Short relationships, long fights

A woman and her ex-boyfriend decided they needed to meet and discuss their breakup. The woman decided to bring along their mutual friend, Tequila (a person, not a beverage) for moral support. The three met at in a parking lot, so if there was trouble it would be public. The conversation quickly devolved into trouble. Tequila attempted to intervene in the fight, pulling the woman and the ex-boyfriend off of each other. This startled the ex-boyfriend, and he swung his arm around, striking the woman in the face. The woman, in turn, struck him back. The ex-boyfriend fled the scene and drove away. The woman also left the scene, and filed a police report. When she called a police officer and told him that she and her friend Tequila had just been in a fight with her ex, police were surprised to discover the woman was sober.

Why do they always run?

A man went into a convenience store and stole some beer. The cashier couldn’t move from her position, so she watched him leave with the beer and called police for help. The police discovered the man’s identity from the store’s surveillance tape and went to his residence. When they arrived, they requested that the man come outside and speak to them. The man instead decided to lock his door and curse at the officers. The first officer requested the second officer cover the back door of the residence. When the second officer got to the back of the house, he discovered the perpetrator trying to escape. The officer took the man down by force and handcuffed him. The first officer saw the second coming around the back of the house with the accused, and assisted him in transporting the perp back to the station.

Have a good day

A clerk was working at a drive-thru when a woman drove through with her kids. She ordered something and then pulled her car up to the window. The clerk told the woman to “have a good day,” which struck her the wrong way. The woman pulled through the drive-thru and stopped in the parking lot. She exited her vehicle and started yelling at the employee. The employee apologized for any miscommunication, but the woman didn’t accept the apology. After some time, an older woman drove into the parking lot and started yelling at the employee, too. The employee assumed it was the woman’s mother. He told them both to leave because he was calling the police. Next time, he would have to use a different phrase after handing people their orders.

Car troubles

A woman discovered her car had been broken into. She noticed some wires loose and thought maybe someone tried to hot-wire her car. She pulled her car back into a nearby alley to protect it, and looked inside for any clues before she called the police. That’s when she found a cellphone. She thought this must’ve been the perpetrator’s phone, but then she realized that this was a relative’s phone. That’s when she remembered the same relative asking suspicious questions about her car the week before.

When a friend becomes more

A man drove to his friend’s house to hang out. After some time, the man said he had to leave and return home to his husband. The friend became angered by this announcement and struck the man’s face. The man fled from his friend’s house after the fight and went home. About 10 minutes after the fight, the man heard a noise outside, looked out his window, and saw his friend throwing an unknown object at his husband’s car. The man called police, and when they arrived, they noticed the friend had been drinking. They got to the bottom of the situation when the man divulged that he was having an affair with his “friend,” which is why his other friend lashed out. He didn’t want to press charges against his friend; he was just concerned about his husband’s car being damaged.

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Reach DCP freelance writer Ehron Ostendorf at

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