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FoxNews test of objectivity – replace “Obama” with “Reagan”

Fair and balanced huh?  A lot of you don’t know this, but the only reason Obama ordered the bin Laden hit was to garner political capital.  Oh yeah, political capital that was actually stolen from the years and years of groundwork GW Bush did in…Iraq.  Listen, I know a lot about not being objective.  I’ve […]

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Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome

This one’s for the ladies.  Appendix A Perpetual Douchebag Syndrome is defined (by me) as a hateful, cyclical set of self-defeating, empty relationship skills that inevitably result in the sufferer whining to their emotionally stable and normal friends about how they always seem to end up dating douchebags.  It works something like this: A semi-naive […]

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Security Guard Stories pt. 1

I don’t know why comedians works so hard to pull new material out of their butts.  As near as a I can tell, the funniest stuff in the universe is already being played out every day by collections of moderately-to-severely disturbed/bitter/hateful/annoying/sociopathic troves of pure comedy genius roaming the face of the planet completely unaware of their super […]

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God the Father?

This has been bugging me for a long time, and I’ve only recently been able to put my finger on it.  I’ve got a really good friend who’s mom is turbo Christian.  Like, ridiculously Christian.  She’s one of those Christians who always seems to find a way in every single conversation to kick over some […]

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Why people get hit

Hi. I’ve decided to start a new thread dealing with what stupid things we’ve all done that had absolutely no need to happen other than our own personal stupidity. Ideally, someone gave you a smack, but it’s OK if you just jacked up your car or destroyed your house. Please add on as you see […]

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Tea Party whining begins somehow not unexpectedly.

Tea Partiers have gotten exactly what they should have expected from a candidate who runs on the platform of whining about Washington without having any actionable ideas.  Marco Rubio actually wrote on his blog:  “I did not come to the U.S. Senate to be part of some absurd political theatre.”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….. HAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! WHAT […]

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My wife and Chinchillas

Early on in our relationship it became very clear that my wife had an absurd love of animals.  And worms.  And rocks that we had become familiar with.  And mold that reminded her of something.  Basically anything that could be even remotely construed as a “pet.”  This comes from her upbringing in a house where […]

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Communication Skills 1 – How to run people off the road who suck

Humans seem to have this ridiculous notion that we are a chosen species that fell out of the sky in a perfectly designed, conceptually ideal construction, and ever since that time we have lived in villages and cities with Starbucks, blacksmiths, and community centers which have remained essentially unchanged since the dawn of our creation. […]

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Hmm. Who doesn’t belong?

Headlines today, 3/1/11 CNN: The facts vs. Moammar Gadhafi BBC: Refugee crisis on Libya’s west border MSNBC: As clashes flare, Iranian security forces fire tear gas at protesters NPR: Libya Risks Slide Into ‘Protracted Civil War,’ U.S. Says New York Times:Powerful Cleric Joins Protest to Urge Islamic Rule in Yemen Washington Post: Rebels hold off […]

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Sylvester Stallone Can’t Fight

I read an interesting story recently about former #1 Heavyweight contender Earnie Shavers.  Apparently, when Stallone was casting for Rocky III he was considering, among other people, Earnie Shavers for the role of Clubber Lang.  Now, a lot of people don’t know this but Stallone used to consider himself quite a boxer in his early years, which is obviously where he […]

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Communication Skills part 2 (part 1 pending)

I have serious issues with people who don’t listen to what other people say.  Perhaps you can relate to this, because I deal with it on a daily basis and it pisses me off.  Here’s the thing.  When I open my mouth and speak, it’s because I’ve edited those thoughts and hand-selected the ones which […]

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Fast Food and Vampires

For the past 40 days, I haven’t eaten any fast food.  No Burger King, Taco Bell, or even Chik Fil A.  Especially Chik Fil A, because any company that maintains that there are grounds for a faith-based initiative in the business of selling deep fried chicken patties clearly needs to take its head out of it’s tail feathers.  […]

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FoxNews:Bare and Phallanced

No I’m  not backing off of that, that’s what they do to the news.  I spent a little time on FoxNews this morning because I like to read opinions I won’t necessarily agree with, and in case anyone is worried about reading future work of mine, don’t.  I put condoms on my finger tips, and […]

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Omar Sharif on Egypt

Howdy everyone.  I found this on bbcnews.com and I thought it was very interesting.  Omar Sharif gives a fairly level-headed assessment of what’s going on in Egypt, and it shows how attractive a panorama of Egypt can be if you have the money to buy a place near the Nile.  I was planning a trip […]

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QR Codes

You may have noticed numerous interesting looking square boxes with geometric shapes within it. These “QR” codes are scannable by your smart phone provided that you already have the app to perform the task. If you have a smart phone but you don’t have the app yet, make sure to read next week’s edition on […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

L&D

Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

L&D

Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

L&D

Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]