Why people get hit

H i. I’ve decided to start a new thread dealing with what stupid things we’ve all done that had absolutely no need to happen other than our own personal stupidity. Ideally, someone gave you a smack, but it’s OK if you just jacked up your car or destroyed your house. Please add on as you see fit.

1. You MUST have been an adult when this happened. Not that there’s not a reason to whack a kid, I just don’t want to promote something so obvious as idiocy in minors.

2. Any long-term injury may only have been caused to YOU, and it has to be kinda funny.

3. You must indicate the LESSON you learned.

Here we go. Benny’s #1.

1. I beat an ex-girfriend at Mario Cart by shelling her right at the finish line and she got so mad she punched me in the nose. Then she tried to pretend she didn’t. We were the only two in the room.

LESSON: Don’t beat a girl at anything, and if you do, for GODSAKES don’t make fun of her.

Ben Tomkins
Ben Tomkins is a violinist, teacher, journalist and critically acclaimed composer currently living in Denver, Colorado. He hates stupidity and generally believes that the volume of one’s voice is inversely proportional to one’s knowledge of an issue. Reach Ben Tomkins at BenTomkins@DaytonCityPaper.com.

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Venting for the voiceless

Author Justin Curtis’s Troy-inspired novel By Katie Fender Photo: “Plight of the Downtrodden,” by Justin Curtis Troy native and author […]

Art & Soul

Yellow Springs’ art fair connects art to community By Tara Pettit Photo: The Art & Soul Fair takes place from […]

Be Well, Marsha 11/17/15

The slower seasons By Marsha Bonhart I have a friend whom I adore. I don’t always understand her, but she’s […]

Three artists. Three days. One lock.

‘Locked In’ on art at Yellow Springs Arts Council By Joyell Nevins Photo: [l-r] Artists Brandon Lowery, Nathaniel Foley and […]

Ask Rocco 11/17/15

Who the hell is Tony Zale anyway? By Rocco Castellano Photo: Boxer Tony Zale knocks Rocky Graziano to the ground […]

March of the Turkeys

The Turkey Trot tradition treks on By Don Hurst Photo: The Ohio River Road Runners Club 37th Annual Turkey Trot […]