Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Certain male lizards claim piles of rock as their territories—the most dominant lizards have the biggest best mounds of precious, heat-soaking stone. They also have the most females—but these aren’t drawn to their dominant behavior, striking physiques, or winning personalities so much as their primo real estate. Give another lizard a bigger pile of rocks and soon he’s rolling in lady lizards. Obviously, most humans aren’t quite so simple, but try to remember the lizards the next time(s) you get rejected. It often has nothing to do with your smile, your jokes, or your body. Sometimes the other guy (or gal) just has a bigger pile of rocks.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I dreamt I traveled to another planet. Despite a totally different landscape, the humans living there spoke English and were culturally very similar to the ones I knew on Earth. However, even using dream logic I was pretty sure it wouldn’t take long to expose the subtle but profound differences between us. Same goes for you this week. You may find yourself among people with whom you have a surprising amount in common; however, don’t be surprised when fundamental disparities appear. Just employ the same strategy I’d have used on my new planet: stay cool when dissimilarities crop up, and do your best to emphasize the common ground you nevertheless share.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

As every parent knows, little children relish repetition. They’ll watch a favorite movie literally dozens (or even hundreds) of times, with tremendous satisfaction. Fortunately, as we grow older, most of us develop more of a taste for variety. Although it’s pleasant to occasionally revisit an old favorite, most people are happier with stuff that’s mostly new, fresh, and interesting. Try to remember that this week; while nostalgia will allow you to keep to the tried and true for a while, if you don’t mix it up with a refreshing surprise or two here or there, the discerning adults in your life aren’t likely to stick around much longer.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Although you’re arguably the most malleable and in some ways easygoing sign in the zodiac, you do have a sizable stubborn streak. Sometimes, when people pressure you to pursue a certain direction, you’ll resentfully resist, just to prove (perhaps unconsciously) that you can. This is especially disastrous, of course, when it actually is just the right direction for you. Try not to let your slightly childish obstinacy keep you from taking excellent advice this week, even and especially if you don’t like the source or how it’s presented. If it’s a good idea, it’s a good idea—so please be conscious and humble enough to notice that and ignore the rest.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Holiday shopping is occasionally fun, but often a total drag, especially when motivated by guilt, or when you must find a gift for someone who’s difficult to shop for. Make this easier on yourself this week—and no, I don’t mean buying a lame gift card or showering them with cash. Start by straight-up asking them, and not taking modest demurrals for an answer. If that doesn’t work, you’ll need to bribe, guilt, extort, or trick it out of them. Stop flying blind. The answers are out there—do what you’ve got to do to get them.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

The bloodsuckers in your life have gotten out of hand. These aren’t the glamorously hot and sparkly kind, either—just plain old parasites that are only likely to drag you down, not grant you immortality and superpowers. Unfortunately you can’t feasibly get rid of them with a garlic necklace, a splash of holy water, or a sharpened stake. You’ll have to use subtler (and sadly somewhat less effective) means to keep them from draining you of vitality. Don’t let them have another drop. Put on your best vampire-slaying outfit and put an end to their mooching and freeloading, right now.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

It shouldn’t work this way, but sometimes the only way to get the treatment you deserve is to insist on it—and by that I don’t mean being worshipped as a diva, but simply being given the normal respect and consideration due every human being. I wish you didn’t have to go out of your way, but it is what it is, and enduring unfair treatment out of principle (“I shouldn’t have to say anything!”) just won’t get you very far. Yeah, it sucks, but the alternative sucks worse. Stick up for yourself, already. No one else is likely to.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Normally stable people can get loopy around the holidays (you may have already experienced this at Thanksgiving). While it would certainly be kind of you to cut everyone some slack for wacky behavior, there are limits, and your tolerance should only extend so far. Gently set some firm boundaries. Of course, if it turns out you’re the holiday kook, it may not be fun to find out that’s your role, nor to have people call you out on your shenanigans. Try to take it with good grace, just as you’d hope someone else would, though, and not go even further off the deep end.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Wild creatures use many different tactics to keep themselves from harm, including venom to deter predators, camouflage to hide from them, or deception (posing as something more threatening). These are not leonine tactics, though. It’s especially hard for you to hide, or pretend to be anything other than you are. You can go ahead and try these kinds of strategies, if you insist, but they’re not likely to work well. Bold, direct confrontation (and a little tactical, well-timed roaring here and there) has mostly worked for you in the past; it should be similarly effective here.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It’s more satisfying to clean a filthy room than to scrub an almost perfectly spotless one. Being able to easily see a tangible difference from your efforts is its own reward; sweeping an entire room to produce a thin line of dust that disappears as you try to get it into the dustbin is hardly worthwhile. Try to remember that as you contemplate the (possibly human) mess before you. Yes, fixing it up will be a lot of work, but the alternative is busy-work tidying something that’s not going to look much different once you’re done. Wouldn’t you, if you’re honest with yourself, prefer a project you can make a tangible impact on?

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Generally, I try to speak the truth or say nothing at all, especially if I’m doing something that’s unpleasant, like rejecting someone. “I don’t want to hurt their feelings,” is usually a rationalization used to protect the person doing the rejecting, ironically, not the rejected. They’re going to be hurt no matter what, and if you don’t tell them why, they’ll invent the “reasons” why in their head (and these will generally be worse than the truth). It’s kinder, if more difficult, to be brutally frank in those moments, so they can learn from what’s happened. Keep that in mind this week, and be kind.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

There’s only so much you can do to protect someone else from themselves. At some point, once you’ve made a reasonable effort to steer them in the right direction, stick up for them, and so on, you must simply let them make their own mistakes and learn from the shit that happens. Although you wish the world would be kinder and more patient with them, reality is what it is, and either they learn to navigate it on their own, or they don’t. In fact, continued interference from you might, in some ways, be counter-productive. This week may very well be the best time to let the little bird you’ve taken under your wing fly solo from the nest, at least for a while.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

Being in business with someone you don’t think is on the up and up is never fun. However, we frequently end up in situations where we must interact with people we know don’t have our best interests in mind, like banks, insurance companies, and the like. Financially, it’s very difficult to make choices that allow us to avoid that type of scenario, but personally, it’s often quite simple. This week it gets even simpler, because it will finally be clear that it’s time to ditch that person whose agenda isn’t particularly concerned with your well-being. Cut them loose.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Carrying a grudge is much too heavy a burden for someone as usually lighthearted as you, especially because, in most cases, even if you were wronged, you had the good fortune to end up on top. Why waste time on negativity when you were the one who scored the girl/guy, job, or lucky break, despite their best efforts to sabotage you? Surely, it’d be more galling to those who wronged you to see you being gracious, happy, and successful, rather than sour, pinch-faced, and mean. Slap a smile on your face already, and remember to enjoy your victories, instead of focusing too much on your near-misses.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Who you date, love, or marry should be about the big picture. Not the specifics. If much of your “love” is predicated on the size of a wallet, the massiveness of certain body parts, or the prettiness of a face, I can only hope that the other person recognizes that and flees before things get too serious. Those are the basis for a fling, not a relationship. While income or sex appeal can and should be pieces of a bigger picture, you ought to have to play “Where’s Waldo” to find them. If they’re front and center, the long-term potential of the connection is probably pretty limited; here’s hoping one of you realizes that before someone gets seriously hurt.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarians are likely to travel very far before they realize that they took a wrong turn. Perhaps you’ll be 90% of the way towards being a doctor before you figure out that you really don’t want to practice medicine. Of course, such a revelation or admission could be almost traumatic (for you and whoever paid for your years of schooling), but don’t get too worked up about it. Your first impulse will, naturally, be to change course immediately—however, that wouldn’t be the wisest decision. Although you should begin to consider alternatives, see this choice through to its next immediate conclusion (graduating from medical school, for instance) before you figure out what’s next. You’ve come this far, after all.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

