The Docket: 5/10/16

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim

By Amanda Dee

Dayton bro talk 

A hetero couple was working the same shift  at the store where they both work. While their home was unguarded save the couple’s “130 pound American bulldog who they let roam the house when they leave,” someone claimed fan-favorites “Poltergeist,” “Avengers,” “Fast and Furious 7,” “Assassin’s Creed” and black Nike sandals. They suspect the man’s brother because he’s the only one who knows they work the same shift. Also because they said their bulldog was locked up in its cage and would definitely have bitten a stranger, but not a brother. (According to the report, the officers witnessed the dog’s 130-pound weight and vicious behavior towards strangers.)

Love thy neighbor 

A couple called the police on their neighbor. Although the couple did not witness the reported incident, their other neighbors did. One of the couple’s neighbors had been backing into their garage when the first neighbor asked her for a jump for his car. The woman called in her husband to help him, but when the man pushed his car out of his own garage, it rolled into the couple’s garage. (The couple had replaced their garage door earlier this year. They also stated they’ve had “several incidents” with their neighbor in the past.)

Breaking up is hard to do 

When a woman arrived to her place of work, she stumbled upon a surprise. Someone had vandalized her storefront. The method of attack? “Threw rock at the front door glass.” The woman and her co-owner suspect the rock-wielder to be their ex-boss, who was devastated when the two quit and started something on their own. They also suspect their ex-boss because she’s lashed out like this before.


A man called in a theft. When an officer arrived to the scene, he was taken to the scene of the crime: the freezer. When the man went to grab a frozen pizza to make for dinner, there was no pizza to grab. The freezer was on the back porch and was protected by a lock, but that did not prevent the suspect from stealing all of its contents: “There was everything from frozen venison, steaks, fish, pizzas and several other items.” The frozen food totaled to more than $300.

You’re a jerky one…

A convenience store manager had witnessed a white man visit the store several times. (The first cause for suspicion.) This time, security footage shows the white man walked in wearing a brown coat. He meandered near the front counter and grabbed a box. He placed the box underneath his coat and walked out of the store. The box was filed with $25-worth of jerky.

Black and white

On camera, a neighbor caught a man swiping two wicker chairs and a “2-foot by 1.5-foot black and white cement zebra” from a woman’s porch. The property was valued at $400, but the emotional costs have yet to be totaled.


A white man walked into a store, took a $20 pair of polarized sunglasses and walked out the door. The loss prevention officer stopped the man outside the store and said, “Don’t make me call the cops. I just want the glasses back.” The man just started to walk away, without saying anything. The officer told him again he needed the sunglasses back, to which the man responded by tearing off the price tag, throwing it to the ground and walking away. Without saying a word.

Loose brisket

A grocery store employee reported a bearded “uncooperative white male” donned in a blue bandana, purple coat and green sweatpants. The security officer on duty noticed the “uncooperative white male” walking through the store “placing pre-wrapped meats behind his jacket.” When the officer apprehended these meats, he discovered two beef briskets—as well as a bottle of Kamchatka. However, there was a third brisket.  The suspect struggled with this brisket, which kept slipping from under his purple coat. Since the suspect may have potentially contaminated the brisket and vodka, all the items were voided. (Your brisket and vodka are clean.)


The victim was at the club when “an altercation broke out inside the club causing everyone to run out.” In the chaos, the suspect stole the victim’s wallet. After the incident, the new owner’s first charge was for McDonald’s.

Reach DCP Associate Editor Amanda Dee at

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Reach DCP Editor Amanda Dee at

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