The Docket 2/16/16

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

Probably not pooping 

By Amanda Dee

Officers were called to a convenience store. The call comments instructed the officers to “check for a [white male], [black] trench coat stole beer and is in bath room [sic] drinking the beer. Is still on seen [sic].” When officers arrived and knocked on the door, the suspect inside the bathroom told them he would be out soon. Minutes later, when they knocked again, he didn’t answer. Officers got the spare key from the store manager and opened the door to find the man sitting on the toilet, sloshed. This has reportedly been a “an issue in the past …”

The fast and the furious 70

A man in his mid-70s and his wife awoke the morning of the incident and looked out their window, which had a clear view of the parking lot where they park their truck. The woman had the keys. A little while later that same morning, the truck was nowhere to be found. The couple called officers because they had parked in the same spot for 30 years and had never been towed, and they called the tow company just to be extra certain and received a negative answer. According to the report, “The paint was peeling at the top and exposed the previous color of red under the blue paint.”

Rando boy with the stick in the Great Miami River

An officer was dispatched on a ‘chase,’ after a witness called the station to report a property damager. When the officer caught up with the witness and his two traveling counterparts, the three pointed toward the street the suspect was on. The witnesses explained to the officer that they had been walking, doing their own thing, when they came across the suspect “swinging a large stick” at an electric meter attached to a traffic signal control box. They called the police then yelled at the suspect that they did so—to which he responded by throwing his stick into the Great Miami River and walking away. The suspect denied he had beaten any electric meter with any stick thrown into any river.

Racist arrested for being racist

A woman by a public transit hub was “yelling racial slurs and being disrespectful,” according to the report. She “began yelling racial slurs and vulgarities at a volume so loud as to create a scene.” Officers told her multiple times to stop yelling and being racist, but she continued to yell and be racist. And it just so happens she was also already “indefinitely trespassed” from that location. Officers took her to jail.

 Checked out

The station received a call about the victim of a theft. While at the library, the victim pulled out his cellphone to make a call, which is a library faux pas and also when the suspect made his move: he grabbed the victim’s cellphone and took off because the suspect apparently didn’t have a very firm grip or didn’t see the suspect since he was “short and slender.” The cell phone was an iPhone 6 (ouch).

Live mas

A man left his iPhone on top of a toilet paper dispenser wheel in a fast food bathroom and made sure to wash his hands before getting his food and driving off. Two to three hours passed. The man realized he no longer had his phone. The man “traced steps back to Taco Bell,” where he had last had his phone. No phone to be found.

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!

A man received a package one afternoon. Upon opening the package, he discovered three iPhones. Since he didn’t order an iPhone, let alone three, he was suspect. But later that evening, a man in a hoodie and dark facial hair arrived at his house (never a good sign). The man with facial hair told the recipient of the phones that a package for his father was delivered to his house by mistake. The man told the hairy-faced man that he was calling the police, to which the suspect responded by getting off his property and entering a blue truck.

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at

Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

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