The Docket

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

Researched and reported by Charles Grove

Editor’s Choice: Saucy and stalk-y
After a night out at Club Masque, a group of friends found their car was broken into. Reportedly missing were a purse, wallet and other personal items. After being told to cancel the stolen credit cards, one of the males in the group found two Taco Bell sauce packets attached to the windshield wipers of the vehicle. The male, who is gay, thought this might be the work of his ex-boyfriend since the packets contained the phrases “Marry Me” and “Life’s short, keep it saucy.”

Dodgeball justice
Police responded to a school in East Dayton after two adults assaulted a student on his walk home from school. The young man said the fight started earlier that day when he threw a ball at another student while playing dodgeball in gym class. The boy he hit decided he didn’t like being “out” and retaliated with a punch. After school, two adults punched and choked the young man who threw the ball while the boy who was “out” watched from the bed of their pickup truck. The two men face assault charges.

One-handed bandit
A 28-year-old female called police after a drunken homeless man started banging on her front glass door, looking into the house and masturbating. After the woman’s kids got a glimpse of the unwelcome visitor, her boyfriend ran outside to confront the stranger, who came after the boyfriend with a knife. After a punch was thrown, the boyfriend made it inside and called police, who found the man a few blocks away, standing in the median of the road. After nearly hitting a passing car with his can of beer, the stranger was arrested on multiple charges.

That’s just not nice
Officers responded to a report of an assault at an apartment complex on Fotip Lane. An obviously drunken 32-year-old woman claimed she was attacked and wanted everyone at the scene to go to jail. Officers talked to all witnesses individually and determined no assault had actually taken place, so police asked her to leave. She would have none of it. The female got up inches away from the officer saying, “You can’t make me leave, nigga!” and spat on the cop. After police warned her she would be arrested, she yelled, “Make me, nigga!” It took four officers to detain and process her at the jail.

Sticks and stones …
Police responded to a call about a fight at a bar on Smithville Road. After arriving on the scene, police were told a fight happened in the men’s bathroom after one man attacked another patron and started punching him on the floor. A security guard broke up the fight and stated he did so without throwing any punches of his own. Officers spoke to the man throwing the punches, who was highly intoxicated. At first the man denied any wrongdoing but then, seconds later, said “I hit him because I don’t like him. I hit him because he’s ugly.” Officers then had to explain to the 34-year-old man how that wasn’t a good enough reason to assault someone.

What kind of contractor, exactly?
Officers responded to an assault on Illinois Avenue where police found a man with abrasions and no shirt screaming, “Fuck! Nigger!” After police calmed him down, officers discovered the man was upset his neighbor didn’t provide him with a contracting job he desired. Multiple witnesses said the man pulled out his penis in an attempt to antagonize his neighbor in the presence of children. Assault and public indecency charges were filed as a result.

That escalated quickly …
Police issued a woman a citation for playing loud music. Becoming increasingly uncooperative, the woman said she wished to speak with a sergeant. However, one of the officers issuing the ticket was, in fact, a sergeant, so the woman decided to call dispatch after the officers left the scene to voice her displeasure with her ticket. She told dispatch that she would, “Load up her gun and come down to the police station and ‘shoot that bitch up.’” After reviewing the call, which was recorded, she now faces criminal menacing charges in addition to the loud music citation.

Wait, what?
Police responded to a call on Xenia Avenue about an intoxicated person possibly shooting a gun. After finding a man matching the description but not finding a weapon, the man told police he had been shot at by the gunman. He also told police an argument had broken out between the gunman and his father, so the gunman went outside and shot a round into the air in frustration. The argument was over $5. The man who spoke to police wrote a witness statement, which read: “We all out here drinking. Then all of a sudden the dud and ma dad started arguin then dude start gettin loud and pulled out a gun and start walking down the street and started shooting in da air.” The man who was shot at wrote a report saying, in its entirety, “He shot hat me fod what that no.”

Reach DCP Docket Editor Charles Grove at

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Reach DCP Docket Editor Charles Grove at

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