When you’ve gotten into a serious rut, things that you wouldn’t have considered before (such as an affair with a married person, or spontaneously quitting your job) may begin to look very attractive. Of course, you know in your heart that pursuing such extremes can only end in tears, and not just for you. However, that doesn’t mean you must resign yourself to living in an emotional ditch—you need to simply be more creative as to how to escape it. This week should present you with at least three significant opportunities to shake things up without knocking them down completely. Seize them.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Hearing that your best friends don’t like the person you’re dating isn’t particularly fun. However, you chose these friends for a reason. If their dislike is based on something superficial, you should question why these people are so close to you. However, it’s more likely that their animosity is based on how your significant other treats you—in which case heeding their unwanted and painful message is warranted, and may keep you from making a terrible decision you’d regret later. Remember, there’s no need to necessarily end things on the basis of a bad feeling from your buddies; however, slowing them down or changing their direction is probably a fantastic idea.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

I’m embarrassed for people who take Fox News (which I consider preposterously biased bullshit) at face value. Unfortunately, there are those who are simply too stupid, blind, or willfully ignorant to see the ridiculousness of that particular paradigm (and others of its ilk). It’s not that I’m afraid of those with different opinions; what I fear is those who can’t even look at the big picture and acknowledge the insanity of such a narrow viewpoint. I’m willing to hear out anyone who’s sane, thoughtful, and reasonably articulate, even if they disagree with me. However, I will unabashedly dismiss anyone whose main m.o. is simply ranting vitriolic nonsense—so should you.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

The One Laptop Per Child (laptop.org) charity aims to get low-cost laptops into the hands of impoverished children around the world (and has already distributed more than 2 million laptops). This gives these kids access not only to millions of books (the laptops come with ebooks loaded) they’d never have seen, but also the plethora of information and opportunity on the Internet. When someone has so little, it’s hard to imagine how much such a chance could mean. You may not be able to make such a profound and obvious difference in someone’s life this week. However, improving the lot of someone in need, even in small ways, is well within your reach. Please do so.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

You made an offer and it was accepted in good faith. Now you’re regretting your decision—not because it was the wrong choice, but because you may be too squeamish, lazy, judgmental, or flaky to follow through on your promise. Acknowledge that you may be demonstrating some of your worst qualities, and use this as an opportunity to outgrow them. Make good on your word, and do so gracefully, not resentfully. You may, of course, rethink what you put on the table in the future, but since you made this bed, you need to lie in it—without complaint.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leos don’t always have the best work ethic around (and if you think you do, just ask a Virgo who knows you well). However, the “lazy Leo” stereotype is hardly accurate. In fact, the Leos I know always make a point—as a matter of personal pride—of doing an excellent job, and use efficiency to get things done quickly so they can laze about with a clear conscience. This distinction may need to be pointed out to someone who doubts you. However, do so gracefully and smoothly, lest you be “punished” for your efficiency (by being given even more work and responsibility).

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Virgos aren’t as frequently passive-aggressive as they’re made out to be. However, when you go there, you go there. No one’s as good as you are at firmly pressing the big red DESTRUCT button while appearing to do nothing. Be on the lookout for warning signs that you could be engaged in such behavior (for instance, a good friend might tell you!) and investigate and acknowledge what you really want from the situation. Then act on it. It’s kinder and quicker to pursue your goals directly, rather than simply allowing them to come about through inaction (or maliciously subtle and hard-to-trace action).

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Don’t ask whether, but rather how, to help. You’re in a position to offer the fruits of your expertise, experience, or common sense to someone desperately in need of them. There is no real ethical issue here if you’re also willing to share these things with others who ask for them, so feel free to step up and allow someone to benefit from your skills, since you’re in such a perfect position to do so. When in doubt, remember: ignoring those kinds of opportunities never feels good; gracefully embracing them is almost always a win-win.

To contact Caeriel send mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

When you were younger, you played games to test your own strength, much like the way baby animals playfully enact versions of the activities they’ll require for survival and success later in life, like hunting, chasing, and fighting. At some point, though, part of becoming a mature, compassionate and conscious Scorpio is to stop exercising your power just because you can, but instead learn how to utilize it for a noble (or selfish but harmless) purpose. That’s lesson one, anyway. Seeing as how you should have mostly mastered that, this week is, of course, all about lesson two: figuring out when not to use your advantages, and let things play out as if you were a mere mortal like the rest of us.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

If Sagittarians were given a superpower of their choice, but only had a second to pick, nearly every one of you would select some form of transportive ability, like flight or teleportation. Leos might choose invulnerability, Pisces telepathy, or Geminis invisibility, but your first instinct would be to acquire something that would help you get around faster, with more ease and freedom. That says something about you. Luckily, you don’t really need a paranormal ability to achieve that general aim; it might just mean a subtle restructuring of your schedule, or your priorities. This week, see what you can do about that.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

The whole “with great power comes great responsibility” thing is a concept you only partially buy into. “It’s not my job,” carries some weight with you, too. However, although you needn’t act every time you see an opportunity, there are times when inaction is quite simply the wrong thing to do—namely when an innocent (especially a child or an animal) is harmed by your unwillingness to step up. As long as doing so doesn’t put you in any serious danger, you should consider it your calling to never shirk this responsibility, at least this week (if not every week). If you don’t step up, it’s depressingly likely that no one will.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In How to Train Your Dragon, the main character discovers that nearly everything his elders taught him about dragons was wrong. Even though this received wisdom had spanned generations, he was willing to disregard it long enough to discover its implicit misconceptions. You, of course, are always willing to question what you’ve been told, and should continue to investigate matters thoroughly for yourself—no matter how much such scrutiny is discouraged. Since such dissuasion is likely to be laid on thick this week, you’ll need to reaffirm  and redouble your determination to ignore it, and press on anyway.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

In response to the many suicides of bullied gay youth, one of my heroes, Dan Savage, started a project to speak to teens who might be full of despair (youTube.com/itgetsbetterproject), essentially delivering the simple (and truthful) message, “it gets better.” Such mentorship and community-fostering is admirable to me. Make extending kindness, guidance, and understanding to those who need it most your goal this week. The coolest part about such an activity is that you won’t just be helping others; you’re likely to feel more focused, directed, and understood than you were before you began, too.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

“Never give up on your dreams!” is the counsel of people who’ve just achieved theirs. While you can’t really go wrong with that message, I’m usually much more curious about the setbacks (or supposed setbacks) they experienced along the way, and how they managed to endure them and persist in spite of them. That would actually be more inspiring to me than the ultimate realization of their goals. Since you yourself have overcome numerous obstacles as you’ve proceeded down the path, please be kind enough to share your hard-won experience with those you see struggling similarly. Help them on their way; they’re very likely to return the favor, down the line, should you need it.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

