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First to use DVDA in print…Awesome.

For those of you who read my debate forum column on the economy recently, you probably noticed that I referenced the Tea Party and DVDA in the same sentence.  Here’s the exact quote: “Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and forward a political philosophy which has been sorely lacking since this […]

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Old Lady Get’s Shoved, and the Universe Thinks it’s Justified

I’m back from Spain and I’m jetlagged like crazy.  Newark bumped us from our flight home on Wednesday night and made up take a 7 AM flight, thus robbing us of the opportunity to sleep off most of it.  Newark can suck my balls, by the way.  First off, it’s a {s-t} town in a […]

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Security Guard Stories pt. 2

The following is an email sent to my brother and various other close friends in regards to ridiculous people I used to know.  Certain names and places have been altered because I don’t ever, ever want to have any contact with most of the people in this story.  Ever. Hello.  This email pertains to a […]

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Ha! See if this is the tag line for you

This is the little bio line for another harsh, conservative opinion column masquerading as legitimate commentary on the front of FoxNews’ page: Michael Goodwin is a Fox News contributor and New York Post columnist. To continue reading his column on other topics, including Sarah Palin, click here. Yeah.  Can’t f-ing wait to check out his […]

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FoxNews test of objectivity – replace “Obama” with “Reagan”

Fair and balanced huh?  A lot of you don’t know this, but the only reason Obama ordered the bin Laden hit was to garner political capital.  Oh yeah, political capital that was actually stolen from the years and years of groundwork GW Bush did in…Iraq.  Listen, I know a lot about not being objective.  I’ve […]

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Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome

This one’s for the ladies.  Appendix A Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome is defined (by me) as a hateful, cyclical set of self-defeating, empty relationship skills that inevitably result in the sufferer whining to their emotionally stable and normal friends about how they always seem to end up dating douchebags.  It works something like this: A semi-naive […]

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Security Guard Stories pt. 1

I don’t know why comedians works so hard to pull new material out of their butts.  As near as a I can tell, the funniest stuff in the universe is already being played out every day by collections of moderately-to-severely disturbed/bitter/hateful/annoying/sociopathic troves of pure comedy genius roaming the face of the planet completely unaware of their super […]

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God the Father?

This has been bugging me for a long time, and I’ve only recently been able to put my finger on it.  I’ve got a really good friend who’s mom is turbo Christian.  Like, ridiculously Christian.  She’s one of those Christians who always seems to find a way in every single conversation to kick over some […]

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Why people get hit

Hi. I’ve decided to start a new thread dealing with what stupid things we’ve all done that had absolutely no need to happen other than our own personal stupidity. Ideally, someone gave you a smack, but it’s OK if you just jacked up your car or destroyed your house. Please add on as you see […]

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Tea Party whining begins somehow not unexpectedly.

Tea Partiers have gotten exactly what they should have expected from a candidate who runs on the platform of whining about Washington without having any actionable ideas.  Marco Rubio actually wrote on his blog:  “I did not come to the U.S. Senate to be part of some absurd political theatre.”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….. HAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! WHAT […]

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News of the weird: 05/19

By Chuck Shepherd Lead Story – Donating for dollars Already, healthy people can donate blood, sperm and eggs, but now […]

Advice Goddess: 5/19

By Amy Alkon All the single m’ladies I read your manners book and loved it. I just feel that for […]

Chew on this: 05/19

What to believe about coconut oil claims By Jayne Powers Coconuts are on a roll as a wonder food. I […]

The Docket: 05/19

Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim By Researched and reported by Charles Grove D’oh! The owner of a Dayton bar contacted […]

News of the weird: 05/12

By Chuck Shepherd Marital enhancement Saudi Arabia’s very first sex accessory shop (in the holy city of Mecca) should be […]

Chew on this: 05/12

Weight loss for pudgy pets By Jayne Powers Pets, like people, get pudgy – even obese. According to the Association […]