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Ask Rocco

Heart attacks: the 50-year lie By Rocco Castellano You’ve been lied to. I know you’re looking at this page saying to yourself, “Really? This must be about another fitness-related scam, like the Acai Berry Diet or the Green Tea Diet … ” Not even close. We, as a nation, have been lied to for over 50 […]

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Advice Goddess: 12/9

By Amy Alkon Belittle Richard My girlfriend says she likes that I’m smart but says I can be “on” too much of the time. For example, if someone pronounces a word wrong or uses it incorrectly, I’ll correct them. If they talk about their fad diet, I’ll explain why it doesn’t make scientific sense. My […]

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News of the weird: 12/9

By Chuck Shepherd Lead Story – TMI Kansas lawyer Dennis Hawver was disbarred in November for his comically bad (24 separate deficiencies) defense of double-murder suspect Phillip Cheatham in 2005 (which led to a new trial for Cheatham). Hawver had admitted to the jury that his client was a “shooter of people” (a previous manslaughter […]

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The Docket: 12/2

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove Spidey senses A 23-year-old man was arrested on domestic violence and aggravated menacing charges after spending the night at the home of his pregnant girlfriend. After being bitten by what he believed was a spider, the man flipped out, pouring dry […]

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Ask Rocco

Planet Fitness: The good, the bad and the WTF By Rocco Castellano When I decided to write this column it was going to be the ultimate “slam” article. I was going to rip Planet Fitness to shreds with funny anecdotes, stupid choices in marketing and the infamous snack policy. All of those things will be […]

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News of the weird: 12/2

By Chuck Shepherd Update Indonesia’s holy “Sex Mountain” on the island of Java is still performing its incomprehensible function of making Muslims feel prosperous and optimistic if they have intercourse with strangers, as reported in November by Australia’s “SBS Dateline” TV program. A reporter journeyed to Mount Kemukus (near the heavily populated Surakarta) to observe […]

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Advice Goddess: 12/2

By Amy Alkon Moby dickhead In social situations, my boyfriend will often pretend to have read books I know he hasn’t. He doesn’t just fake it with some casual “Yeah, I read that.” He will try to say something deep and philosophical but can end up not making much sense. He’s too smart to need […]

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Ask Rocco

If you’re fat … stop exercising! By Rocco Castellano [Editor’s note: This the first installment of The Dayton City Paper’s NEW Health, Wellness & Fitness column, Ask Rocco, by Rocco Castellano. Castellano is a fitness personality who has been featured in print and on television, including episodes of MTV’s Made.] So, this is the column I’m […]

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News of the weird 11/25

By Chuck Shepherd Weird patriotism November is tax-publicizing season in Finland, where, starkly unlike America, the government releases all individuals’ tax records to help build public support for the country’s vast welfare state. Thus, reported Foreign Policy magazine, Finnish society gets a “yearly dose of schadenfreude” … “opening the door for a media frenzy of […]

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The Docket 11/25

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove This week, Docket editor Charles Grove explored Dayton police reports of Thanksgivings past. Below are just a few of these festive tales – they may just make you feel thankful for what you’ve got. Thankful for jails Police responded to a […]

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Advice Goddess: 11/25

By Amy Alkon Scoot force My husband’s been saving for a motorcycle, and I was excited about riding on the back, hanging on to him – sexy and fun! But then he came home with a Vespa, the little Italian scooter. It just seems so girly. The tiny wheels make it look like a toy, […]

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Afterglo 11/18/14

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Your green gift guide By Caroline Shannon-Karasik’s   The perfect gift can sometimes be a tough find. Will she like the color? Does he even like to read? And what size was her 5-year-old, again? But whether it’s a holiday, birthday or “just because” occasion, it’s important to consider a present that is eco-wonderful. Whether […]

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News of the weird: 11/18

With Chuck Shepherd The other world series In October, another premier world sports event reached its climax, with one team left standing, rewarded for months of grueling practices, to the cheers of adoring, frenzied fans. The “world series” of professional team computer games was settled on a stage in a packed, 40,000-seat stadium in Seoul […]

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Advice Goddess 11/18/14

Along came polygraph by Amy Alkon   I’m an aspiring comedian – seriously aspiring – so I’m out most nights doing stand-up. My girlfriend gets upset about all the time I put into this and expects my nights off to be spent with her. Recently, I was going to an open mic, when a friend […]

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The Docket: 11/18

Strange, but true: Dayton’s police blotter, reported verbatim Researched and reported by Charles Grove A new trend? A 36-year-old woman was arrested at a department store after she attempted to steal a wig by placing it under her shirt. After trying to leave the store, she was stopped by employees who asked for the wig […]

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Advice Goddess: 11/11

By Amy Alkon Scold rush  I try to be direct, but my girlfriend often sees this as meanness. For example, when we’re out to dinner, she sometimes takes forever to order when the server is standing right there. I’ll call her out on this – tell her she was rude to keep the guy waiting. […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

L&D

Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

L&D

Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

L&D

Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]