It’s one thing to be generous—and you should strive to continue to embody this admirable trait—and quite another thing, however, to be taken advantage of. Unfortunately, some people aren’t especially good at being aware of or respecting sensible boundaries when accepting someone’s generosity. It’s for these people they invented the saying, “Give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.” Don’t let them spoil your bighearted disposition for the rest of us, though. Don’t allow them to make you upset. When they cross a line, gently but firmly let them know; then carry on as before. If they need to be cut off, cut them off—just don’t cut everyone off.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Sometimes change only happens when people feel they truly have no other choice. Even though we know we’ll probably run out of oil and gas in our lifetimes, few people are conservative in their gas usage; only if petroleum prices skyrocket will most people seriously consider carpooling, bicycling, or public transportation. I think we all know some stuff we could and should change, yet we’re mostly too selfish, lazy, or stubborn to actually do it. I’m hoping you Geminis—more open-minded than most—will be more willing to embrace necessary changes before they’re forced on you (by which time it may actually be too late).

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

As much as we want to make those we love feel safe, that’s not always possible. The simple truth is that, while there are some things you can protect them from, there are many things you can’t, and pretending you can would be perpetrating an illusion. Lying to someone, even with the best and most noble intentions, rarely makes them feel safe—in fact, it’s likely to undermine your more admirable and effective efforts. Continue your efforts to protect those you love—but do so without dishonesty. If something is truly out of your hands, admit it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Despite your love of luxury, most Leos deal with poverty pretty well. Unlike your sensual Taurean cousins, who get frustrated when things aren’t top-quality, Leos really only need a few special things in their lives; the rest can be rather plain, cheap, or ordinary. This ability to make do with less will serve you well this week and in the coming months, but make sure you don’t deprive yourself completely. Selectively pamper yourself here and there, without breaking the bank. Indulging yourself in one or two vital ways is the key to being happy with everything else.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

What you’re up to now is a little like arbitrarily deciding to go through a whole day wearing oven mitts. “Other people are too used to relying on me using my fingers, so let’s see how they fare when I can’t use them!” Besides being exceptionally silly, it’s also a poor way of getting what you actually want: better boundaries and consequently fewer people taking advantage of you or your talents. Take off the oven mitts. They’re just going to make you look petty and ridiculous. Instead, practice figuring out just where your boundaries lie, and how to (at least in the future) effectively enforce them.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“I’m sorry.” Two simple words, that, when you mean them, can indicate (and change) so much. Unfortunately, simple apologies are frequently ineffective because of how often people deliver them insincerely or arbitrarily. Those who’ve been wronged are reluctant to actually accept them without some more undeniable demonstration of remorse. Luckily for you, such grand gestures won’t be necessary right now, so you can cancel the skywriting and dozens of roses. Ironically, they’d actually make you look disingenuous. A heartfelt, look-you-in-the-eye-and-mean-it apology will do the trick—so give them exactly that.

To contact Caeriel send mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

The news today had a story about seven major cities that are in imminent danger of sinking, including Bangkok, New Orleans and New York. Rising water levels due to global warming and/or crappy foundations are mostly to blame. This made me think of you, Scorpio. Why? You may not realize that you’re in danger of sinking, too, because of poor planning or changing conditions you haven’t been paying sufficient attention to. Of course, unlike a city, you can just pick yourself up and extract yourself from the situation that threatens to submerge you—if you notice before it’s too late.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You Archers are traditionally the zodiac’s nomads, but modern life makes it difficult to really live that way. What happy Sagittarians do instead is to make sure to always leave some space for new things, so that discovery and exploration can be a regular part of their lives, even if the rest of their time is fairly boxed in and accounted for. If you haven’t made that space (or you’ve let it become eroded or forgotten), you’re not as happy and fulfilled as you could be. Take this week to carve out a niche for new stuff to come in.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Sure, eating crackers in bed is annoying, but is it really a dealbreaker? You may be putting too much emphasis on nitpicky details and ignoring the largely favorable big picture. Brushing crumbs off your sheets is easier than finding someone who turns you on while making you laugh. This week, try to blow off all that ultimately meaningless crap and focus instead on what’s truly important, for the sake of your own and everyone else’s happiness. Sweating the small stuff will not only make you miserable in the long-term, it’s not much fun in the day-to-day, either.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I told Capricorns to quit obsessing over the details; you, however, need to focus on them more. When the salient information doesn’t fit in with your sanguine vision, you tend to ignore or disregard it. Although most of the minutiae really is irrelevant, there are some things it’s imprudent to overlook. Optimism can only carry you so far. This week is all about discerning the difference between most of the little shit that doesn’t matter, and the handful of fine points that could make or break the situation; heeding those isn’t being uptight—it’s
being wise.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Routine can be comforting, but it can also be stifling. The most exasperating part is that the same pattern can play both roles at different times, depending on where you’re at, or the attitudes of the other people involved. It’s your job this week to notice, one way or another, and let the vibe of the present moment determine how things play out. Skipping a beloved tradition could be heartbreaking or liberating. Be attentive to what the scenario is, and respond accordingly. For every habit you ditch, here’s hoping something new and wonderful enters your life to take its place.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

nternal loveliness trumps external gorgeousness in the long run, every single time, because the former can expand and grow indefinitely, while the latter generally only declines. However, in the short-term, good looks usually win, which means it’s easy to pass up the average-looking person you could’ve loved for years, for the model who’ll drive you nuts by the end of the week. It’s your task to try to look past the superficial this week and see what lies beneath. Also, you need to focus more on developing your own inner beauty so there’s something to love once your outer beauty fades.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

When someone asks you to come through on a favor you owe, you might be surprised. It’ll definitely be inconvenient. However, it’s important for you to make good on any promises you made (even if they were mostly unspoken). This isn’t just about your reputation, your friendship, or your priorities. It’s about simply doing what’s right. That, incidentally, should be your ultimate bottom line regarding any and all decisions you make in the coming weeks. Those choices may not always fall in line with your usual habits, the path of least resistance, or your intuition. Yet heeding that imperative over your other impulses will keep you on the exactly the right track.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You could load your car up with all the baggage you want to get rid of and sink it in the lake. You’re ready to be done with that shit, already, but obviously the solution I suggest is hardly practical; cars are expensive and most of the baggage you want to get rid of is emotional and too big to fit in the trunk. However, there is a way to chuck out that junk that’s nearly as final and effective, if less dramatic. Of course, the specifics must be determined by you—all I can tell you is the solution is more obvious and available than it’s ever been.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Sometimes, like this week, the available choices aren’t especially good. They might even be downright awful. Unfortunately, hanging around and hoping for some other option to manifest won’t get you an out, it’ll just mean one of those crappy choices will get picked by default. Wouldn’t you rather select the lesser of two evils and just make the best of it while that’s still possible? Unfortunately, your window of opportunity is almost expired. You really don’t want to deal with the consequences from the worst of your choices, so make up your mind, quick, before it’s made up for you.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Given the choice between a bomb-resistant underground hideout, a practical but unremarkable suburban home, or a luxurious over-the-top modern day palace, and most Leos couldn’t imagine why anyone would select anything but the “no-brainer” last option. However, hardly anyone else would choose that impractical and pretentious building over the others. In some ways you’re just like everyone else, Leo, but you have facets that no one else shares—this week is about those, and how they influence you to make choices others consider eccentric. This isn’t about feeling bad about those differences, but simply acknowledging them in your constant quest for greater self-awareness. They’re part of what makes you so great—and knowing what’s great about yourself is a tremendous power.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You could take an amazing photo but if you tried to print it out on construction paper, or with an ancient dot matrix picture, it probably wouldn’t translate. You really need to make sure you give your talents the proper chance to shine, and that means not skimping on the details. Making do is all well and good—but that means coping with something adequate instead of superb, not forging ahead with something that just won’t cut it no matter how hard you try. Take a page out of Leo’s notebook, and remember that who you are and what you do are worth something, and make sure you get what you need to, if not shine like the sun, at least shine like the star you are.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You were already desperately thirsty when you made the perhaps unwise decision to head out into the desert at high noon. Is it any wonder that you almost immediately felt like you were in trouble way over your head? I’m glad you discovered your sense of adventure, and hope you continue to bravely and curiously explore uncharted territories, but learn from some wise veteran adventurer, like those Sagittarians—when they go out on a limb and try something new, they bring supplies, do advance research, and prepare for the unexpected—and consequently almost always have a great time.

