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Advice Goddess

Nose To The Groin Stone I’m a woman, and I recently made a new professional connection – a man who’s excited about my work. We’re planning on doing a big important project together. I’m worried that he’s interested in me romantically (based on a few things he’s said). I’m not interested in him in that […]

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Advice Goddess: 12/5

Destiny’s Problem Child I saw this gorgeous girl at the coffeehouse at the mall two months ago. It was totally love at first sight. I keep hanging out there hoping to see her again. Am I nuts, or does love at first sight really exist?  -Smitten It’s so special when a man tells a woman […]

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Advice Goddess: 11/28

A Good Man Is Hard To Fund  I’m a 35-year-old woman. I’m living with my boyfriend, who’s a freelance artist (talented but just getting started). We’ve been together for three years, and I am paying for pretty much everything. I don’t feel resentful. I feel like we’re a team and eventually his career will take […]

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Advice Goddess: 11/21

Wedding Duress  I’ve been living with my high-school sweetheart (from 20 years ago) for two blissful years. However, he’s still married to his ex (though they’ve been separated for 10 years). Every dollar he has goes into the business he’s building or child support, so I’m paying all the bills. I want to get married […]

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Advice Goddess: 11/14

Reign Of Terrier I know humans are typically your subject, but this is a relationship question, so I hope you’ll consider answering it. I have a new puppy (an 8-pound terrier mutt). I eventually want her to sleep in bed with me. However, she’s not toilet-trained yet, so I “crate” her at night in the […]

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Advice Goddess: 11/7

Romancing The Grindstone I’m a 32-year-old woman with a really intense job that I love. I work long hours every week, and I often work weekends, too – by choice. I don’t want kids, but I’d love to have a relationship. I just worry that guys will want more of me timewise and energywise than […]

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Advice Goddess: 8/25

By Amy Alkon   A Force To Be Reckoned Whiff  My new boyfriend travels a lot for work. Before he left on this trip, he gave me his weird onesie lounging garment. It’s this disturbing “As Seen On TV” thing called a Forever Lazy. It’s like a fleece blanket, but with legs, a hood and […]

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Advice Goddess: 8/18

By Amy Alkon   Mourning Breath I was engaged to a woman 20 years ago. We were in college and in our mid-20s. I realized that I wasn’t ready to get married and called off the engagement. I loved her and wanted to stay with her, but she broke off the relationship. I’ve had relationships since […]

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Advice Goddess: 08/04

By Amy Alkon   Requiem For A Scream I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship with a really great guy. The problem is, it started as a hookup, and I faked my orgasm. I didn’t announce I was having one, but I, um, made certain noises. I was enjoying myself, but I just didn’t feel […]

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Advice Goddess: 7/28

By Amy Alkon   Emotion Sickness Last week, my girlfriend was all annoyed about something (something relatively unimportant). I’m normally not a bad listener, but I was getting stressed out just hearing about this. I blurted out, “Calm down!” and she really flipped, yelling, “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” It took me forever (and […]

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Advice Goddess: 7/14

By Amy Alkon   Beyond Thunderdomes I have a great circle of female friends, but one of “the group” has a way of making backhanded comments about my appearance that make me feel bad about myself. Her latest topic is my breasts and how much smaller they are than hers. Incredibly, she manages to work […]

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Advice Goddess: 7/7

By Amy Alkon Dork Matter  I’m just out of a bad relationship and ready to start dating. I recently met a guy I liked at the mall. There was definitely a physical attraction, and we had a lot in common, but not an hour after we met, he sent me a text that said, “Miss […]

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Advice Goddess: 6/30

By Amy Alkon   Owe, Baby, Baby My girlfriend always cries that she’s “broke.” I just ended up buying her groceries and paying to have her car fixed, and then I discovered by accident that she’d recently paid hundreds of dollars for hair extensions, beauty products and a facial. She isn’t the first girlfriend I’ve […]

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Advice Goddess: 6/23

By Amy Alkon Rise And Spine My fiancé is good friends with his ex-girlfriend from college. (We’re all in our 30s.) She isn’t a romantic threat, but she’s become a source of stress. Long before I met my boyfriend, they began hanging out at a local bar together twice a week. They still do this, […]

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Advice Goddess: 6/9

By Amy Alkon The Shoo Must Go On I’ve been dating this guy long-distance for six months. He’ll often fail to return texts for an entire day or even a few days. I keep breaking up with him, but he keeps apologizing, acknowledging that he can be “distracted” and then offering convincing excuses or making […]

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Advice Goddess: 5/27

By Amy Alkon Smells Like Bean Spirit My girlfriend of a year is 51 and lovely in most areas – except one: She often passes gas and recently started belching audibly. She is a psychotherapist, dresses nicely and has great figure. However, she grew up in a male-dominated, military home. She thinks I’m “weird” and […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

L&D

Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

L&D

Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

L&D

Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]