The Docket: 11/18

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

Researched and reported by Charles Grove

A new trend?
A 36-year-old woman was arrested at a department store after she attempted to steal a wig by placing it under her shirt. After trying to leave the store, she was stopped by employees who asked for the wig back – but the woman claimed she did not have it. When employees called the police, the woman pulled the wig out of her shirt, gave it back and then tried to leave again but was detained by employees. The woman then claimed she was having a seizure and fell to the ground. Once police arrived, the woman was placed in handcuffs and into a cruiser, only to have her claim she was having another seizure. Prior to medics arriving, the woman kept shaking on the ground but was maintaining eye contact with police. She was eventually charged with shoplifting.

Take the hint
Officers were called to a home on a disorderly conduct complaint after an ex-girlfriend came over uninvited to give her ex-boyfriend some leftover food. The two men at the house told her to leave, saying she wasn’t welcome. Seconds after she left, a front window of the house was shattered and the woman was seen fleeing in her car. Four hours later and after receiving a second complaint about her, police pulled the woman over in the area. They told her to stay away from the house. Shortly after the warning, police received another complaint and eventually found the woman intoxicated and screaming for her ex-boyfriend. She was arrested on multiple charges.

Howdy ho, neighbor!
Police responded to a call about a man’s next-door neighbor pointing multiple guns from the man’s porch. According to reports, the man asked his neighbor to turn his music down since it was 3:20 a.m. and he had work in the morning. The neighbor told him, “Fuck you! Make me turn down my music!” The neighbor then began urinating between the houses from his porch. After he finished, he tried to take a swing at the man. When police responded, the neighbor immediately began to yell, “I didn’t do it! I didn’t do anything!” When police placed him in the cruiser, he began to cry. Officers also found cocaine in the neighbor’s house, which he claimed to know nothing about.

Got milk?
Officers responded to a call at 7:52 a.m. about a man checking car doors for unlocked vehicles down a street. After looking through the neighborhood and several area grocery and convenience stores, all from which people reported seeing the man, who appeared to be high earlier in the morning, officers detained the man after he attempted to steal from a gas station. The man placed a bottle of chocolate milk in his hoodie pocket before exiting the store without paying for it. After admitting to police he did steal the milk, he told officers, “I know you’re not taking me to jail for chocolate milk!” Officers did take him to jail for chocolate milk, along with the $25 in his pockets that he could’ve used to buy chocolate milk.

Aren’t we all …
An officer was flagged down by a couple who saw a man rip the toilet paper out of a port-a-john and heard him curse them out as he walked away. The officer found the man shortly after and had to tell him multiple times to stop so they could speak to him. When asked why he was stealing toilet paper and screaming at people, he told the officer, “I’m tired of getting fucked over!” which he repeated over and over again. The man said he was homeless but wouldn’t go to the shelter because he would fight the people there. He then stated the officer would be doing him a favor by taking him to jail so he could fight everyone else there. He was arrested for disorderly conduct.

Editor’s Choice
That’ll be a lot of Hail Marys…
Police responded to a call about a man making an obscene gesture at a Dayton church. After speaking to the pastor of the church, it became apparent there was much more to the story. A parishioner said she saw the man enter the building, stand outside of the nursery while he unzipped his fly and then begin masturbating with his penis exposed. The man came back a few minutes later and began grabbing his groin through his pants but was able to flee the scene before police arrived.

Reach DCP Docket Editor Charles Grove at

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Reach DCP Docket Editor Charles Grove at

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