To contact Caeriel send mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

Sure, you could bake a traditional apple pie, but these particular guests would probably be more excited if, when they cut into that innocuous crust, they discovered bacon and pecans, or avocado and kiwi—something surprising and just as delicious, if not more so. Thinking outside the box isn’t your specialty, I know; you generally prefer to be creative while coloring inside the lines. However, you’re more than capable of it and could stand to do more of it—so this week, practice. It’s not often you’ll have an audience this appreciative of a little creative experimentation.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

When someone perpetrates evil, it’s hard not to wish them ill. That’s human nature. However, as much as they may deserve it, sometimes the bad shit that befalls them turns into even more evil going down later. The only way out of a spiraling mess of misery may be to take the high road, let go, and move on. That is, of course, an incredibly hard thing to do, especially for you occasionally bloodthirsty Scorpios. However, I guarantee that should you manage to actually do it, you’ll feel lighter and more free than you have in ages.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The problem with porn and celebrities is that many people have trouble settling for someone who doesn’t look like a porn or movie star. The truth is there aren’t enough of those good-looking stars to go around, and most of them would rather date each other than lowly mortals like the guy or gal next door. I’m not generally a fan of lowering your standards—unless those standards are so high that it’s extremely unlikely you’ll even meet such a person, let alone be in a situation to have them fall in love with you. Sure, you can hold out for the best in the world, but you’re likely to be pretty lonely. Won’t you at least consider going for the best of what’s actually available, instead?

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Being picky is okay most of the time; you know what you want, so there’s no point in wasting anyone’s time pretending you’ll be happy with anything else. However, it does occasionally limit you by failing to take into account your own (perhaps unconsciously) changing preferences and needs. What displeased you a year or decade ago might prove to the be just the refreshing thing you need in your life now. However, since it’s in the “No-no” category, you might never get the chance to figure that out. Remember exceptions to the rules are usually exceptional—and ultimately much better. Allow for them.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarians with discipline are virtually unstoppable. The combination of your intelligence and creativity with real persistence and determination is a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, developing that deep discipline isn’t necessarily easy for you. Obviously, it’s not something you can really produce overnight, either. It takes practice, and a humble willingness to try again when you fall short. This week may be one of those times when you must rise from a tumble, dust yourself off, and head back into the fray. Demonstrate that nothing will stop you from doing exactly that—especially not your own self.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Let’s say you use birth control consistently, but somehow a pregnancy occurs anyway. How do you react? Most Pisces I know would view this as “a sign,” and probably choose to go ahead and have this unplanned baby, regardless of how well or poorly it fit in with the rest of their lives. However, while I appreciate the way you imbue so many things with meaning, it’s important to remember that some things are just accidents, not messages indicating some higher, unseen design. Since the accident this week isn’t a baby, and proceeding as planned doesn’t involve anything so drastic as an abortion, at least consider doing that.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Sure, it’d be easier and more economical to just leave your Halloween decorations up all year—but hardly appropriate. The kind of laziness you’re embracing, while less extreme (although perhaps no less comical), is definitely in the same category. Believe me, I’m a champion procrastinator, but even I recognize that sometimes you just have to suck it up and get shit done. This, my dear, is one of those annoying times. Life is full of seemingly “unnecessary” work that, for one reason or another, has become necessary. Stop railing against it and just get it done.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Tolerating ignorance in acquaintances is one thing, but sometimes it falls on you to gently but firmly correct it in those closer to you. This is a thankless task; sometimes it’ll earn you scorn, resentment, or anger instead of thanks. However, please realize that you may be the only one who’s in a position (or simply willing) to correct the situation. If you can do so without coming off like a snobbish prig, more power to you; however, if that’s the only way to get the job done, suck it up and take on those unflattering labels.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Saying no has never been your forte; however, it’s an essential skill, and you know you need to learn to decisively exercise it more often. It’s hard, I know, especially when the requests you ought to refuse come from compelling, attractive people you want to impress. Just try to keep in mind that sticking to your guns might actually impress them more than bending to their will. This week should give you several excellent, no-brainer opportunities; don’t let yourself be suckered, intimidated, charmed, or tricked into passing them up and accidentally saying “yes,” or even “maybe.” The answer is no, and you know it—so say it.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

I know parents who’ve tried everything to get their young children to be non-conformist, but, despite their best efforts, their little boys are obsessed with dinosaurs and their little girls want to dress like sparkly fairy princesses every single day. I think it’s important to present options, of course, and allow for multiple possibilities; however, nonconformity for its own sake is fairly pointless. Kids will like what they’ll like, and their parents have to be okay with it, even if it’s the same boring things all the other kids like. You should give yourself permission to like what you like, too, even if it’s not what you think you should enjoy or it’s the same boring thing everyone else is into. I mean, really—why would you ever deny yourself that?

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

I have friends with whom I enjoy humorously combative banter, but this is sometimes misunderstood by people who don’t know us well. We enjoy debate and sarcasm and actually have a blast hanging out, but have occasionally stressed acquaintances out with our “constant bickering.” We think it’s hilarious (in many years of being close we’ve never had a real fight), but recognize that around certain delicate folk it’s best to tone things down. You may need to do the same this week. This isn’t about censoring yourself; it’s just about chilling out a little, for the sake of someone else’s comfort. It’s not too much to ask.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Life throws curveballs, notoriously and consistently. You could hold out for the perfect partner, and they could be crippled in a car accident the day after your wedding. Dismissing people because of imperfections—especially ones they can’t help—is pretty foolish, especially if they were honest enough to reveal them unprompted. This isn’t just about not being shallow (although it is about that, of course); it’s also about being realistic;  despite your practicality, when it comes to love you engage in some foolish illusions. This is one. This isn’t about settling for an imbecile when you want a genius, but rather noticing that the genius you wanted didn’t necessarily come in the package you were expecting.

