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News of the Weird – 01/12/11

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran: David Henderson, a Korean War veteran long suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, applied 15 days past the deadline for enhanced care under a 2001 veterans-benefits law and thus was, as required by the statute, disqualified from the additional benefits. Henderson’s doctor pointed out that major […]

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Nude year, nude pets …

The Humane Society and SICSA have your perfect ‘nude’ year’s resolution “Why doesn’t Donald Duck wear pants, but he wears a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?” The question has plagued children for years and, well, I don’t know the answer to it. So in keeping with this issue’s “nude” […]

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The Advice Goddess – 01/05/11

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon Home Is Where The Fart Is My wife of eight years is a really good person but always needs reassurance that she’s attractive. I’m finding that difficult because, on a typical night, she takes a dump in our master bathroom with the door open, saunters over to our bed […]

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News of the Weird – 01/05/11

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd Biologists Studying Rare Species Have to Be Quick:  Researchers learned from reports in early 2010 of a new monkey species in Myanmar, with a nose so recessed that it habitually collects rainfall and constantly sneezes. However, according to an October National Geographic dispatch, by the time scientists arrived […]

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News of the Weird – 12/29/10

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd The Cabral Chrysler dealership in Manteca, Calif., was so desperate for a sale in October that one of its employees picked up potential customer Donald Davis, 67, at his nursing home, brought the pajamas-and-slippers-clad, dementia-suffering resident in to sign papers, handed him the keys to his new pickup […]

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News of the Weird – 12/22/10

SHEPHERD’S NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd News of the Over-privileged (1) Cell phones and GPS devices have led national park visitors to do “stupid” things, confident that they will be saved from themselves, a Grand Teton National Park spokesperson told The New York Times in August — such as the lost, cold hiker […]

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Love, Like Ashes, Fall From The Sky

“There was a girl who fell out of the sky, they say, a love story drop-out, horror story knock-out, delinquent daughter of a poison love, no sleeping pills to anesthetize the wing amputation, just gravity’s law of laceration.” ~Natalie McCollum “Ashes To Angels” And so it begins. The crashing cadence of Natalie McCollum’s experimental odyssey […]

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News Of The Weird 12/15/10

NEWS OF THE WEIRD by Chuck Shepherd Among the oppressive patriarchal customs that remain in force in Saudi Arabia is a requirement that females obtain their father’s (or guardian’s) permission before marrying – even women who are profoundly independent, such as the 42-year-old surgeon (licensed to practice in the UK and Canada as well as […]

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Fight the Good Fight

Stop three killers with one strategy By Michael Roizen, M.D., and Mehmet Oz, M.D. POWIE! Batman and Robin triumphed over Gotham City gangsters because they were team players – a dynamic duo (The superhero costumes didn’t hurt, either). Follow their lead: Put together your own powerful posse, and you can knock out not one, not […]

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Battling the holiday bulge

Don’t accept those extra pounds this year By Caroline Shannon-Karasik Sure, a few of our favorite things about this season are raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but what about the spare tire and larger pant sizes the holidays can bring? Still smitten with that third slice of fruitcake? It’s easy to chalk up […]

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News Of The Weird 12/08/10

CHUCK SHEPHERD’S NEWS OF THE WEIRD by Chuck Shepherd Britain’s National Health Service acknowledged in November that, because of a shortage of healthy lungs and other organs available for transplant, it was offering those on waiting lists the option of receiving them from former smokers, drug addicts, cancer patients and the elderly. “You have to […]

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Win passes to see TRUE GRIT on December 14th – Closed

This contest is now CLOSED. Thank you for your entries.  Winners will be announced shortly. This Week’s Dayton City Paper Contest You are invited to enter your email address and other information to qualify to be randomly selected to win ADMISSION FOR TWO to attend the screening for Paramount Pictures latest release, TRUE GRIT starring Jeff […]

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Astrology – December 01-07, 2010

December 1-7, 2010 Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Certain male lizards claim piles of rock as their territories—the most dominant lizards have the biggest best mounds of precious, heat-soaking stone. They also have the most females—but these aren’t drawn to their dominant behavior, striking physiques, or winning personalities so much as their primo real estate. Give […]

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News Of The Weird 12/01/10

CHUCK SHEPHERD’S NEWS OF THE WEIRD by Chuck Shepherd The collapse of the economy in 2008 might have reached the far corners of Earth, but evidently not to Planet Calypso, the make-believe asteroid containing make-believe real estate in the multiplayer online game Entropia Universe, where resort entrepreneur Jon Jacobs recently cashed out his properties for […]

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News Of The Weird 11/24/10

News of the Weird 11/24/10 By Chuck Shepherd Surreal Estate Sixty-two percent of the 12 million people of Mumbai, India, live in slums, but the city is also home to Mukesh Ambani’s 27-story private residence (37,000 square feet, 600 employees serving a family of five), reported to cost about $1 billion. According to an October […]

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News Of The Weird 11/17/10

NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Shepherd Lead Story About 20 percent of Japan’s adult-video market is now “elder porn” with each production featuring one or more studly seniors and Shigeo Tokuda, 76, among the most popular. He told Toronto’s Globe and Mail in October that he still “performs” physically “without Viagra,” in at least […]

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Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/19

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Major key Last weekend a local couple was watching TV in their living room, having a relaxing evening, when suddenly […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/12

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Jesus take the wheel A local couple recently decided to visit their church on a particularly warm and muggy Sunday […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 9/5

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Flightless In a local park, police were dispatched to the crime scene. A woman called the police when she realized […]

The Docket: 8/29

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Stolen in a nanosecond Just last week a woman visited her local sheriff’s office to place a tip on a […]

Law & Disorder: The Docket 8/22

L&D

Totally secure knot …not In a local home a garage door was broken into. This garage door was perfectly secured […]