Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You think you’re an astute observer of human behavior, but at the next dinner party, watch out for whatever’s happening beneath the table, just out of sight, instead of above it. Is your lover toe-fondling your neighbor’s crotch? Is there a gun (or similar-type threat) pointed your way? A dog begging scraps? Money being passed right under your nose? There are secrets being played out right in front of you, just out of sight. You wouldn’t necessarily feel betrayed if you knew them (although you might); I suggest you seek to discover them not to right some wrong underway, but rather because knowing what’s going on, in this case, is a lot more fun than not knowing.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

It’s been ages since I last suggested you go on a plate-smashing spree, but I think this week might be a good one for exactly that. Going to town on a stack of ceramic plates would have a triple purpose: Not only is it incredibly satisfying and fun, but it would also serve to wake you up out of the spiritual slump you’ve been in. All that noise might wake someone else, too. See who comes along to investigate, and how they react. At least one of them is likely to be a kindred spirit you’d love to meet.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

I know Rams who’ve let their carefree natures, generosity, and occasionally foolish choices drag them deep into dire circumstances. At times they were nearly on the verge of burning furniture to keep warm through the winter. Your decisions this week could lead to an intensification of your current state; if you’re poor already, I’d suggest, just this once, reconsidering them. I think as a general rule it’s best to err on the side of generosity, excitement, and enjoyment of life. This week, however, the cautious, most responsible choice might be the best one.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

What’s a Freudian slip, after all? It’s usually just something you say by accident because you’re distracted, with often-comic results. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. This week, however, your slips of the tongue might strike closer to home. They might, for example, reveal your true desires, ones you’ve kept hidden from even yourself, or finally expose a secret you’ve longed to tell. Give your verbal fouls a bit of credence. They might be nothing, but it’s still probably worth your while to listen. Could they be messages from yourself to yourself? If so, what are you going to do about them?

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Don’t just sit there and stare at a blank page (or its equivalent). Your problem lately is that you have spent too much time waiting for inspiration, not properly realizing that it doesn’t come (for most) frequently or consistently enough to constitute a proper career, creative or otherwise. Most successful artists have realized, at some point, that it’s best to simply get down to work, do the best they can, and enjoy inspiration when it miraculously strikes, instead of waiting with bated breath for it to arrive. Isn’t it about time you realized it, too?

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge your powerful craving to “belong” to another person, or have them belong to you. Once you let someone inside that formidable shell of yours, it’s quite easy to want to lay claim to them somehow. It took so much work to get them there that you’re loath to let them leave. However, it’s just that intensity (of course) which is most likely to scare off those who are close enough to get a good look at it. Ironically, there’s nothing else about you that’s likely to frighten away those you’d otherwise be intimate with. It takes incredible bravery to truly let go and trust that someone will stick around, yet I’m afraid you’ve got to find the courage to do exactly that. Your alternative, after all, is crap: trying desperately to keep your grip while they run for their lives.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leos have a marvelous capacity to influence the world around them. It can lead, however, to a bad habit of walking into a situation, and instead of simply accepting it as it is (and their own status as newcomers), changing things around to suit their own taste, needs, and opinions. You might have better ideas about room layout and interior design, but if you start rearranging your new roommates’ furniture the night you move in, they probably won’t take kindly to it. Tread carefully, Leo. Just because you have the power to change the world around you doesn’t mean you should always use it.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Your lust for efficiency – and your inherent efficacy – means you sorely resent it whenever you have to do something that’s not an especially fruitful use of your time. Having your time wasted galls you all the more because you know just how much you could be doing with it. Nevertheless, since the world isn’t populated entirely by Virgos, it means you’ll have to endure countless hours of this kind of thing. You can mitigate it somewhat by multitasking – making phone calls while waiting in line, for example – but that’s not really the best solution. You don’t have to milk every minute for its maximum productivity, you know. Try another angle, one that’s just as much a challenge, but probably more achievable: milk every moment for its maximum enjoyability, instead.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I don’t think they happen anymore, but at the Cut and Paste live competitions, designers used their computers and artistic skills to generate designs on a given theme in real-time, while their works-in-progress were beamed onto screens for an audience to enjoy. Their work was influenced by audience reactions in the same way a DJ’s mixing might be based on the dancing and enthusiasm of those listening. I was particularly excited by the infusion of community and interactivity into what might, under other circumstances, be a fairly solitary activity. You, too. could bring more people into the loneliest aspects of your existence, probably in a way that enriches all of you. Why not give it a try?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. It works as well when the distance consists of time rather than space; it’s easy to romanticize your memories, for example, and fall in love with a mentally edited version of someone you once knew, even if you didn’t adore them back when you knew them. Beware of self-delusion this week, as your potential to fool yourself (with the best intentions, of course) is at a yearlong high. This could be dangerous not only for you and your (surprisingly tender) heart, but also for whomever you’re fooling yourself about.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Eschew snobbery – this week and every week. Think of those beautiful people who aren’t aware of how gorgeous they are; they’ll flirt with anyone, because the concept of “out of their league” hasn’t even crossed their minds. Those who’ve become aware of their cuteness, however, often display that awareness in unattractive ways. You’re not naturally snobby. But you’re in danger of crossing that line, based on your charm, good looks, intelligence, experience, or whatever. Remember to keep it cool; yeah, you’re great. So is everyone else. Whether you can appreciate what they’ve got to offer, or not – that’s your problem.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I see so many Capricorns (and many other signs, besides, of course) defeated by shyness and insecurity. The fact is, most people are somewhat shy and somewhat insecure. Someone’s going to have to make the first move eventually, if anything’s going to happen. Assess the likelihood that it’ll be the other person (whoever they are); it’s very improbable. That leaves you. Be realistic about the situation. Your two choices are: 1. Wait and see, but end up with only disappointment, because nothing will happen. 2. Go for it. This could, of course, go either way. But as it’s the only option that even allows the possibility of something fantastic and inspiring to occur, I can’t imagine you making any other choice. Locate your chutzpah and use it.


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