To contact Caeriel send mail to
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

Some things don’t respond well to extra pressure, like sleep. Sometimes the more urgent it is that you get some rest, the less likely it’ll actually happen. You end up watching the clock all night, desperately tired, thinking, “Ugh, I have to get up in five hours…. Four hours…three hours!” Of course, taking the pressure off isn’t easy in those situations—however, you still need to do your best, since one or two just like this are bound to crop up this week. Sometimes the only thing that works for me is accepting and embracing the worst-case scenario—then when things play out a little less badly, I can count my blessings.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

When people are stung repeatedly, some develop a tolerance to the venom, but many people ironically become more vulnerable, not less, with each subsequent sting. That’s the case with those closest to you; your emotional and psychological barbs are more and more devastating—which is why people sometimes become more guarded as time goes on. Of course, you can’t help what you are and what you’re capable of, but there is a counter to their fear—you demonstrating that you’re not only capable of controlling your capacity to sting, but increasingly reluctant to employ it in the first place.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Pursuing a traditional path isn’t generally the happiest scenario for you Sagittarians; you’re usually best off bushwhacking your own trail through the wilderness. That means really putting faith in yourself and your abilities—which sometimes means largely ignoring the counsel of your more traditional and conventional friends. You’re not a clone—and trying to pursue the traditional mainstream path, whether through your career, relationships, or whatever you’re up to, isn’t likely to make you feel particularly happy or fulfilled. Yes, your way is harder. It’s also way more interesting, and simply better.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Compared to you wise old Goats, we’re all impatient children. Planting slow-growing seeds and waiting uncomplainingly for them to sprout is part of what you do. You serenely accept that they won’t yield fruit for years. The rest of us require more imminent gratification. What’s the problem? Nothing, except when your world overlaps with someone else’s. Then we get restless and frustrated because things just aren’t as urgent for you as they are for us. While it’s on us to grow up and develop the kind of patience that comes naturally to you, you could help us by making a concession here or there—and by being willing to speed things up a little now and then.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Right now, most of the stuff you hope to accomplish takes time to develop, discipline to stick with, and foresight to plan for. Hoping to see quick results for any of it is a juvenile mindset you must outgrow if you want to see this stuff through to its conclusion. You will see some results, only a few months from now, if you don’t falter. But so far you haven’t been realistic about the timeframe, and when a few days’ work hasn’t yielded visible results, you’ve been secretly disappointed and disheartened. Stick with it. Widen your viewpoint and take the long view. You’re on the right track; it’s just going to take longer than you’d like to prove it.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

I won’t lie; if I find out someone I’m interested in is a Pisces, my romantic interest usually fades rather quickly. It’s not that I don’t love and adore you, Pisces—I just know myself well enough to know that we’re not a good synergistic match. Try to be grateful, not offended, when you encounter people like me, who are trying to save you time and spare you disappointment. There are plenty of people out there who are thrilled to partake in what you have to offer. It’s not always easy for a Pisces to make difficult calls like that—but sometimes they have to be made. Be glad when someone else is willing to make them.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

It can be exhausting, I know, to put yourself out there only to be repeatedly rebuffed or unappreciated. Unfortunately, this is one of those situations where so much depends on being in the right place at the right time—and you’ll never know when or where that is until after the fact. What that means is you need to keep trying. Do it for all the great ones who’d love all (or even most) of what you have to offer, but just haven’t discovered you yet. Mix up your game and keep things fresh, of course—the important thing is to keep playing.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You have a fetish for the familiar. Admit it. You tend to be drawn towards people and situations where you more or less know what to expect and are unlikely to encounter any surprises. The irony is that some of the best times in your life have been when you’ve experienced the unexpected. Can’t you try to, if not actively seek out surprises, at least embrace them when they seem inclined to happen? This week, when you get an invitation or see a situation to jump into something totally outside your comfort zone, at least consider giving it a go.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Time for a reality check. I believe in being optimistic and have seen how hoping for the best can yield some miraculously positive results. However, there are limits. I’m a big fan of pushing and testing those, but there’s a point where they can’t go any further. What you’re doing now is like sticking an ice cube on a hot sidewalk in the sun and hoping it won’t melt. This might just be asking a bit too much from the reality you’re hoping to create. Be ambitious and hopeful and imaginative—but at least bow to most of the laws of physics, won’t you?

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Don’t get between Mama Bear and her cub or she’ll flip out. Even if she’s normally passive and sweet, when you trip that protective instinct she’s fiercer than the wildest creatures out there. This is also true of you Cancers. While generally not that scary (at least compared to those intimidating Leos or vicious Scorpios), you are a force to be reckoned with if someone you love is threatened in any way. Don’t forget that. When you’re feeling weak or ineffective, recall that you have enormous power at your disposal. It’s just tapping into it that’s difficult—but it should get easier now that you remember it’s there.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leos hate performing tasks that don’t fit in with the larger-than-life way they prefer to think about themselves, such as scrubbing toilets or taking out the trash. Of course, everyone has to perform such tasks on occasion, and it turns out no one likes them much. So it’s a necessary lesson for every royal Lion to learn how to humble herself and do the shit that needs doing, without complaint—because you’re not actually royalty. Your noble character is one of your great strengths, but sometimes it needs to be set aside so you can just be an ordinary, hard-working human being.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Sometimes the choice is between something totally artificial and completely safe, and something wilder and more risky. To some signs this decision is a no-brainer, but for you Virgos, who place value in both categories, it’s bound to be more tricky. This week, you’ll have to decide which side of the fence you’re on, though. Which will it be? A trip to Disney or camping in a national forest? A chlorinated hot tub or some outdoor natural hot springs? While you’re deciding, keep in mind not only the experience itself, but the kind of people you’ll meet and interact with while you’re there. That could
prove important.

To contact Caeriel send mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

Imagine scientists invented a cheap way to lock humans into the age of their choice, but once you picked how old you wanted to be, it was irreversible. While most of us would probably be more or less happy with our new ages, some people would regret their decisions, wish they’d picked some other age, or simply miss aging. Ungrateful for this medical miracle, they’d still find something to bitch and moan about. Before you scoff at them, though, ask yourself: isn’t that a little bit like what you’re doing right now? Even though the blessing you’re kvetching about isn’t as spectacular as eternal youth, wouldn’t it be better if you simply enjoyed it, instead of complaining about its shortcomings?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I like writing in coffeehouses. They’re comfortable, and entertaining without being interruptive to my thought processes. Of course, we can’t always create or locate the ideal conditions to do our best work, and must frequently make do with whatever situations we find ourselves in, like it or not. I’ve discovered that most of my objections to those scenarios are really just excuses to justify my own laziness. If you’re brutally honest with yourself, isn’t that the case for you, too? If you wanted to, you could adapt to the less-than-ideal conditions of your present circumstances, instead of putting things “on the back burner.” This week, why don’t you try?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Last night I dreamt I hooked up with someone who was way out of my league, then, inexplicably, went for a walk. When I returned, I discovered they’d cleaned out my entire apartment, taking absolutely everything of value. At first, I felt like an idiot. Then I began to feel oddly flattered—after all, I didn’t have much worth stealing. Of course, when shit goes down, it sucks. But once you’ve accepted the crappy aspect of whatever’s happened, perhaps you’ll be able to find the shinier, funnier, or happier side of things. This week, being able to consistently see such silver linings could, unfortunately, come in quite handy.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Imagine you were a witch who could only cast each spell in your arsenal once before it lost its power. Ironically, you’d be at your most powerful before you’d ever done a thing, while you still had your entire spell book at your disposal, and become gradually weaker the more you exercised your abilities. That would suck. Luckily, the exact opposite is true this week (and in general); the more you use your strengths, the stronger and more effective they become. So don’t be afraid of working your magic, repeatedly and with impunity. Practice makes perfect.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

When you suffer a minor injury, it’s tempting to simply pop some painkillers and get on with your day. Often that works out fine, but once in a while it backfires; you end up aggravating or compounding the problem until it’s so severe that you’re forced to take some serious downtime to properly recover. This week, it’s important to accurately and honestly assess whether or not that’s a plausible risk when you ignore your minor (perhaps emotional) aches and pains. If it is, ask yourself this: wouldn’t a short, scheduled break now be preferable to an extended, involuntary, and unscheduled one later?

