Tag Archives: headline

How do you shop at Christmastime?

How do you shop at Christmastime? By Jim Bucher   ’Twas a few days before Christmas and all through our house, no presents were wrapped, I feel like a louse. To be honest, I procrastinate. I don’t know if it was being in the TV news business for so long and always hitting deadline or […]

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Debate Forum 12/15/15

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Semantics and sensibility What the %$&? does “sensible gun legislation” mean? By Sarah Sidlow Hey, have you heard anything about guns lately? Your answer is probably somewhere between “um, yes” and “please stop talking about guns already.” It’s true—guns are back in the headlines. Why? Recent deadly shootings in San Bernardino, Calif., at a Planned […]

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On The Beat 12/15/15

Does anyone talk on the telephone anymore? By Jim Bucher While chatting on the phone with my boss, confidant, soothsayer, guidance counselor, psychologist and all around great guy Dayton City Paper publisher Paul Noah, the subject came up of actually talking on the telephone. “No one does, but I prefer it,” says Noah. I’ll admit […]

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The Docket: 12/15/15

Penis envy A woman called in to report vandalism. Someone (or some ones) had painted “DICK” on a side of her house. The woman suspects two of her son’s ex-friends because  “when [her son] doesn’t play with them, they get ‘crazy.’” She also suspects this because her son’s new and improved friend said the two […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 12/15

Starting WWIII in Syria NATO ally Turkey shoots down Russian fighter plane By Mark Luedtke I’m skeptical of the criticism of teaching school children to duck and cover during a nuclear attack. Critics act like all schools will automatically be vaporized, but they’re wrong. Nobody knows how far away a nuclear blast might occur, and […]

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Debate Forum 12/8/15

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Does video kill? Could manipulated Planned Parenthood videos be responsible for murder? By Tim Walker Abortion is a subject that has always stirred passionate debate in this country. Ever since the Supreme Court’s 1973 ruling in the Roe V. Wade case legalized abortion in the United States, citizens on both sides of this controversial issue […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 12/8/15

Devastating government failure Mark Luedtke Middle Eastern terrorists regularly execute spectacular attacks against the U.S. or its allies. Trillions of dollars stolen for wars and spying since 9/11 can’t prevent them. ISIS-connected terrorists recently killed 130 in Paris. President Obama claimed ISIS was the JV squad and a day before the attacks declared ISIS is […]

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On The Beat 12/8/15

Buch’s 12 gifts of Christmas By Jim Bucher I just thought of what I would do with a Power Ball Jackpot. You know, for when it reaches hundreds of millions of dollars? I mean, somebody has to win it—why not me? Well, surely I’d keep a little to survive on and to put towards college […]

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The Docket

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim by Amanda Dee   The sweet escape Two white men entered a convenience store and took approximately six bags of Snickers bites, six bags of Musketeer bites, one bag of Milky Way bites, six bags of Kit Kat bites, six bags of Twix bites, six bags of Milky Way minis, […]

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Conspiracy Theorist: 12/1

<h2>Be careful what you wish for Black football players oust leftists at Mizzou </h2> <em>By Mark Luedtke</em> Hoping to promote a Lenin-style revolution, radical leftists have long agitated young people to protest in the streets for any perceived slight. President Obama, who strives to be America’s Lenin, made a career of it before he became […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 5/23

By Michelle Strauss Wii the people A woman decided to go outside to take her evening smoke. Inside her residence, […]

The Docket: 5/16

Short relationships, long fights A woman and her ex-boyfriend decided they needed to meet and discuss their breakup. The woman […]

Law and Disorder: The Docket 5/9

40 oz. fight A woman was hanging out with friends when they all decided to buy some beer. She knew […]

The Docket: 5/2

Cupcake capers A man walked into a store and headed to the cupcake section. The owner suspected there would be […]

Law & Disorder: 4/25

Broken brandy bottle A family left for church in the morning. When they returned, they noticed their motion-sensor alarm system […]