This is for the men out there… sorry ladies

By Rocco Castellano

Normally I try to get something in that both genders can relate to, but this time, ladies, you’re shit out of luck… you’ll probably be able to take some nuggets from this piece, but that’s all. Call me a misogynist, if you must. Actually, I’m pretty sure this will be a real boost for women’s sex lives, so don’t start sending in the hate mail just yet.

You won’t believe the emails or calls I get, but male vitality, vigor, and stamina are among the important questions I get asked. I believe this whole Low-T, limp dick, and “I have a headache thing” is absolute bullshit. For all you f–king men out there that have X and Y chromosomes, this is the column you’ve been waiting for me
to write.

I know all you idiot 20-somethings, 30-somethings, and beyond think that it’s sporting to be popping little blue pills because it keeps your manhood hard for hours. So I decided to teach your Low-T, limp dick, frustrated men out there how to make sure you don’t have any of the previous symptoms after you read
this column.

Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, some idiot scientists and doctors thought up this really insane idea that people were becoming too fat, and that fat was the problem. They made the pitch so convincing that even yours truly took the bait. Every day I feel like an asshole for believing them, but I pulled that low fat, no cholesterol train for a long time… and I apologize for being so gullible.  The fact is that the low-fat, no cholesterol advocates were wrong and are still wrong. And our sex lives have suffered for it.

There are two major factors and a bunch of stupid doctors that brought this phenomenon on. One had to do with a lying asshole named Ancel Keyes, who published a study that said high-fat foods and cholesterol caused atherosclerosis and heart disease, which scared the bejesus out of millions of people who read Life and Time magazines. It just so happened to be a big lie that everyone fell for. The other was one of the greatest marketing ploys ever propagated on the American public. P&G came out with a fat and lard substitute called Crisco and paid the American Heart Association with a donation to endorse a P&G campaign to turn the American people against natural fat, buy the next best thing, and not die from heart disease. Well, we all know how that story ends… heart disease is worse now then it
ever was.

OK, so how do you get a hard cock and please your girlfriend or wife like you are born again?

I thought you would never ask. One thing to remember, guys, is that estrogen is not your friend and never will be. Limit your soy and anything that even looks like soy. If you feel like your mini me is not as perky as he once was, you need to make sure you go buy some carrots. Yes… carrots aren’t really good for your eyes, but they are great for your sex life or at least a small part of it. Getting rid of estrogen, and listen up, medical professionals, a bowl of shredded carrots as a salad will eliminate estrogen from your body. Yep, take a potato peeler and shave a carrot stick, add some sea salt, some olive oil, equal part white or dark balsamic vinegar, and you will do more for your body than a bunch of $500 testosterone treatments. I would eat at least two carrot salads a day for two weeks and then at least one a week for the rest of your life. This is a biggie, so sit down while you read this because it will blow your f–king mind. Eat as much “real” fat as you can. Butter, whole milk, lard, beef tallow, bacon, beef, organ meats, Haagen Dazs ice cream all are your friends. Funny thing is that all this food is actually good for your brain too. So, the little head and the big head can benefit from this diet.

Probably the most controversial piece of this sexy puzzle is the food that every idiotic doctor has told you to avoid. Eggs and egg yolks to be exact. This is the single biggest reason most men can’t get it up. All these egg alternatives, stupid bodybuilders eating egg white whatever, never eating the most important hormone a man can eat… cholesterol. Here’s what I want you to do and it’s not going to be a pleasantry. I’m not here to blow rainbows and unicorns up your ass. Start off by eating three yolks and one egg white omelet for two weeks then increase it to four yolks and two whites for another three weeks every day.  That’s it.  You’re welcome.

Rocco Castellano is the author of “askROCCO Uncensored v1,” a speaker and a controversial fitness personality who has won an Emmy for his fitness training role in MTV’s Made. For more information, please visit

Tags: , ,

Rocco Castellano is the author of “askROCCO Uncensored v1,” a speaker and a controversial fitness personality who has won an Emmy for his fitness training role in MTV’s Made. For more information, please visit

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Got an Opinion?


We are interested to hear what you think.  Please send us a message. [contact-form 4 “Opinion”]  

Springfield’s hidden gem


Referred to as an American Folk Art site, I didn’t know what I expected on my journey to Springfield’s Hartman […]

Debate 7/17: Flag on the Play


Q: Should persons with certain known behavioral tendencies such as suicide or violence be prohibited from owning guns? Legislatures across […]

Conspiracy Theorist 7/17: Hooray for Domino’s

Year after year, the same roads are torn up and road crews patch them. But they never really repair them. […]

On Your Marc 7/17: Good any day

First, a funny story. Larry Lee, the big tackle from Roth High School, for a number of reasons decided he […]

The Cult, Stone Temple Pilots, and Bush at Rose

CULT 2016 Tim Cadiente-2

“Rock and roll never forgets,” the classic rock song goes, and Billy Duffy, guitarist and founding member of the British […]