The Docket 10/13

Cat fight

A “female named Genevieve AKA Jenny,” valued at an estimated $100, has been kidnapped. The caller who reported the kidnapping told the officer her daughter called her and informed her that a “friend” stole Jenny, one of the two females the family adopted from the  street. The mother said the “friend” has been eyeing Jenny since the summer before because Jenny would walk over and play with her. Right before the time of the report, the daughter had an asthma attack that led her to the hospital bed, where she received a text from the “friend” saying she and her mother did indeed steal their cat Jenny.


A couple called into the station to report a theft of $1,600 cash that was being stored in a “Marvel comic book style backpack.” They suspected a mutual “friend.” On the date of the incident, the “friend” came over and “after hanging out for a few minutes” and was “acting in a normal fashion” before he “unexpectedly switched his mood” and pulled out a revolver and screamed, “GIVE ME THE BAG,” referring to the “Marvel comic book style backpack” in which the victim and his partner hid their rent money. The victim told officers the man is “crazy.”

Leave our heroes alone

A pizza delivery woman, who is also a mom, was making a delivery, when a creepy thin man on a bike made contact with her and said, “Hi, how ya doing?” He then told her to give him all of her money, so she relinquished her purse. When officers asked if she would be able to positively I.D. him if they found him, she said yes, and then they probably swore an oath to bring this travesty to light and bring justice to this hero.

Case closed?

At about 11 p.m., a man took his dog out. He heard something rustling in his yard, so he investigated. The lock on his shed had been “busted” and some of his belongings were removed from the shed. When he looked around, he found all the “stolen” items sitting by the fence. (Thieves can have anxiety too.)

To-go bag

An officer arrived at a grocery store, where a theft had just occurred. The loss prevention officer said he witnessed a woman donning a purse enter the store with someone she later claimed as her grandson. She then proceeded to walk through the aisles, first taking black leggings and placing them in her purse then a box of disposable biobags. Her grandson then walked up to her with a bottle of Axe body spray, which she also placed in her purse. (The woman was cuffed and taken to jail because the grocery store, like all grocery stores, has an anti to-go bag policy).

‘Mass Exodus’

A security employee at a convenience store called in a theft. The employee said two suspects wearing backpacks walked into the store and then walked to the back, where they stowed away two bottles of Long Island Iced Tea and one bottle of—wait for it—screwdriver-flavored Smirnoff Ice. On their way out, one of the suspects made sure to steal a sandwich for the road. If you see a man wearing a white, blue and gray hoodie, sunglasses and a gray hat reading “Mass Exodus,” you can grab yourself a drink from his backpack.

Mr. Green in the can with the can

An officer responded to a late afternoon theft call at a convenience store. Upon his arrival, the manager showed him security footage showing the two suspects. Suspect one walked into the store—right to the donuts. He grabbed a box of them, then proceeded to grab other foodstuffs from the aisles before hitting the refrigerators. He grabbed a can of energy drink and walked toward the men’s bathroom, where suspect two stood alone. Suspect one passed off the energy drink then exited the premises, looking a little chunkier than when he arrived (his red hoodie was filled with food and donuts). Suspect two then hit the can with the energy drink, but came out can-less. The officer left the store and bumped into this suspect but could not arrest him because the staff “did not know exactly which liquid can was stolen.”

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at


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Amanda Dee
Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

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