Steal anything

At a local auto-parts store, a car radio was shoplifted. The thief suspiciously perused through the aisles and took a car radio valued at $150. The cashier and one of the part owners of the store attempted to jump the counter to catch him. The man had brown, buzzed hair and was wearing jean shorts (commonly known to the youth of today as “jorts”) and a red shirt. The man left the store on foot going east. And the thief could play himself right out.

Trouble’s brewing

Last week, at a local café, a robbery took place. The complainant states that his bike was stolen around noon while he was inside eating a pastry he purchased just moments before the robbery occurred. The robber was standing outside the shop, right around the corner, staring at his phone. The complainant had placed his bike against the bike rack and left it unlocked since it was in plain view. The robber waited only a few short minutes before executing his attack. The robber grabbed the bike and sped away out of sight. The police are on the lookout for this speedster, but he must have been fueled by some strong caffeine that morning.

Flip a coin

A couple entered a pawn shop a few days ago to browse the vast selection of coins and records in the shop. The woman was pregnant but left after spending a few moments in the shop. The man continued his search until he found his prey. The man selected various coins and asked the manager if he could put down a deposit on the items to later be stored for layaway until he could complete the rest of the payment. The manager left the counter and the items to go to the back to get the paperwork. The man grabbed the items from the counter and ran out the door. None of the items have been located at this time by the police, but this man really put his faith into this coin toss—one worth over $200.

The grass ain’t always greener

The pastor of a local church called the authorities to inform them that two of its lawnmowers are now missing in action. The perp, an unidentifiable large male, used a blue work style van with “B.A.M” smacked on the rear panel of the vehicle. “B.A.M”—though it does sound like an R.E.M cover band—is the main clue that could be used to catch the suspect. Noticeably, there was also damage to the fencing that was used to secure the storage unit near the church. (Though there may not be grass where this robber is going…)

Mr. Clean

A student at a local high school contacted the authorities when she noticed her new black wallet and her purse had been taken from her car. The student and her sister had been walking around the track at their local high school when they noticed a large man in his mid-30s near the vehicle. The suspect had only one defining quality: he wore a blue jacket. When the two students saw the vehicle from the track they noticed the man was cleaning the whole car—not just the window—with Windex. The authorities are on the lookout for this squeaky clean robber.

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Reach Dayton City Paper freelance writer Michelle Strauss at

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