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Advice Goddess: 5/19

By Amy Alkon All the single m’ladies I read your manners book and loved it. I just feel that for most men, chivalry is dead. Maybe feminism killed it, and maybe men have just gotten lazy. Well, I was staying over at a (platonic) male friend’s house, keeping him company because he’s sick with cancer. […]

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Advice Goddess: 5/12

By Amy Alkon Friskies sour My best friend, “Rob,” is really into this girl he’s been dating. She is loud, talks constantly about vapid subjects, generally rubs everyone the wrong way, and – I’m not kidding – makes cat “meow” sounds. (For instance: “I’m hungry; let’s get pancakes! Meow.”) Recently, a mutual friend blurted out […]

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Advice Goddess: 5/5

By Amy Alkon Eat, pray you’ll shut up, love I’ve always been a feelings stuffer, but I’ve been reading about vulnerability creating intimacy, blah, blah, blah, so I’m trying to be an open book. Though my boyfriend appreciates this, he keeps telling me there’s a line between expressiveness and my making everything an emotional issue […]

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Advice Goddess: 4/29

By Amy Alkon Shake it till you make it I’m new to online dating. I’m a nice, good-looking guy with a good job, but I have a muscular condition that causes me to shake a lot. I’m not looking to fool anyone, but I don’t want to advertise my condition on my profile because it’s […]

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Advice Goddess: 4/21

By Amy Alkon Malice in Wonderland My boyfriend has a crazy ex-wife who can’t let go. She is the meanest, most vengeful and manipulative person, initially convincing the 15-year-old son she has with my boyfriend that I’m the reason “Dad won’t come back.” (He actually divorced her after she, in a fit of rage, made […]

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Advice Goddess: 4/7

By Amy Alkon Wane of terror I’ve been seeing this guy long distance. I haven’t really been feeling it and kind of let it drop off, thinking he’d get the hint. He keeps texting and calling. I keep telling him I’m just really busy. The truth is I’ve met somebody else. Do I have to […]

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Advice Goddess: 3/31

By Amy Alkon Eyes that light up a womb I’m a 35-year-old guy who’s doing online dating and who’s against having kids for moral reasons. Don’t get me wrong; I love kids. I just don’t think we need any more people on this crowded, violent planet. I’m wondering whether I should make the “no kids” […]

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Advice Goddess: 3/24

By Amy Alkon The sociopath of least resistance My girlfriend has been hurt, cheated on and even ripped off in past relationships, and I’m paying the price. If I don’t text back immediately, she is convinced I’m dumping her and flips out. If I’m busy, she thinks I’m with another girl or abandoning her. When […]

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Advice Goddess: 3/17

By Amy Alkon The Taming Of The Spew This guy I’m dating usually texts back when I text him. But sometimes, like last night, he doesn’t write back. And I’m just texting stuff like “How was your night?” – not “OMG, I miss you.” His not responding feels so disrespectful. I want to read him […]

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Advice Goddess: 3/10

By Amy Alkon Hope Fiend I met this man a few years ago, and it was like a thunderbolt struck us – the stuff movies are made of. He told me that his female roommate was just a friend. We went on a few dates before I realized she was actually his girlfriend. He promised that […]

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Advice Goddess: 3/3

By Amy Alkon The Wicked Witch of the Westin There’s a girl who works at the hotel where my co-workers and I go for drinks. She’s hot and smart and fun, and I really like her and want to ask her out. The problem is that when she laughs, she cackles in this really annoying […]

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Advice Goddess: 2/24

By Amy Alkon Beak experience I recently started dating this new girl. I asked her whether her lips and boobs are real (and it turns out they are). However, I did call her out on having a nose job. She admitted it but seemed kind of upset. It’s the truth. And she’s beautiful, however she […]

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Advice Goddess: 2/17

By Amy Alkon Stay-at-home martyr I just moved in with the love of my life. Her former boyfriend from years ago lives in her downstairs “granny unit.” My girlfriend recently revealed that along with financially subsidizing him, she’s still doing his laundry because “it’s just easier.” He is 50 and previously earned a lot of […]

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Advice goddess: 02/10

By Amy Alkon Rant’s tomb I’m a woman in my early 20s. I do fine getting dates, but only first dates. And no, I’m not having sex with guys on the first date, but I still never hear from them again. I ran into one of these guys at a party and begged him to […]

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Advice goddess: 02/03

By Amy Alkon Playing with mismatches I like this woman I’ve been seeing, but she’s really in love with me. I’ve been clear that I’m not ready to get more serious and that I’m really never going to be up for that with her. She’s chosen to stick around, but her best friend called me […]

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Advice goddess: 01/27

By Amy Alkon Urning curve My boyfriend of eight months was with his ex for almost five years. Unfortunately, she passed two years ago. I have sympathy for him, but occasionally he’ll call me by her name, and it’s really upsetting. I feel like she’s haunting his brain, and I don’t know how to do […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

L&D

Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

L&D

Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

L&D

Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]