The Docket 12/29/15

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

by Amanda Dee

The year of 2015 had its fair share of trials and tribulations. CDs were stolen, Christmas decorations set aflame, and plenty of verbal abuse was dealt.

But most remarkably, this year, the Miami Valley was home to a red meat epidemic. Steaks went missing, jerky was looted, and burgers were thieved.

Here in our final docket of the year, we give you the overview of 2015: Year of the Beef Thief. 

What’s at steak?

“$85.85 worth of meet [sic],” apparently. An officer arrived to a grocery store on a theft call and asked where exactly the crime took place. The loss prevention employee disclosed the dog food section was the scene of the crime—at least, that’s where the perpetrator shoved the meat under his shirt and inside his coat. The recovered meat is listed in the report as follows: a beef fillet, beef, another beef fillet, a ribeye steak, another ribeye steak, a steak, a fillet, a beef steak and another beef fillet. The perpetrator also attempted to take Axe shower gel and Dove body wash, possibly for use after meat consumption. Before finally meeting his match, the perpetrator had gotten away with heisting at least 50 other grocery stores. Originally published on July 28 by Amanda Dee. 

A lot at steak

A loss-prevention officer witnessed a man stick a pack of steaks down the front of his pants and then attempt to leave the store. The officer chased down the man, who retreated back into the store, dumped the steaks on the floor, ran back out to a car and fled the scene. When Dayton police officers arrived, the store received a call from the 73-year-old female driver asking why someone was taking a picture of her car as she left. The officer told the woman her grandson was trying to steal from the store. She told officers she took off because her grandson told her the people in the store were trying to kill him. Originally published on May 26 by Charles Grove.

Even higher steaks

At a nearby grocery store, an officer was requested on a theft call. The security officer on site had a suspect “in custody for stealing steaks.” He told the officer “he observed [the suspect] in the rear of the store with a cart full of steaks.” Turns out the suspect confessed to stealing the steaks so he could sell them and turn a profit. By the numbers: The sevens steaks totaled to $69-worth of beef. Originally published on Nov. 24 by Amanda Dee.

What’s the beef?

Police were called to the scene of a late Thursday afternoon theft. When an officer arrived, he spoke to the manager, who said he had been walking down the aisle “that contains the meat sticks” and acknowledged a customer. After the manager returned to his office, the suspect stole $3-worth (or one stick) of Slim Jim, which the manager witnessed on the security camera in his office. This is the third case this summer involving beef sticks or jerky in some form. If you have an explanation for these crimes, please explain. Originally published on June 30 by Amanda Dee. 

There won’t be beef 

An officer was dispatched to another shoplifting incident in the area. This time, though, it was a family matter. A mom, dad and three kids—the youngest of which needed to be pushed in a stroller—entered the store at about 4 p.m. As caught on camera, the dad took some candy off the shelf and the middle child took an unknown item. After this, the mom shoved a bag of chips down the front of her shorts … before grabbing beef jerky sticks off the shelf. The oldest of the children then also took beef jerky off the shelf. The mom chatted with the employee, while the rest of her family vacated the premises—while signs of a serious hunger epidemic in the Dayton area did not. Originally published on July 21 by Amanda Dee. 

Beef to the punch

An officer was dispatched to a convenience store, where a man with a black backpack and a blue grocery bag walked in thinking no one would know what he was up to. The suspect walked through the store and “took an unknown amount of beef jerky,” which totaled to about $40. The beef thief proceeded to walk past all points

of purchase before fleeing on foot. “All of the beef jerky is now gone,” the employee lamented. Originally published on Nov. 3 by Amanda

Return of the beef thief

A beef thief struck again, but, this time, the stakes were higher. Grocery loss prevention officers watched a man shove beef down his pants and attempt to exit the store. When the officers confronted him and told him to return the 2-3 packs of ribeye steak totaling to $130, he resisted and managed to escape. However, the beef thief dropped an incriminating piece of evidence: his phone. And he was, unsurprisingly, caught. Originally published on August 25 by Amanda Dee. 

Jerking my chain 

At about 4 p.m., a woman entered a convenience store and walked straight toward the bathroom. “She was in there for a while,” according to the report. A man passed the time waiting for his turn by reading a magazine. Attentive to the lengthy bathroom break, an employee was watching her as she left the bathroom, picked up an energy drink—and two sticks of beef jerky—and bounced. To a man and a red mustang. When the employee approached them in their ride, she told the male driver what the woman had just done (though she denied it). The man returned the energy drink, and they drove off with their sticks of meat. Does not say when this section was published?

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at

Tags: , ,

Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Got an Opinion?


We are interested to hear what you think.  Please send us a message. [contact-form 4 “Opinion”]  

Springfield’s hidden gem


Referred to as an American Folk Art site, I didn’t know what I expected on my journey to Springfield’s Hartman […]

Debate 7/17: Flag on the Play


Q: Should persons with certain known behavioral tendencies such as suicide or violence be prohibited from owning guns? Legislatures across […]

Conspiracy Theorist 7/17: Hooray for Domino’s

Year after year, the same roads are torn up and road crews patch them. But they never really repair them. […]

On Your Marc 7/17: Good any day

First, a funny story. Larry Lee, the big tackle from Roth High School, for a number of reasons decided he […]

The Cult, Stone Temple Pilots, and Bush at Rose

CULT 2016 Tim Cadiente-2

“Rock and roll never forgets,” the classic rock song goes, and Billy Duffy, guitarist and founding member of the British […]