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Ha! See if this is the tag line for you

This is the little bio line for another harsh, conservative opinion column masquerading as legitimate commentary on the front of FoxNews’ page: Michael Goodwin is a Fox News contributor and New York Post columnist. To continue reading his column on other topics, including Sarah Palin, click here. Yeah.  Can’t f-ing wait to check out his […]

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FoxNews test of objectivity – replace “Obama” with “Reagan”

Fair and balanced huh?  A lot of you don’t know this, but the only reason Obama ordered the bin Laden hit was to garner political capital.  Oh yeah, political capital that was actually stolen from the years and years of groundwork GW Bush did in…Iraq.  Listen, I know a lot about not being objective.  I’ve […]

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Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome

This one’s for the ladies.  Appendix A Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome is defined (by me) as a hateful, cyclical set of self-defeating, empty relationship skills that inevitably result in the sufferer whining to their emotionally stable and normal friends about how they always seem to end up dating douchebags.  It works something like this: A semi-naive […]

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Security Guard Stories pt. 1

I don’t know why comedians works so hard to pull new material out of their butts.  As near as a I can tell, the funniest stuff in the universe is already being played out every day by collections of moderately-to-severely disturbed/bitter/hateful/annoying/sociopathic troves of pure comedy genius roaming the face of the planet completely unaware of their super […]

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God the Father?

This has been bugging me for a long time, and I’ve only recently been able to put my finger on it.  I’ve got a really good friend who’s mom is turbo Christian.  Like, ridiculously Christian.  She’s one of those Christians who always seems to find a way in every single conversation to kick over some […]

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Why people get hit

Hi. I’ve decided to start a new thread dealing with what stupid things we’ve all done that had absolutely no need to happen other than our own personal stupidity. Ideally, someone gave you a smack, but it’s OK if you just jacked up your car or destroyed your house. Please add on as you see […]

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Tea Party whining begins somehow not unexpectedly.

Tea Partiers have gotten exactly what they should have expected from a candidate who runs on the platform of whining about Washington without having any actionable ideas.  Marco Rubio actually wrote on his blog:  “I did not come to the U.S. Senate to be part of some absurd political theatre.”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….. HAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! WHAT […]

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My wife and Chinchillas

Early on in our relationship it became very clear that my wife had an absurd love of animals.  And worms.  And rocks that we had become familiar with.  And mold that reminded her of something.  Basically anything that could be even remotely construed as a “pet.”  This comes from her upbringing in a house where […]

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Communication Skills 1 – How to run people off the road who suck

Humans seem to have this ridiculous notion that we are a chosen species that fell out of the sky in a perfectly designed, conceptually ideal construction, and ever since that time we have lived in villages and cities with Starbucks, blacksmiths, and community centers which have remained essentially unchanged since the dawn of our creation. […]

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Hmm. Who doesn’t belong?

Headlines today, 3/1/11 CNN: The facts vs. Moammar Gadhafi BBC: Refugee crisis on Libya’s west border MSNBC: As clashes flare, Iranian security forces fire tear gas at protesters NPR: Libya Risks Slide Into ‘Protracted Civil War,’ U.S. Says New York Times:Powerful Cleric Joins Protest to Urge Islamic Rule in Yemen Washington Post: Rebels hold off […]

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News of the weird: 12/16

By Chuck Shepherd Dying to get a date Like many in society’s subgroups, people who work in “death” industries or […]

Advice Goddess: 12/16

By Amy Alkon American idle My girlfriend is beautiful, highly intelligent and interesting. She’s smart for a living (as a […]

The Docket: 12/9

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove Photo: The Miamisburg Community Holiday Event […]

Jingle ’Burg

Miamisburg Holiday Parade returns By CC Hutten Photo: The Miamisburg Community Holiday Event and Parade begins at 11:30 a.m. on […]

Advice Goddess: 12/9

By Amy Alkon Belittle Richard My girlfriend says she likes that I’m smart but says I can be “on” too […]

News of the weird: 12/9

By Chuck Shepherd Lead Story – TMI Kansas lawyer Dennis Hawver was disbarred in November for his comically bad (24 […]