The Docket

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

by Amanda Dee

 

The sweet escape
Two white men entered a convenience store and took approximately six bags of Snickers bites, six bags of Musketeer bites, one bag of Milky Way bites, six bags of Kit Kat bites, six bags of Twix bites, six bags of Milky Way minis, 12 bags of Life Savers gummies, four bags of Skittles, four bags of gummy Life Savers, one bag of Butterfinger minis, four bags of Butterfinger bites, one bag of Milky Way caramel bites, two bags of Rolo minis and two bags of green M&Ms. Without paying. The two suspects were apprehended pulling a blue, wheeled overnight bag and a red backpack stashed with the good stuff. A total of $200-worth of candy.

The Axe effect
An officer was dispatched to a convenience store where a man in a black leather jacket had “just now left with Axe body spray on foot.” When the officer went to investigate the security footage, it showed the man pulling items from the shelves and putting them into his pockets. The store manager said she confirmed the items were Axe products. (I guess he had to make the girls go wild some way.)

Existential crisis
An officer stopped a vehicle for failing to signal before turning. When he approached the vehicle, the driver said he didn’t have his driver’s license on him but gave his “name.” The man recited the name and the corresponding social security number “with scary accuracy.” The officer reported, “In my experience as an officer, it is my duty to make sure the person I’m going to site [sic] for a traffic infraction is that actual person.” So, when the scarily accurate social security number matched up with the name but not the height, he had some questions. He asked some of those questions—like, “Is this man really who he says he is?”—to some of the contacts on the man’s phone. He called the man’s girlfriend, who also gave the same name the man gave, that is until the officer said she shouldn’t lie. She apologized for lying, but the man continued with his original story. (The man was arrested.)

Mooooomm
A man reported an assault in his apartment. The assaulter, the man’s roommate, and the man apparently started arguing, which led to the roommate’s physical attack. When the officer asked why the argument started, the man said he didn’t remember. But he did remember getting mad at the roommate. (According to the report, “[The man] was intoxicated.”) When the officer asked how the man received the injuries under his eyes, the man said he didn’t remember—but it was probably his roommate’s fault.

But I’m clean
At approximately 3 p.m. on a weekday, officers were dispatched to a convenience store on a theft call. One of the officers reported rave reviews on the video: “The store had great video surveillance footage of the suspect.” The camera caught the man—wearing a camo baseball cap—walking into the store. He then walked to an aisle and started filling a bag he was storing in his pants with items. The male then hopped onto a blue bike and rode away with a bag full of soap and deodorant. The officers tracked the suspect down fairly quickly, as they were travelling by car and he was travelling by bike. When they stopped the suspect and handcuffed him, he freaked out. This led to a chase and a discovery. Neighbors reported that the man “is often walking around with weird items like soap and attempts to sell it to people on the street.”

Love thy neighbor
A man invited his neighbors from the apartment above his over at about 9:00 one evening “to drink Bud Light with him.” When he awoke the next day, his TV, his camera and $80 were no longer in the apartment. He could only minimally describe the TV and camera, mostly saying they were black. He suspects the neighbors robbed him while they were in his apartment on the occasion to drink Bud Light. He could only describe the neighbors as two white males and one white female. When officers knocked on the suspects’ apartment door, no one answered. (The man now probably spends sleepless nights wondering if he should have offered Miller.)

Reach DCP freelance writer Amanda Dee at AmandaDee@DaytonCityPaper.com.

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Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at editor@DaytonCityPaper.com.

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