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Gifts can be sincere expressions of generous kindness, but they can also be used to manipulate, flatter, induce guilt, or encourage indebtedness, among other things. This is why you may feel leery about the largesse coming your way soon—because of the invisible strings you suspect are probably there. You have two main options here. You can trust yourself to somehow remain immune to the scheming that may be behind such generosity—but given your track record, I wouldn’t bank on that. The other alternative may be a tougher pill to swallow, but safer in the long run: saying thanks, but no thanks.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Play hard to get. I know that’s a challenge, Aries—we all know you’re actually kind of easy to get (and most of us love you for it). However, sometimes people don’t realize how badly they want something (or someone) until they feel like they can’t have it, or must at least work hard for it. Help them have that realization about you, my dear—which means taking a few steps back and not making yourself quite so approachable and available. Don’t let such a thing become a habit, of course—your openness and enthusiasm is one of your greatest strengths—but practicing cheerful, friendly unobtainability could be a fun (and fruitful) exercise this week.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Everyone’s familiar with the cliché of the popular kids peaking in high school; according to that sad tale, they never quite top the glory of their football/cheerleading days. Of course, it’s a cliché because it makes a good story for all the people who were miserable (often because of these very people). Actually, it happens to anyone who gets “stuck” in one particular phase of their existence. It could, in fact, be happening to you, Taurus. Have you failed to acknowledge or adapt to your changing circumstances? If so, that could be the source of some of your dissatisfaction. It might be difficult to accept some of life’s natural changes—but doing so is the only way to move forward.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Have you ever met someone with an irritating habit and convinced yourself that it was endearing, only to recognize—much further down the line—that it actually annoyed the hell out of you? In retrospect, wouldn’t it have been better to have been honest (with yourself and them) early on, before you got more involved? Try not to repeat that kind of mistake. The next time a little red flag goes up, heed it. Is this something you can actually get over and tune out? Can it be changed or toned down? If the answer to either of those questions is “no,” it’s definitely better to figure that out sooner than later.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Just because one dog bit you once doesn’t mean all dogs are to be feared or reviled. Just because one person screwed you over doesn’t mean all people should be met with suspicion, guardedness, and anxiety. In fact, giving every new person the benefit of the doubt, no matter how many times other people have proven unworthy of it, is the only way you’ll find those who deserve it. If you treat honorable, trustworthy people as if they’re criminals, they’ll most likely move on, swiftly leaving you to the kind of people you unfairly suspected and expected them to be.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

I’m living with a cat who is at times the neediest creature I’ve ever encountered, but, like most cats, can also be loftily aloof and snootily independent. That is, although he desperately wants affection, he only wants it on his terms and timeframe, not necessarily when others are ready to give it to him. Sound just a little familiar? Of course some lucky Leos can behave exactly like that and still be loved; most housecat-emulating Lions, though, are lonely. Learning to bend and accommodate others’ desires is necessary to most relationships. Be a good kitty and try harder in that department.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Don’t try to be subtle here. While dropping hints or making a joke is an excellent strategy for addressing this kind of situation 90% of the time, in this particular case it’s unlikely to be effective. You need to channel your fiery Leo or Aries brethren and just tackle the situation head-on. Don’t be put off by how often their direct, tactless approach backfires on them (quite often indeed!). You must admit that sometimes brute force is the only thing that will get results—and that this may very well be one of those times.

To contact Caeriel send mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

We’re taught the old cliché, “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” It’s actually not a bad philosophy, most of the time; few truly valuable goals can be achieved without persistence and determination. However, sometimes it’s preferable to realize that you won’t be able to accomplish something and just give up so you can apply your time and energy to more useful and productive pursuits. This is a tough judgment call; there’s very little that’s truly impossible. However, being realistic about just how much effort something will take to succeed, and how much you‘re willing and able to give it will keep you from, quite simply, wasting your time.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Try not to obsess about the negative aspects of your pretty good situation, even though they’re likely to be especially obvious and annoying this week. Although they’re making themselves bigger and more obtrusive than usual, you should concentrate on looking past them and focus on all the stuff that’s great, and how best to bring the good things back to the forefront. That won’t be easy right now, but next week you should have some good opportunities to make things golden again—provided you’re not too hung up and bitter about the shit that went down this week.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

While you could construct an exciting, unique, and quirkily fashionable wardrobe out of your deconstructed home furnishings, you don’t really need to. There’s a part of me that mourns the wonders you’d create from your lampshades, curtains, and couch upholstery, but I’d rather you focus on the important work you’ve already begun, rather than getting sidetracked with a fun but mostly frivolous project, such as is likely to present itself this week. Don’t be tempted by it. That doesn’t mean you need to never do it—just that this is probably not the right time.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

A tree hoping to weather a storm has two possible paths of survival: either be flexible enough to bend when buffeted by harsh weather, instead of breaking, or being so massive and deep-rooted that even the highest winds and heaviest rains couldn’t topple it. You’re faced with similar options. Unlike a tree, which can’t choose which shape it takes, you can pursue either route—the important thing is to commit completely to whichever you select. Down the middle road lies only ruin since you couldn’t bend with the weather, nor stand firm against it—you’d just break.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarians don’t have the same reputation for being addicted to their routines as Taureans or Leos, but you’re just as likely to get tripped up by changes to things you’re accustomed to. An annoying new distraction could severely disrupt your concentration, so much so that all you can think about is getting away from or rid of it. Unfortunately, that’s not likely to happen any time soon; for now this is something you’re going to have to put up with—and that means getting used to it so you can still be productive in spite of it. Sorry, but that’s just how it is. Better get started.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

While it would be great if you could simply tell yourself to be motivated to do the things you know you ought to, it’s not usually quite so easy. In fact, cracking the whip and getting those tasks done is one of the hardest challenges for you Pisces. Sometimes, the only thing that works is telling yourself that if you don’t do it, you’ll have to do something you dread even more; then hold yourself to it. Usually, you’ll find your innate resistance evaporates when caving to it would result in you having to do something you despise instead.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

