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Advice Goddess: 8/25

By Amy Alkon   A Force To Be Reckoned Whiff  My new boyfriend travels a lot for work. Before he left on this trip, he gave me his weird onesie lounging garment. It’s this disturbing “As Seen On TV” thing called a Forever Lazy. It’s like a fleece blanket, but with legs, a hood and […]

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Advice Goddess: 8/18

By Amy Alkon   Mourning Breath I was engaged to a woman 20 years ago. We were in college and in our mid-20s. I realized that I wasn’t ready to get married and called off the engagement. I loved her and wanted to stay with her, but she broke off the relationship. I’ve had relationships since […]

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Advice Goddess: 08/04

By Amy Alkon   Requiem For A Scream I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship with a really great guy. The problem is, it started as a hookup, and I faked my orgasm. I didn’t announce I was having one, but I, um, made certain noises. I was enjoying myself, but I just didn’t feel […]

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Advice Goddess: 7/28

By Amy Alkon   Emotion Sickness Last week, my girlfriend was all annoyed about something (something relatively unimportant). I’m normally not a bad listener, but I was getting stressed out just hearing about this. I blurted out, “Calm down!” and she really flipped, yelling, “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” It took me forever (and […]

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Advice Goddess: 7/14

By Amy Alkon   Beyond Thunderdomes I have a great circle of female friends, but one of “the group” has a way of making backhanded comments about my appearance that make me feel bad about myself. Her latest topic is my breasts and how much smaller they are than hers. Incredibly, she manages to work […]

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Advice Goddess: 7/7

By Amy Alkon Dork Matter  I’m just out of a bad relationship and ready to start dating. I recently met a guy I liked at the mall. There was definitely a physical attraction, and we had a lot in common, but not an hour after we met, he sent me a text that said, “Miss […]

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Advice Goddess: 6/30

By Amy Alkon   Owe, Baby, Baby My girlfriend always cries that she’s “broke.” I just ended up buying her groceries and paying to have her car fixed, and then I discovered by accident that she’d recently paid hundreds of dollars for hair extensions, beauty products and a facial. She isn’t the first girlfriend I’ve […]

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Advice Goddess: 6/23

By Amy Alkon Rise And Spine My fiancé is good friends with his ex-girlfriend from college. (We’re all in our 30s.) She isn’t a romantic threat, but she’s become a source of stress. Long before I met my boyfriend, they began hanging out at a local bar together twice a week. They still do this, […]

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Advice Goddess: 6/9

By Amy Alkon The Shoo Must Go On I’ve been dating this guy long-distance for six months. He’ll often fail to return texts for an entire day or even a few days. I keep breaking up with him, but he keeps apologizing, acknowledging that he can be “distracted” and then offering convincing excuses or making […]

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Advice Goddess: 5/27

By Amy Alkon Smells Like Bean Spirit My girlfriend of a year is 51 and lovely in most areas – except one: She often passes gas and recently started belching audibly. She is a psychotherapist, dresses nicely and has great figure. However, she grew up in a male-dominated, military home. She thinks I’m “weird” and […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/15

The Docket

Slash and dash Taking the overused and overdone tactic of the “dine and dash” to a whole new level… a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/8

L&D

On the run from a BB gun At a local historical park just a few days ago, a large truck was […]

Law & Disorder The Docket: 7/11

L&D

Steal anything At a local auto-parts store, a car radio was shoplifted. The thief suspiciously perused through the aisles and […]

The Docket: 7/4

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By Michelle Strauss Pissed off Just a few weeks ago, someone broke into a local residence. The trespasser-turned-burglar began his raid, […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 6/27

A game of telephone Last week, on a particularly scorching hot afternoon, a man was driving his ex-girlfriend home. The […]