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Law and Disorder – 01/26/11

Stranded in my driveway, branded a fool? By Isabel A. Suárez I own a sports car that has transmission problems, which needs to be completely replaced.  Due my current financial situation, I cannot afford to have the repairs done in the near future. I have been told by my insurance company that I need to […]

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Toons – 01/19/11

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“I’ve Got What?”

Diagnosing Shadow Syndrome By Michael Roizen, M.D., and Mehmet Oz, M.D. Got a “shadow syndrome”? How trendy of you. Not as in having a penchant for chic black clothes or edgy vampire movies. Shadow syndromes are subtle hints from your body that trouble may be brewing in your heart, your bones, your joints or elsewhere. […]

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News of the Weird – 01/19/11

News of the Weird By Chuck Shepherd A now-10-year-old church in Denver ministers to (as contemplated by 1 Corinthians 4:11-13) the homeless, the reviled, and the persecuted and formally named itself after the actual words in verse 13, the “Scum of the Earth” Church. The congregation touts nonjudgmental Christianity; owns an elegant, aging building (but […]

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Advice Goddess – 01/19/11

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon ONE QUESTION  – Triumph Of The Willy When you gave advice to the woman complaining about her husband surfing the Internet for porn and swimsuit photos of Serena Williams, you seemed to have missed a word in her question. That word is “husband.” I doubt people get married with it […]

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Toons – 01/12/11

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Advice Goddess – 01/12/11

Advice Goddess – 01/12/11 By Amy Alkon FIRST QUESTION – Extremely Old Spice I’m a 40-something married woman with an unwanted admirer. Last year, an 80ish married man, a member of my literary club, called me, confessed his passion for me, and begged me to have a romantic dinner with him. I reluctantly made plans […]

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News of the Weird – 01/12/11

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran: David Henderson, a Korean War veteran long suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, applied 15 days past the deadline for enhanced care under a 2001 veterans-benefits law and thus was, as required by the statute, disqualified from the additional benefits. Henderson’s doctor pointed out that major […]

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Nude year, nude pets …

The Humane Society and SICSA have your perfect ‘nude’ year’s resolution “Why doesn’t Donald Duck wear pants, but he wears a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?” The question has plagued children for years and, well, I don’t know the answer to it. So in keeping with this issue’s “nude” […]

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The Advice Goddess – 01/05/11

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon Home Is Where The Fart Is My wife of eight years is a really good person but always needs reassurance that she’s attractive. I’m finding that difficult because, on a typical night, she takes a dump in our master bathroom with the door open, saunters over to our bed […]

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News of the Weird – 01/05/11

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd Biologists Studying Rare Species Have to Be Quick:  Researchers learned from reports in early 2010 of a new monkey species in Myanmar, with a nose so recessed that it habitually collects rainfall and constantly sneezes. However, according to an October National Geographic dispatch, by the time scientists arrived […]

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News of the Weird – 12/29/10

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd The Cabral Chrysler dealership in Manteca, Calif., was so desperate for a sale in October that one of its employees picked up potential customer Donald Davis, 67, at his nursing home, brought the pajamas-and-slippers-clad, dementia-suffering resident in to sign papers, handed him the keys to his new pickup […]

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News of the Weird – 12/22/10

SHEPHERD’S NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd News of the Over-privileged (1) Cell phones and GPS devices have led national park visitors to do “stupid” things, confident that they will be saved from themselves, a Grand Teton National Park spokesperson told The New York Times in August — such as the lost, cold hiker […]

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Love, Like Ashes, Fall From The Sky

“There was a girl who fell out of the sky, they say, a love story drop-out, horror story knock-out, delinquent daughter of a poison love, no sleeping pills to anesthetize the wing amputation, just gravity’s law of laceration.” ~Natalie McCollum “Ashes To Angels” And so it begins. The crashing cadence of Natalie McCollum’s experimental odyssey […]

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News Of The Weird 12/15/10

NEWS OF THE WEIRD by Chuck Shepherd Among the oppressive patriarchal customs that remain in force in Saudi Arabia is a requirement that females obtain their father’s (or guardian’s) permission before marrying – even women who are profoundly independent, such as the 42-year-old surgeon (licensed to practice in the UK and Canada as well as […]

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Fight the Good Fight

Stop three killers with one strategy By Michael Roizen, M.D., and Mehmet Oz, M.D. POWIE! Batman and Robin triumphed over Gotham City gangsters because they were team players – a dynamic duo (The superhero costumes didn’t hurt, either). Follow their lead: Put together your own powerful posse, and you can knock out not one, not […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

L&D

Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

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Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

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Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]