When you’re crushed by disappointment, concentrate on springing back. One of your finest qualities is your hopefulness and how excited you get about things you’re looking forward to. Naturally, sometimes you’ll be let down, but you need to resist becoming bitter or jaded. Remember that most of the time, things actually work out pretty well. Of course, if you’re determined to see a gloomy black cloud of bad luck hanging over your head, you can certainly make one appear. But the reality is, most of the stuff you hope for actually happens. When the occasional setback occurs, get up, dust yourself off, and cheerfully keep that in mind.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

There may be a million excellent reasons for someone to like you, but just one or two compelling grounds for dislike can negate all of those. Obviously, you can’t please everyone, and there’ll always be some people who just don’t like you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, in this case, some of the tiny negatives are unduly eclipsing the overwhelming positives, just because of someone’s limited perspective. This week, do what you must to help them see the big picture. Sure, it’s self-serving, but since once they do they’ll want you around, it’s ultimately a win-win.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Some people get cosmetic surgery that’s so over the top, it’s almost like getting their faces tattooed with permanent clown makeup. Of course, you and I will never really be able to understand people whose motivations have diverged so wildly from our own. Nevertheless, we should still try to make an effort to interact with them—first of all, simply because they’re fascinating. Secondly, because it’s required by the choices you’ve made about the kind of person you want to be. Don’t laugh at the clown faces and their ilk—instead, try your best to see things through their eyes, and thank goodness you live in a world that’s full of so much mind-
blowing weirdness.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Most people are skimmers. You can take pains to give someone detailed written instructions and the average person will miss half of the important information you’ve included. Unfortunately, you have to account for this laziness or obtuseness when dealing with people you don’t know. They’re used to the vital information being pounded at them, repeatedly, from multiple sources, and it’s made them thick, sluggish and immune to subtlety and nuance. It’s not in your nature, but you need to be obnoxiously persistent, borderline insultingly repetitive, and completely obvious this week if you want to be properly heard and heeded.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

While you may fancy yourself a maestro of a magnificent orchestra, you may occasionally find yourself conducting a quartet, or even performing a solo; in such a milieu, the grandiosity that might be acceptable in front of the Philharmonic would be embarrassingly inappropriate. While one of your strengths is to be so big and bold, it can occasionally be a weakness, as you know. You need to be aware of the contexts in which you find yourself this week and occasionally tone down the aspects of your personality which can sometimes skew larger-than-life. This won’t be as easy or obvious as it sounds, so when in doubt, aim for keywords like “modest”
and “subtle.”

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You can get a cat to play in the middle of the day, but you’re much more likely to see a livelier, more spirited cat in the evening, when your nocturnally-oriented kitty would more naturally be alert and awake. This week, try to pay attention to the natural rhythms and tendencies of those around you, and work with those whenever possible, rather than trying to impose your own arbitrary timetables. This may seem like quite a bit of effort, but really the hardest part is just paying attention. Once you do, you’ll find that not only does everything become a bit easier, everyone becomes a bit happier, too.

To contact Caeriel send E-mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

It’s funny when little kids think they’re getting away with something, because they have no subtlety or craftiness whatsoever. Everything they’re up to is completely obvious to any adult observer. In some ways, you Virgos never outgrow this. Although of course you’ve developed more social skills and can lie effectively when necessary, there are certain feelings you simply suck at hiding. Don’t bother trying, because it’s completely transparent to most of us, and just makes you look a bit silly or naïve. Try just being boldly honest about what you’re experiencing; since we already know, you’ll come off as impressively forthright.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Naturally, you always have the right to change your mind. However, that doesn’t mean the whole world must change to accommodate your new decision. This is especially true in relationships. If you went in with one understanding, and now want a new one, it’s perfectly reasonable to try to gently and clearly renegotiate. However, it’s not the least bit fair to become accusatory or enraged if the other person isn’t interested. At that point, since the ideal scenario you hoped for has proven impossible, you’ve got to decide between some less-than-ideal ones. Spend this week weighing those bittersweet options and figuring out which one is best for you.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Usually, it’s you reminding others that they can’t always get what they want (so frequently, you!). However, that’s a lesson you have to learn all too often yourself, and this week is likely to provide another unignorable reminder. Instead of railing against it, trying to fight it,  argue about it, or plunge into a depression over it, can you try to simply accept it. If you can do so swiftly and gracefully, without hesitation or fuss, you’re very likely to nearly instantly discover something new that could almost completely distract you from your unrequited desires. However, if you spend more than a minute resisting the inevitable, you may be stuck contemplating it, distraction-less, for quite some time.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

A new setting can expose new facets of yourself that you either didn’t know about or don’t often get expressed. While this is usually a fun and positive thing, it can occasionally have negative repercussions, like bringing out a side of you that you’re less than fond of. This may be the case this week in any situation that takes you out of your comfort zone—suddenly you may discover that you’re capable of more bitchiness, bossiness, or intractability than you ever imagined. Try to be graceful about these sides of yourself—but also more importantly, more compassionate when they emerge in others.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Being bored can be good sometimes. When you’re taken out of your comfort zone and away from the familiar activities you usually use to keep busy, you’re forced to become more creative and find ways to fill your time. Sometimes, this process takes quite a while; being bored for 15 minutes won’t quite do the trick. However, try being bored for two weeks and I guarantee at the end of that fortnight you’ll have found numerous entertaining pastimes you’d never have considered before. For the next couple weeks, strictly cut yourself completely off from two of your most time-consuming activities—just to see what might come forth to take up the space they leave behind. It may prove far more fulfilling.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

It’s shocking to me, in this day and age, just how wasteful some people can be, even though we’ve basically been taught to recycle and cut down on unnecessary waste for the past two decades, at least. I don’t expect people to be perfect or have no ecological footprint, of course, but I’m just dismayed at how blatantly some people simply don’t give a shit, at all. I’ll assume you’re not one of these; however, most of us could significantly improve how we treat our planet—this week, find ways to do exactly that.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

I’ve been vegetarian for over twenty years, so it’s unlikely I’ll start eating meat any time soon. However, if I did, you can bet your last dollar that it’d be free-range and organic. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with eating meat, but there’s a whole bunch wrong with the chemicals and cruelty involved with factory farming. This is my judgment call, and while I think I’m absolutely right, I wouldn’t think to impose my will on others; the most I’d do is encourage them to find the information to be totally conscious about the choices they’re making, and their potential consequences. This week, try to limit your own proselytization of your worthy agenda to
similar encouragement.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

If simple willpower could delay a rainy day, you’d be wreaking havoc with the world’s weather systems. Lately, you’ve been applying an awful lot of energy and thought to stuff you really can’t affect. While I know you have plenty more where that came from, just imagine how much more productive you’d be if you didn’t throw so much of your time and focus at stuff you can’t budge. This week, assess how effective your various efforts are likely to be—if you discover you have time and resources that’d be better spent elsewhere, please reallocate them at once.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

