The Docket 2/23/16

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

by Amanda Dee

For the highest court

Officers met with the pastor who called in the crime. He observed that one of the doors of the church had been forced open. According to the report, “he believed he may have info of who broke in.” The pastor noticed footprints and wheel marks, which led him to the wheel chair usually located inside the church. This time, the pastor believes, the wheel chair was used for bad rather than good to transport the stolen TV and snow blower. (In this case, it may be wise to confess.) 

Passive aggression turned straight 

An officer was called on an account of vandalism. The victim told the officer she had been running errands in the afternoon and everything with her car was a-OK. A little while later, however, a neighbor told the victim it sounded like her tire was going flat. When the victim was changing her tire, she realized that not only was her tire punctured but someone had also cut deep scratches in the paint. That’s when “it became apparent to her that someone had intentionally damaged her car.” There were no initial suspects—except for some unidentified suspects: recently, the woman has had issues with people parking in her assigned parking spot and wrote notes asking them to please park somewhere else. (Despite the polite notes, some apparently don’t appreciate that approach of conflict management.)

Local pizza heroine thwarted 

A woman was on a pizza delivery run. As she was delivering one of the precious pizzas, the task of local heroes, the woman who answered the door asked if anyone else was with her… to which the delivery woman responded no. The woman said the car light was on—and it can only be on when one of the doors is open. Swerve: the suspect is not the woman. Two men lurked by the vehicle and a third “emerged” before they all took off running. The valiant heroine’s two cell phones, the pizza bag, which stores all the pizzas, and her “female wallet,” were all taken, according to the report.

Pepperoni players

The officer first made contact with the victim, a pizza driver who was freshly robbed by two teens at approximately 1 in the afternoon. The collateral was an order of dessert bread. When the pizza guy arrived at the house that allegedly called in a pizza, a woman answered, confused. She had not ordered pizza. Two male teens were lurking nearby. Feeling “suspicious,” the delivery guy brought the pizza back to the store. But that was not the last call. He was sent out on another pizza run—this time, he confirmed the order and the address again. But the teens were waiting for him. When an officer searched the scene of the robbery, he found the top of the dessert icing lying in the snow with footprints trailing away from the evidence. When the officer tracked back to the first order’s house, the woman who answered said her son in fact came in “very sweaty and excited with pizza”… The report valued the pizza and dessert bread at $20, but anyone drunk and praying for a pizza would testify otherwise.

Beer with me

When officers arrived to the convenience store of the crime, an employee informed them a male walked into the store and went right to the cooler, where he grabbed a beer to stick under his shirt. The employee informed them that the man was a regular who visits the store daily, though she didn’t know his name (which isn’t great service … ). She also managed to confront him and retrieve the $1-beer.


A man in a “dark knit cap with a visor” entered a bank and approached a teller at her window. She was the only person at the front of the building. When the man came up to her, he mumbled something about cold weather then pulled out a note. The note must have said something pretty bad because it led to the teller forking over “an undetermined amount of cash” to the man, who was wearing one glove on his left hand.

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at

Tags: , , ,

Amanda Dee
Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Got an Opinion?


We are interested to hear what you think.  Please send us a message.  

Oh my cod!


Something Rotten’s Bottom Brothers unseat Shakespeare Raising a toast! (Foreground L-R) Maggie Lakis, Josh Grisetti, Rob McClure, and Autumn Hurlbert. […]

A homestyle home run


The Bullpen Diner in Dot’s Market The Bullpen’s country fried steak, silver dollar potato pancakes, and eggs over easy. By […]

Don’t drink the green Kool-aid

Pickup from 122617 Dayton City Paper canstockphoto19090062

Forget the hype—true Irish beers are pure gold Skip the green beer, and go for the gold … or the […]

What to do in the Springs


Santa Fe Red by Sara Gray “Have You Red/Read It?” on display at The Village Artisans The Village Artisans gallery […]

Kansas resurrected


Classic Kansas Leftoverture LP live and more at Victoria Kansas (L-R) Rich Williams, Billy Greer, Zak Rizvi, Phil Ehart, Ronnie […]