Regional police blotters, reported and interpreted

by Ehron Ostendorf

A dog for a drug?

A woman called a breaking and entering in her house. She stated her screen window was popped open and someone snuck in. Several items were taken from the house. She claimed it was her son because she had caught him stealing before. She also said he was usually strung out on crystal meth and found used drug bags on her couch to support that it might be her son. She said her son had even been caught trying to sell their dog on Facebook to get drug money…

Garfield without lasagna 

A woman reported someone breaking into her car. When officers arrived, they gathered the information. The caller said she believed she locked her car door, but wasn’t certain on that. The items stolen were about a dollar in change and a checkbook. The checkbook was reported to have been branded with Garfield. Without more information, it’s most likely the cat, not the president. The officers told the victim to double-check her bank and lock it so no money disappears from it. It looks like this caller is probably as cranky as Garfield is on a diet.

The crazy ex

The crime? Menacing. The victim made the call, complaining her ex was threatening her. The ex was only three hours out of jail before he came to her place to grab some of his clothes. She demanded he leave afterward. He responded with anger by saying he would kill her and burn the house down. He punched a window and damaged the front door as he left. She claimed he had returned later in the backyard with a gas can. Although no gas can was recovered, this victim was clearly rattled, and rightly so. Officers have a warrant out for the man. As many people know, exes can sometimes lose their cool, as well as their minds. Good luck on this one, girl!

Wounded warrior

An assault took place in a residence. The officer dispatched arrived to gather the story. She met with the victim and his niece. The niece made the call and said that a young man came over and started arguing with the victim’s nephew. A friend, or a lover’s quarrel? We may never know because the victim stepped in to calm down the situation. That’s when the accused hit the victim for interfering. The victim is a disabled veteran, so he ended up falling to the ground and couldn’t shake off the accused. The niece ended up trying to pull the accused off of her uncle, and he fled. The accused may need a smack down to learn more respect for his elder, as well as a wounded veteran.

Meddling kids

A complainant made a call to report vandalism. She recounted that after a relaxing morning in church, she came back to her home in disarray. She saw a couple delinquent boys run from her backyard. Upon inspection, she found her flowerpots smashed and solar lights broken. She said her grandsons know who the perpetrators are. The officer followed up and contacted the parents of the accused. The accused denied the charges, clearly. Next time, the victim may invest in a “get off my lawn” sign due to her recent experience.

Crash and almost burn

A car was stolen from a grocery. The complainant said her car was stolen when she went into the market with her children for food. She left the car running — it was newer and uses a key fob, so she removed the fob and brought it with her. Someone ended up hijacking the car. The officer investigating asked the victim if she had it on her, and she did not. It must’ve been swiped right from under her nose. The car turned up smashed in a wreck (the perpetrator must’ve been intoxicated to have the audacity to one, steal a car and two, not know how to drive it). The accused may have crashed the car, but at least it didn’t catch fire?

Reach DCP freelance writer Ehron Ostendorf at


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Reach DCP freelance writer Ehron Ostendorf at

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