There’s a peach tree here that only produces hard, crunchy peaches—but they’re the most delicious peaches I’ve had in years. Even though their texture is unexpected (they’re more like apples than the peaches I usually eat), I was surprised at just how flavorful they are. Similarly, someone or something entering your life this week might have a shape or facet that you’re not familiar with or fond of—but give them a try anyway. You may be pleasantly surprised at how much the rest of them can compensate for that one “flaw,” and soon enough realize this new flavor’s not just equivalent—it’s better.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Learn another language. Geminis, more than any other sign, benefit from the ability to see things in different ways, and thinking in a foreign tongue gives your thoughts different shapes than you’re used to, and takes your mind in unexpected directions. There’s no underestimating the wonderful stuff you brilliant Twins when equipped with the proper tools. I hope you’re not too lazy to seriously pursue becoming fluently multilingual, but if you are, spend this week brainstorming other ways in which you can (at least temporarily) radically alter your perception of the world, and, hopefully, trying some of them out.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Your friends and I are always counseling you to let things go. Of course, we know that’s easier said than done, especially for you Cancers. Unfortunately, you’re not going to like your horoscope much this week, because I’m just going to tell you that you need to let go of one more thing you just don’t want to let go of. Don’t get too frustrated with me, though. You know that this is the recurring lesson you’ll need to learn throughout your life. Although you’ll never outgrow it, you’ll hopefully find that each time you’re forced to relearn it, you’ll be able to do so with more swiftness, ease, and grace.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Sometimes I must actively avoid humanity in order to keep from being overwhelmed by cynicism about it. People can be fantastic, inspiring, and creative—but they can also suck. Whenever I think that I’m going to get too pissed off about hypocrisy, stupidity, cruelty, or ignorance, I beat a fast retreat and chill out by myself for a while until I can keep my eyes on the big picture and remember that there are many positives to accompany the negatives. If you’re having trouble noticing that fact, follow my example, and hide out until it gets a little easier.

To contact Caeriel send mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

Fighting is an art form. I’m not talking about fencing or Sumo wrestling, but rather simply the ability to conclusively resolve conflicts in a graceful way. This isn’t something that comes naturally to you Virgos. Although you’re not as likely to run from disagreeements as, say, a gentle Pisces, you still occasionally back down from them instead of standing your ground, or express them in ways that won’t yield positive results. While coping with your own resentment may be easier than sticking to your guns, it’s not healthier. Practice makes perfect. Have it out, and keep having it out until, you know, you’re actually good at it.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You can only suppress your own needs for so long. You’re like a competitive swimmer who’s learned to hold her breath for minutes longer than ordinary humans. If postponing (or stifling) your own desires was an Olympic event, you’d be a gold medalist. While that flexibility helps you get into relationships, it doesn’t serve you in the longterm. Even champion swimmers need to come up for air sometime. And when you do, finally revealing your long-sublimated desires, it can come as an unwelcome shock to the person who thought you existed just to validate their wishes. Be real from the beginning—or at least before the third lap.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

A recurring theme I’ve observed is how quickly strengths can transform into weaknesses, and vice versa. We don’t often have control over this involuntary coin flip, and some people even have trouble seeing how their tremendous strengths could ever be points of weakness (or vice versa). Although the transmutation of strength into weakness is a hard sell, you’re fortunate enough to have the opposite experience this week: demonstrating how a shortcoming can actually enrich your life and create greater joy, beauty, or opportunity—as long as you’re openminded and flexible enough to seize your chance. Don’t miss it!

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Every time I have trouble getting myself to go the gym (nearly every day, naturally), I spur myself on with an inspiring picture of the hot body I hope to someday have, instead of berating myself by noticing how far I have yet to go, or pointing out the physical flaws that need correction. Some people think they’ll have better luck focusing on the negative, but I don’t often observe this to be true. You’ve employed such a strategy lately. How’s that working out for you? Don’t be your own drill sergeant. This week, try another tact: one where you’re encouraging and supportive to yourself, the way you’d (hopefully) treat a good friend.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

There’s no real shortcut here. What you’re trying to do is like capturing a photograph at the perfect angle with amazing lighting that manages to hide every extra pound or flaw. While that’s certainly less effort than the alternative—going to the gym and ditching some of that extra weight, for example—it’s also less honest and, ultimately, less fulfilling. Take the long road to where you’re going, even if it’s harder. When you do finally arrive at your destination (or the surprising place you end up instead), you’ll probably be healthier and definitely be happier than you are right now.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

While you have achieved quite a bit of success despite spreading yourself so thin, we both know that if you were to focus in just one or two directions for more than a year or three, you’d be much more successful. Of course I mention it because that’s precisely what you’re contemplating now. As you consider it, ask yourself: what is success, really? If you pursued a more concentrated approach you’d have more money, and perhaps prestige or recognition. But would you be happier? Ultimately, whether or not you decide to continue on as you have (which has worked out so far) or change course now should be entirely contingent on this question.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Although you may occasionally feel your pets and plants make better company than people do, you need to be especially vigilant about not becoming a total recluse. Especially when besieged by some strong emotion, it’s all too easy for you to hole up and stew. Please make sure you’re creating some openings for other humans to have significant influence in your life (yes, some of which may be negative). That means going out and doing stuff with other people, at least a couple times a week. Don’t worry, that still leaves you five nights with the felines and ferns, which ought to be plenty.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Leos sometimes hide behind their hair. Pisces frequently use affectations to cover their insecurities. Aries, however, most often use an exaggerated bravado to cloak their doubts. This works much of the time, but for those of us who know you (or other Aries) well, we can pretty much see right through it. Consider your “audience.” We already know all your tricks. Even if we like their flash, we don’t really need to see them again. If you’re pretty sure we won’t fall for the show, don’t bother with it; you’ll get better results by just being honest and real instead.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

People either like you or they don’t, and it usually seems like there’s not much you can do about it. That, however, isn’t precisely true. A more accurate statement is that there’s not much you’re willing to do about it. That’s okay; you thoroughly know and accept yourself just as you are. However, you should own that. Being unwilling to bend or compromise isn’t frequently regarded as the most admirable character trait, so you really shouldn’t be surprised when it turns some people off. I like that you’re not always willing to make concessions just to be popular; what I don’t like as much is when you blame other people for not being willing to meet you more than halfway.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Designer Gary Chang invented a way to make a studio apartment transform into 20 different rooms, with movable walls and furniture. Weirdly enough, it reminded me of you. With a change of outfit, attitude, or setting, you can transform so completely as to be virtually unrecognizable. This can be bewildering to some, and inspiring to others. Unfortunately, lately you’ve been spending time with more of the bewildered types and not so many inspired ones. Instead of trying to be less flexible or multitalented, this week focus on finding people who won’t be quite so anxious, offended, or put off by it.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

When things don’t play out exactly (or even similarly to) how you imagined, try not to get too upset about it. In retrospect, you’ll probably discover that your overall experience was overwhelmingly positive—unless you spent the whole time feeling bitter and let down. Instead of being hung up on what was “supposed” to be happening, try to enjoy what’s actually happening. It’s probably, at least in some ways, much better than whatever vision you were trying to manifest. Noticing that might be a blow to your ego—but you’re also likely to have a lot more fun.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

While the sun is, effectively, the source of most life on Earth, it’s also powerfully dangerous. Most humans who go out without sunscreen for any length of time usually regret it. A little respect and caution for similar sources of radiance is in order this week. It’s a good week to reclaim your natural birthright. This doesn’t mean becoming insufferable and entitled. However, if someone seems to be forgetting just how radiant and strong you can be, give them a little scorch to the ego. Nothing that a little tenderly applied aloe won’t soothe—but something they won’t easily forget, either.

To contact Caeriel send E-mail to:
sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.