The Docket: 09/15

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

by Amanda Dee

A magician never reveals his secret

When taking out money from his pocket while he was waiting in line, a customer in a convenience store accidentally dropped $60. A man behind him then casually covered the money with his foot. He then bent down and swiped it. When the costumer realized he had dropped his money, he began looking around the ground. The man said he didn’t see anything, but that he would pay for whatever he was getting. The costumer said he had money but he had dropped it. In the parking lot, the costumer confronted the man and said he knows he has the money and wants it back. The man said he had no money.

Faking it 

A cashier called officers into her place of employment after she was duped. A man walked up to her and bought four 24-packs of Natty Light ($45). He showed ID and paid with a $20, two $10s and a $5 ($45). She did not question it. (But maybe she should have questioned the purchase of four 24-packs of Natty Light). When she went to put the money in the vault, the bills were rejected—they were fake. The only clue is the Marquette lanyard that was around the man’s neck.

D–king it

A man strutted into a convenience store at 1:47 a.m., appearing to be a regular costumer with short gray hair and glasses. However, the man didn’t intend to pay for his purchase. He walked down one of the refrigerated aisles, took an unidentified 16-ounce can of beer and shoved the beer in the front of his pants. He left shortly after. The type of beer that was pantsed and stolen remains unknown.

‘Just looking’

A male was lurking near a convenience store. The cashier and another employee noticed him lurking. They also noticed him stopping people walking by, asking them to buy him beer. One of these people entered the store and reported what he was doing. So, they called police. As an officer was driving to the scene, he saw the man looking into a car. He explained, “I was just looking.”

Every rose has its thorn

An officer reported to a florist, where a crime had just gone down. He asked the employee if they were robbed. “Yes,” she said. He asked her what happened. She explained that a white woman in jeans and a sweatshirt had walked into the store and “engaged in small talk for a bit with her.” Then, the small talk ended, and the woman told her to hand over the money in the register. The florist said there was no money. So, the woman demanded money from the florist’s purse. The florist said she had no money in her purse. The woman left but was apprehended at a nearby dry cleaners, where she had committed an aggravated robbery.

I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but…

The complainant in this case called in to report his ex-girlfriend. The victim said he was letting his ex stay at his home because she was recovering from an assault against her. The victim said his prescribed medication is delivered to him and separated in a pack for each dose. When his ex left, however, seven packs of his delivered medicine were missing. She also took a 36-inch long samurai sword.

Boys don’t cry

When officers were dispatched to this scene, a man was sitting on the sidewalk, shoeless and bleeding slightly from the “head area” and nose area. When they asked him what happened, he said he went to a friend’s house and got into a little tussle. “He was being very vague,” according to the report. A neighboring witness said he saw the man get beaten with a yard ornament by another man. (The yard ornament was made of iron.) When they asked the suspect why he beat up the man, who was in fact his uncle, he said, “Because he hit me first.” When they asked him how many times he hit his uncle, he said he “only hit him 20 times.”

(Not-so) Grand theft auto

Officers reported to the scene of a (not-so) grand theft auto. A man parked his vehicle in front of a convenience store. He then proceeded to run inside—with his vehicle running. With the keys in the ignition. When he came out, he was shocked: His car, which was unlocked and turned on with keys in the ignition, was stolen.

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at

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Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

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