V irgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
It’s funny when little kids think they’re getting away with something, because they have no subtlety or craftiness whatsoever. Everything they’re up to is completely obvious to any adult observer. In some ways, you Virgos never outgrow this. Although of course you’ve developed more social skills and can lie effectively when necessary, there are certain feelings you simply suck at hiding. Don’t bother trying, because it’s completely transparent to most of us, and just makes you look a bit silly or naïve. Try just being boldly honest about what you’re experiencing; since we already know, you’ll come off as impressively forthright.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Naturally, you always have the right to change your mind. However, that doesn’t mean the whole world must change to accommodate your new decision. This is especially true in relationships. If you went in with one understanding, and now want a new one, it’s perfectly reasonable to try to gently and clearly renegotiate. However, it’s not the least bit fair to become accusatory or enraged if the other person isn’t interested. At that point, since the ideal scenario you hoped for has proven impossible, you’ve got to decide between some less-than-ideal ones. Spend this week weighing those bittersweet options and figuring out which one is best for you.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Usually, it’s you reminding others that they can’t always get what they want (so frequently, you!). However, that’s a lesson you have to learn all too often yourself, and this week is likely to provide another unignorable reminder. Instead of railing against it, trying to fight it, argue about it, or plunge into a depression over it, can you try to simply accept it. If you can do so swiftly and gracefully, without hesitation or fuss, you’re very likely to nearly instantly discover something new that could almost completely distract you from your unrequited desires. However, if you spend more than a minute resisting the inevitable, you may be stuck contemplating it, distraction-less, for quite some time.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
A new setting can expose new facets of yourself that you either didn’t know about or don’t often get expressed. While this is usually a fun and positive thing, it can occasionally have negative repercussions, like bringing out a side of you that you’re less than fond of. This may be the case this week in any situation that takes you out of your comfort zone—suddenly you may discover that you’re capable of more bitchiness, bossiness, or intractability than you ever imagined. Try to be graceful about these sides of yourself—but also more importantly, more compassionate when they emerge in others.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Being bored can be good sometimes. When you’re taken out of your comfort zone and away from the familiar activities you usually use to keep busy, you’re forced to become more creative and find ways to fill your time. Sometimes, this process takes quite a while; being bored for 15 minutes won’t quite do the trick. However, try being bored for two weeks and I guarantee at the end of that fortnight you’ll have found numerous entertaining pastimes you’d never have considered before. For the next couple weeks, strictly cut yourself completely off from two of your most time-consuming activities—just to see what might come forth to take up the space they leave behind. It may prove far more fulfilling.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It’s shocking to me, in this day and age, just how wasteful some people can be, even though we’ve basically been taught to recycle and cut down on unnecessary waste for the past two decades, at least. I don’t expect people to be perfect or have no ecological footprint, of course, but I’m just dismayed at how blatantly some people simply don’t give a shit, at all. I’ll assume you’re not one of these; however, most of us could significantly improve how we treat our planet—this week, find ways to do exactly that.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
I’ve been vegetarian for over twenty years, so it’s unlikely I’ll start eating meat any time soon. However, if I did, you can bet your last dollar that it’d be free-range and organic. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with eating meat, but there’s a whole bunch wrong with the chemicals and cruelty involved with factory farming. This is my judgment call, and while I think I’m absolutely right, I wouldn’t think to impose my will on others; the most I’d do is encourage them to find the information to be totally conscious about the choices they’re making, and their potential consequences. This week, try to limit your own proselytization of your worthy agenda to
Aries (March 21-April 19)
If simple willpower could delay a rainy day, you’d be wreaking havoc with the world’s weather systems. Lately, you’ve been applying an awful lot of energy and thought to stuff you really can’t affect. While I know you have plenty more where that came from, just imagine how much more productive you’d be if you didn’t throw so much of your time and focus at stuff you can’t budge. This week, assess how effective your various efforts are likely to be—if you discover you have time and resources that’d be better spent elsewhere, please reallocate them at once.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
There’s a peach tree here that only produces hard, crunchy peaches—but they’re the most delicious peaches I’ve had in years. Even though their texture is unexpected (they’re more like apples than the peaches I usually eat), I was surprised at just how flavorful they are. Similarly, someone or something entering your life this week might have a shape or facet that you’re not familiar with or fond of—but give them a try anyway. You may be pleasantly surprised at how much the rest of them can compensate for that one “flaw,” and soon enough realize this new flavor’s not just equivalent—it’s better.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Learn another language. Geminis, more than any other sign, benefit from the ability to see things in different ways, and thinking in a foreign tongue gives your thoughts different shapes than you’re used to, and takes your mind in unexpected directions. There’s no underestimating the wonderful stuff you brilliant Twins when equipped with the proper tools. I hope you’re not too lazy to seriously pursue becoming fluently multilingual, but if you are, spend this week brainstorming other ways in which you can (at least temporarily) radically alter your perception of the world, and, hopefully, trying some of them out.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Your friends and I are always counseling you to let things go. Of course, we know that’s easier said than done, especially for you Cancers. Unfortunately, you’re not going to like your horoscope much this week, because I’m just going to tell you that you need to let go of one more thing you just don’t want to let go of. Don’t get too frustrated with me, though. You know that this is the recurring lesson you’ll need to learn throughout your life. Although you’ll never outgrow it, you’ll hopefully find that each time you’re forced to relearn it, you’ll be able to do so with more swiftness, ease, and grace.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Sometimes I must actively avoid humanity in order to keep from being overwhelmed by cynicism about it. People can be fantastic, inspiring, and creative—but they can also suck. Whenever I think that I’m going to get too pissed off about hypocrisy, stupidity, cruelty, or ignorance, I beat a fast retreat and chill out by myself for a while until I can keep my eyes on the big picture and remember that there are many positives to accompany the negatives. If you’re having trouble noticing that fact, follow my example, and hide out until it gets a little easier.
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