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The Advice Goddess – 01/26/11

The Advice Goddess Amy Alkon FIRST QUESTION — You Make Loving Fund My wife and I have been married four months after dating a year. She’s 40; I’m 34. Before we married, we agreed (because of our values) that the man pays the daily living expenses (rent/mortgage, bills, taxes, groceries). She said I should never […]

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Advice Goddess – 01/19/11

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon ONE QUESTION  – Triumph Of The Willy When you gave advice to the woman complaining about her husband surfing the Internet for porn and swimsuit photos of Serena Williams, you seemed to have missed a word in her question. That word is “husband.” I doubt people get married with it […]

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Advice Goddess – 01/12/11

Advice Goddess – 01/12/11 By Amy Alkon FIRST QUESTION – Extremely Old Spice I’m a 40-something married woman with an unwanted admirer. Last year, an 80ish married man, a member of my literary club, called me, confessed his passion for me, and begged me to have a romantic dinner with him. I reluctantly made plans […]

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The Advice Goddess – 01/05/11

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon Home Is Where The Fart Is My wife of eight years is a really good person but always needs reassurance that she’s attractive. I’m finding that difficult because, on a typical night, she takes a dump in our master bathroom with the door open, saunters over to our bed […]

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The Advice Goddess

Settle Sore I’m a 23-year-old law student with a boyfriend who attends grad school 16 hours away. We’re both swamped at school, so we visit once a month. I’ve only been with one other guy, but I hate the dating scene. Still, maybe I need to date around to make sure he’s the right person. […]

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Advice Goddess 10/27/10

Giving Her Paws I’ve been dating a great guy for three years. I occasionally get invited to work functions, and I’d like to take him, but I can’t trust him to act appropriately (not grope me in front of my co-workers, make inappropriate small talk, etc.). The thought of bringing him makes me so anxious […]

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Advice Goddess 10/20/10

When Plush Comes To Shove I fear I’ve already turned off the new guy I’m dating because of a ritual I can’t seem to give up. I sleep with a stuffed bunny. I’m in my mid-30s, but I’ve had it since childhood, and I just find sleeping with it comforting. For the first month of […]

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Advice Goddess

Pier Pressure I got laid off when my company relocated. I was unemployed for 10 months while I tried unsuccessfully to find a job. During this time, my wife resented that she was working and I was “off.” She’d criticize the housework I did, saying I never dusted or swept well enough. She also complained that […]

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Advice Goddess

Putting The Spark Plugs In The Relationship By Amy Alkon Five years ago, My Love and I shared our first kiss. Since then, we’ve been seeing each other three times a week for an hour. We spend this hour in his truck being intimate. We love each other. We talk about getting married, how we’ll […]

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Advice Goddess

I’m Knot With The Band I’m 28 and my boyfriend of five years is 29. I’m ready to get married, and he’s flat-out not, but wants us to stay together. Our maturity levels vary greatly. I’m getting my Ph.D. while working full time. He has a job, but can’t save or manage money and just […]

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Advice Goddess

Gaunt With The Wind I’m 23, and my girlfriend of a couple months is 20. I’m taller than her, although I’m only 5-foot-7, and very thin (I weigh less than she does). She’s mentioned several times that she’s never been with somebody so thin, making me think it’s a problem for her. I just have […]

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Advice Goddess

Wuss It Something I Said? I’m 23, and not unsuccessful with women, just in finding one who wants to stick with me. I approach women two ways: hook up, then part company, or, if I have strong feelings, I work the gentleman angle — ask the woman out, spend quality time with her, and hold […]

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The Advice Goddess

Petaling As Fast As He Can I met my dream girl in my poker group in grad school. I recently moved far away to start my own company, but I plan to move back in about six months, once it’s up and running. I just learned on Facebook that she and her boyfriend broke up, […]

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The Advice Goddess

By Amy Alkon Rivals And Departures I’ve been dating a guy I really like for a month. He’s been in a long-distance relationship with a woman since last spring. They spend a week together every couple of months, and were off and on for a few years prior. She’s coming to visit for three weeks […]

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The Advice Goddess

Bye Now! (Pay Later) There’s never a good time to break up with your girlfriend, but there is a really bad time, and that’s what I chose. I did it over the phone as she was boarding a plane to attend her best friend’s wedding. I thought it would be good for her to be with […]

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The Advice Goddess

Want Salt And Pepper Spray With That? By Amy Alkon The girl of my dreams works at a restaurant I eat at almost every day. When she started six months ago, I began sitting in her section. I’ve never had feelings this strong. I can’t even look at her without freezing up. Two months ago, […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

L&D

Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

L&D

Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

L&D

Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]