Tag Archives: headline

The Docket

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim by Amanda Dee The loads we carry Two officers were dispatched to check on a public restroom. Witnesses on site reported someone had been in there for “an extended period of time.” One of the officers did what anyone would do to check on the status of a long-term bathroom […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 1/26

Theft replaces profits Mark Luedtke In his new book about Dayton’s great innovators, “Dayton’s Children,” Mark Martel shows some things never change. Angered at Dayton government’s system of patronage, poor schools and having to pay bribes to get valuable work accomplished, John Patterson confronted his obstructers. “He convoked a meeting of a thousand local leaders, […]

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The Docket 1/19

The peddling pirate Two officers were on patrol when they noticed a man riding an orange bicycle on the sidewalk. They pulled over by the biking man and asked him to stop and step off his vehicle. They informed him they stopped him because he was riding his bike on the sidewalk but ultimately patted […]

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Debate Forum 1/19

DebateSelfie

Monkey see, monkey sue The case for macaque copyright By Sarah Sidlow It’s a jungle out there in copyright land and all the monkeys are getting in on it. If you’ve recently seen a winsome little monkey on your newsfeed, chances are it’s not your ex. This magnetic macaque is at the center of a […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 1/19

Travesty in the jungle By Mark Luedtke It’s tough being a fan of a small market sports team. Top free agents gravitate toward large markets. They get less TV coverage and, therefore, less TV money. But the most frustrating aspect is the calls tend to go their way. This is such a well-known phenomenon in […]

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The Docket 01/12/16

Infant disguised as adult man Another man walked into a store and committed another crime. The cashier who checked him out only rung up one item, but when the man was leaving the store, he was holding something other than the item he purchased: a 4 Loco. The cashier confirmed the man didn’t have the […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 1/12

Price inflation, crash or both Mark Luedtke By all measures the world economy is grinding to a halt, and while government’s propagandists claim the US economy is growing, indicators say otherwise. David Stockman reports, “With each passing day the evidence [the US economy is slowing] mounts, and this morning’s trade data was a doozy. During […]

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On The Beat 1/12/16

Y2K kid turns sweet 16 By Jim Bucher Time. For some it goes too quickly during vacation. For others it crawls along at a snails pace while in school or at the job. For me I wish to travel back to the ’90s … that’s the 1990s for you jokesters out there. Those were the […]

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Debate Forum 1/12/16

scc160105

Cattle call An armed militia in Oregon: crazies or Constitutionalists? By Sarah Sidlow Are your friends talking about the mess in Oregon? Here’s what you need to know. A militia group going by the name Citizens for Constitutional Freedoms is engaged in the armed takeover of a vacant building in a federal wildlife refuge in […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 1/5/16

The government is an armed gang Mark Luedtke Imagine a gang of armed men showed up at your house and stole money from you. Suppose they went door to door and stole money from your neighbors and everybody else. Naturally, they would spend a percentage of that money on themselves. They would live large, buying […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 5/23

By Michelle Strauss Wii the people A woman decided to go outside to take her evening smoke. Inside her residence, […]

The Docket: 5/16

Short relationships, long fights A woman and her ex-boyfriend decided they needed to meet and discuss their breakup. The woman […]

Law and Disorder: The Docket 5/9

40 oz. fight A woman was hanging out with friends when they all decided to buy some beer. She knew […]

The Docket: 5/2

Cupcake capers A man walked into a store and headed to the cupcake section. The owner suspected there would be […]

Law & Disorder: 4/25

Broken brandy bottle A family left for church in the morning. When they returned, they noticed their motion-sensor alarm system […]