Sign Language Astrology

L ibra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Some things don’t respond well to extra pressure, like sleep. Sometimes the more urgent it is that you get some rest, the less likely it’ll actually happen. You end up watching the clock all night, desperately tired, thinking, “Ugh, I have to get up in five hours…. Four hours…three hours!” Of course, taking the pressure off isn’t easy in those situations—however, you still need to do your best, since one or two just like this are bound to crop up this week. Sometimes the only thing that works for me is accepting and embracing the worst-case scenario—then when things play out a little less badly, I can count my blessings.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

When people are stung repeatedly, some develop a tolerance to the venom, but many people ironically become more vulnerable, not less, with each subsequent sting. That’s the case with those closest to you; your emotional and psychological barbs are more and more devastating—which is why people sometimes become more guarded as time goes on. Of course, you can’t help what you are and what you’re capable of, but there is a counter to their fear—you demonstrating that you’re not only capable of controlling your capacity to sting, but increasingly reluctant to employ it in the first place.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Pursuing a traditional path isn’t generally the happiest scenario for you Sagittarians; you’re usually best off bushwhacking your own trail through the wilderness. That means really putting faith in yourself and your abilities—which sometimes means largely ignoring the counsel of your more traditional and conventional friends. You’re not a clone—and trying to pursue the traditional mainstream path, whether through your career, relationships, or whatever you’re up to, isn’t likely to make you feel particularly happy or fulfilled. Yes, your way is harder. It’s also way more interesting, and simply better.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Compared to you wise old Goats, we’re all impatient children. Planting slow-growing seeds and waiting uncomplainingly for them to sprout is part of what you do. You serenely accept that they won’t yield fruit for years. The rest of us require more imminent gratification. What’s the problem? Nothing, except when your world overlaps with someone else’s. Then we get restless and frustrated because things just aren’t as urgent for you as they are for us. While it’s on us to grow up and develop the kind of patience that comes naturally to you, you could help us by making a concession here or there—and by being willing to speed things up a little now and then.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Right now, most of the stuff you hope to accomplish takes time to develop, discipline to stick with, and foresight to plan for. Hoping to see quick results for any of it is a juvenile mindset you must outgrow if you want to see this stuff through to its conclusion. You will see some results, only a few months from now, if you don’t falter. But so far you haven’t been realistic about the timeframe, and when a few days’ work hasn’t yielded visible results, you’ve been secretly disappointed and disheartened. Stick with it. Widen your viewpoint and take the long view. You’re on the right track; it’s just going to take longer than you’d like to prove it.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

I won’t lie; if I find out someone I’m interested in is a Pisces, my romantic interest usually fades rather quickly. It’s not that I don’t love and adore you, Pisces—I just know myself well enough to know that we’re not a good synergistic match. Try to be grateful, not offended, when you encounter people like me, who are trying to save you time and spare you disappointment. There are plenty of people out there who are thrilled to partake in what you have to offer. It’s not always easy for a Pisces to make difficult calls like that—but sometimes they have to be made. Be glad when someone else is willing to make them.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

It can be exhausting, I know, to put yourself out there only to be repeatedly rebuffed or unappreciated. Unfortunately, this is one of those situations where so much depends on being in the right place at the right time—and you’ll never know when or where that is until after the fact. What that means is you need to keep trying. Do it for all the great ones who’d love all (or even most) of what you have to offer, but just haven’t discovered you yet. Mix up your game and keep things fresh, of course—the important thing is to keep playing.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You have a fetish for the familiar. Admit it. You tend to be drawn towards people and situations where you more or less know what to expect and are unlikely to encounter any surprises. The irony is that some of the best times in your life have been when you’ve experienced the unexpected. Can’t you try to, if not actively seek out surprises, at least embrace them when they seem inclined to happen? This week, when you get an invitation or see a situation to jump into something totally outside your comfort zone, at least consider giving it a go.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Time for a reality check. I believe in being optimistic and have seen how hoping for the best can yield some miraculously positive results. However, there are limits. I’m a big fan of pushing and testing those, but there’s a point where they can’t go any further. What you’re doing now is like sticking an ice cube on a hot sidewalk in the sun and hoping it won’t melt. This might just be asking a bit too much from the reality you’re hoping to create. Be ambitious and hopeful and imaginative—but at least bow to most of the laws of physics, won’t you?

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Don’t get between Mama Bear and her cub or she’ll flip out. Even if she’s normally passive and sweet, when you trip that protective instinct she’s fiercer than the wildest creatures out there. This is also true of you Cancers. While generally not that scary (at least compared to those intimidating Leos or vicious Scorpios), you are a force to be reckoned with if someone you love is threatened in any way. Don’t forget that. When you’re feeling weak or ineffective, recall that you have enormous power at your disposal. It’s just tapping into it that’s difficult—but it should get easier now that you remember it’s there.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leos hate performing tasks that don’t fit in with the larger-than-life way they prefer to think about themselves, such as scrubbing toilets or taking out the trash. Of course, everyone has to perform such tasks on occasion, and it turns out no one likes them much. So it’s a necessary lesson for every royal Lion to learn how to humble herself and do the shit that needs doing, without complaint—because you’re not actually royalty. Your noble character is one of your great strengths, but sometimes it needs to be set aside so you can just be an ordinary, hard-working human being.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Sometimes the choice is between something totally artificial and completely safe, and something wilder and more risky. To some signs this decision is a no-brainer, but for you Virgos, who place value in both categories, it’s bound to be more tricky. This week, you’ll have to decide which side of the fence you’re on, though. Which will it be? A trip to Disney or camping in a national forest? A chlorinated hot tub or some outdoor natural hot springs? While you’re deciding, keep in mind not only the experience itself, but the kind of people you’ll meet and interact with while you’re there. That could
prove important.

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