The Docket: 4/12/16

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

By Amanda Dee

Jesus, take the wheel 

Two officers were dispatched to a grand theft auto in progress. When they contacted the complainant, she told them she works for a meals on wheels program and had parked her car in the alley nearby for a delivery. In the two minutes it took for her to bring the meal to someone in need and return, the car was gone. Among the stolen goods were hundreds of dollars, a cooler and two hot packs filled with meals. Shortly after arriving, (and perhaps after some divine intervention), officers found the wheels with all the meals and the money in a driveway near the alley. No witnesses were found. 

…And he still lives with his parents

A woman woke up at 10 p.m. on April Fool’s Day to a sick joke: Her car disappeared. She parked it on the public street in front of her residence and still had the keys. A sticker reading “country angler” marks the back window. Once the woman realized her car had been stolen, she called her children’s father. According to the report, she suspects him because of their “history.” When she asked him where he was, he refused to tell her. (This may have been the moment in the conversation when she asked him if he was still living at his parents’ house.)

The chair in the driveway with the candlestick

Officers were called to the scene of a criminal damaging case. The victim? A truck. The owner of the truck told officers he walked out to move his truck in the afternoon and saw a patio chair next to the driver’s side door that wasn’t there before. Then, he saw his driver’s side window was missing.  Then, “walking around trying to figure out where the chair came from,” he found the driver’s side window behind the apartment building by his house.  According to one of his neighbors, the chair had made it there from an 86-year-old woman’s yard. The driver reported whoever did this “knew his truck.”

Don’t step on the grass, Sam

When a man left for work in the morning, he also left his 5-year-old lawnmower locked and chained to his front porch. The security level was two bike locks attached to a metal rail. When he returned from work later that day, one of the bike locks hung from the rail, but the second lock and the mower were missing. Officers deduced that the suspect rolled the lawnmower out the front gate because “there was a pile of grass clippings near the gate.” Suspect is at large and possibly leaving a trail of grass as they go.

Pump the brakes 

A man was riding his bike along the sidewalk when another pedestrian entered his line of sight. This would normally not be a problem for the average biker, except for the fact that the biker did not have “a functional front brake on his bicycle.” According to the report, the biker “brushed the suspect as he went by him.” And according to the report, this didn’t bode well for the biker. The man he accidentally brushed against grabbed him and beat him up.


Officers were called on a violation of a restraining order. According to the complainant and the filer of the order, her “friend” came to visit—but the “friend” didn’t know her “host” had filed a restraining order against her. When officers arrived and tried to serve the order, the “friend” “was upset and surprised when she realized Maxwell had gone for a protection order,” according to the report.

Love thy neighbor

A woman was just living in her house when a “loud bang” disrupted her evening. When she investigated outside, she discovered cracks in her window, a rock on the ground and boys running away. One of those boys was “the neighbor’s child.” After the woman talked with the boy’s mother, the boy reported that someone else’s little brother broke the window. He also couldn’t provide last names or addresses for the other boys.

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at

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Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

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