionally known and loved local television icon. “Buch’s” followers describe him as trustworthy, fun, the guy next door, a friend and role model. You can promote your business with Buch and grab your customer’s attention! Reach DCP freelance writer Jim Bucher at JimBucher@DaytonCityPaper.com.

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